


Ashes To Ashes (Priest!Gerard Frerard) (SEQUEL TO DEVIL'S WORK)

by Headfirst_for_helena



Series: Devils work [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: FrankIero, Frerard, GerardWay, M/M, MCR, my chemical romance - Freeform, priest!Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 67,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Headfirst_for_helena/pseuds/Headfirst_for_helena
Summary: Sequel to Devil's Work so go read that first ;)Frank is struggling to keep afloat.He thought that when he turned Eighteen he'd be able to run off into the sunset, but as his birthday approaches he's beginning to realise that one more year changes nothing. He's still been disowned by any family he's ever know, he's still keeping secrets from his friends that are big enough to destroy their friendships, and he's still involved with his local priest. Add into the mix a gang of thugs, graffiti and an inappropriate collar fixation, and welcome to the life of one particularly screwed up teenager.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: Devils work [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719991
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

One

I drifted in and out of sleep, part of me wanting to wake up, and the other part wanting nothing more than to stay in my cocooned state forever. However reality was slowly seeping back into my veins, as my dreams became less vivid and more questionable, and my memories began to blur back together.

When I opened my eyes, all i could see was the white ceiling above me. But this ceiling was higher than the one I was used to. And as I turned my head I took in the room I was lying in. Navy blue walls, a creme carpet... this was certainly not my normal surroundings. The room was tidy, except for the rucksack propped up against the wardrobe. I could see my clothes lying in a heap on the floor next to it, and I guess that was when my memories came back into focus.

I remembered getting home to my aunt and uncle's house after spending a selfish amount of time with Gerard, only to see they'd found the drugs stuffed in my wardrobe. Of course, they weren't for my own use, but rather a tip that came as a result of a drug drop I had been roped into. Not that it would have made much difference to them even if they had known the truth.

The facts had remained that I'd been smuggling drugs into their home, and that was the final straw in a huge build up, finally sending them off the edge.

They'd kicked me out of their house, and part of me was almost hurt by how quickly they washed their hands of me. Not that I could really talk as I had always been open about my despisal for them and their home. Except my cousin, of course. Ray was about the only family member who didn't currently hate my guts. Well, at least I thought he didn't. It was hard to tell by the guarded expression he'd been wearing when I'd left.

My mind skipped to turning up on Kellin's doorstep, recalling the offer he'd mentioned weeks ago when he'd told me I was always welcome to the spare room in his house if the bullshit got too much at home. At the time i'd thanked him and moved on, not realising i'd soon be taking him up on it.

He'd welcomed me in, telling me how his parents were never here and wouldn't mind anyway, as they liked to think of him having some company and not being holed up in that massive house alone. Of course, he had Vic, but his parents didn't know about him yet.

He didn't ask too much, which i was extremely grateful of. I knew i'd have to tell him something soon though, as my tired and drained expression that i'd worn when I arrived was enough for him to send me straight to the guest bed, but I guessed that now I was rested up he'd want to know more. At least Kellin already knew a lot about Ian and his gang, so it wouldn't come as too big of a shock to him to learn the rest of the details.

I think i'd have to keep the part about Gerard from him for a while longer though, as I feared that might just tip him over the edge.

With a yawn I stretched out my arms, enjoying the comfort of the double bed, with freshly washed sheets and a safe feeling to the whole room that I got in few places these days. I'd always liked Kellin's house, and not because of it's size or the expensive objects within it. I liked the sense of life it had, with friends always coming and going, people crashing on the sofa like a second home and Kellin always eager to make them a slice of toast as they did so. I knew he'd only get lonely otherwise, which was why he liked to surround himself with people.

I wondered about how much he even got to see of his parents. He didn't talk about them much and I knew from my own personal experience that it's better not to pry into such personal matters. I couldn't help but wonder what was worse though - parents like his who were always away, or parents like mine who literally sent me away. All the way over the Atlantic ocean, to be precise.

I lazily grabbed at my phone, being careful to keep myself cucooned in the duvet as I did so, and checked my messages. No-one else except for Kellin and Ray knew i'd been kicked out yet, so luckily I had some peace and quiet.

Ray hadn't texted though, which really bugged me. I thought he would've at least asked if I found somewhere to sleep for the night. I guess he'd just automatically assumed I was going to Gerard's house though, and hadn't bothered.

After ten minutes or so of procrastinating, I finally rolled out of the bed and pulled on my hoodie, feeling kind of chilly in my t-shirt and boxers despite the fact that summer was now in fully swing.

When I got downstairs Kellin was stretched out across the sofa, noisily eating toast as he watched some sort of crappy comedy programme. He paused it when I sat down on the other sofa though, sending me a bright smile.

"Hey" He glanced at my drained expression "Help yourself to the food man, if you're going to be staying here then you might as well get use to where everything is out there." He very casually gestured in the general direction of the kitchen, reminding me of why it had been his house i'd chosen to go to the night before.

Well, also because he was the only one except for Gerard that knew about Ian's gang, but his easy hospitality had definitely been a factor. Especially as going to Gerard's wasn't an option, as much as I had wanted to. It just wasn't worth the risk of someone finding out I was living there, and then starting to ask questions.

"Thanks" i nodded, but didn't move from my seat. "Well, don't you want to ask?"

"What? About what happened?" He asked, glancing me up and down "because if you want to get a coffee or something first then go ahead dude, it looks like an interesting story." My fingers twitched at the mention of caffeine, and I quickly found myself getting to my feet.

"Okay, sure, but I will tell you, don't worry" He just shrugged it off.

"I know" he said "I trust you." Part of me wanted to tell him that after everything that had happened he shouldn't, but I knew when it was best to just leave things, so instead I went in search of my caffeine fix.

**

"Well shit" Kellin whilst when i'd finished telling him about the events of the last few days (minus anything about Gerard "and they just threw you out? No regard for where you were going or who would take you in?"

"None at all. I told you, they've disowned me. They don't care anymore. Not that they ever did to start with, but you know." I tried to brush it all off. "I saw it coming a long way off really, this was just them making it official."

"Well you can stay here for as long as you want" he sighed "just.. make sure you keep my name out of all this gang business. I don't want to get wrapped up in any of that."

"Of course" I rushed "Seriously Kellin you're really saving me by taking me in like this. I promise as soon as i can i'll get a job and -"

"Frank, shut up, i like having you here and it's not like we're exactly struggling financially. Don't worry about it."

"Fine, but i don't like to feel like i'm taking advantage of all of this." He just shrugged it off again, and I felt slightly better knowing that he really didn't seem to mind me being around. I still wished I could at least pay for the food I was consuming though. I hated feeling like a burden to people I cared about.

**

"I'm going out with Vic later, what me to cancel and hang with you?" Kellin asked me later on it the day as we sat in the lounge, him playing some game on his phone whilst I sat on the sofa, laptop balanced on my legs as I messaged Pete to tell him about my change of address. I kept it reasonably vague, saying that James had finally kicked me out and that I was now staying with Kellin should he ever need to get in touch with me. I knew he'd want to know all the details, but I'd probably just spin him a lie about more tagging. Something he might actually believe, as I knew if Pete Wentz ever found out what was really going on he'd throw it back at me in disbelief. And then go tell his boyfriend.

"Of course not! Don't be stupid" I rushed "seriously, i've already invaded your home, don't let me spoil your love life too."

"Well, if you're sure" he frowned "I don't want you to feel like i'm abandoning you in your time of need. And Vic would totally understand too, although i haven't told him you're here yet. I didn't know wether you wanted people to know yet or if you wanted to tell people yourself."

"I'm totally sure, go have fun" I rolled my eyes at his overly-caring tone "i'm sure I can cope with one evening alone. Besides, i'm not even upset by any of it."

"If you're sure" He stood up "what shall i say to him about you being here? Or do you want me to not mention it at all?"

"Just tell him i'm staying with you for a bit whilst I sort myself out and that my aunt and uncle kicked me out. Say it was because I got done for tagging again or something, everyone will believe that instantly." I gave a wave of my hand "i really don't care what you make up to be honest, as long as we stick to the same story then it's fine."

"okay, i'll just improvise" he nodded "well, in that case I better go get changed. Help yourself to anything from the fridge for dinner, my parents pay for the food bills anyway - delivery comes every monday evening. Washing machine is in the utility room, the ironing board was last seen two weeks ago... oh, and you have to turn the downstairs bathroom tap on and off again if you want hot water from it. I think that's everything really. Welcome to casa del Quinn."

***

"So they just kicked you out?" Pete asked me over Skype, halfway through a mouthful of pizza "like, no money, no advice.. nothing?"

"Yep" I was sitting crossed legged in the lounge as I skyped him. Kellin had gone out with Vic and I had the place to myself, and I had slowly started to see why Kellin enjoyed having other people round so often. Big houses weren't so great when it was just you in them. Too many empty rooms for my liking. That's why I'd skyped Pete, knowing he'd bring me quick entertainment.

"That's so fucking low of them" He sighed "then again, you always did say they were dicks in that house."

"To be honest i'm glad to be out of there" I shrugged "now i get to live with Kellin, and I finally don't have someone breathing down my neck at every given moment, you know?"

"Surely they can't just let you live on your own if you're not Eighteen for another few months though?" He pondered "i mean, i don't think it's legal."

"No, but technically Kellin's parents live here, it's just that they go away on so many trips for their business. So on paper it looks like i'm living with them too. Besides, what would they do? By the time I got into the care system it would already be time for me to leave. No point."

"What about your parents? I know they're dicks but surely they're going to want to know where you are?"

"I had a few messages from them, but honestly then can just piss off. They'll soon forgot about me anyway, they always do." I brushed it off, not wanting to even have to talk about them.

"Hey, at least you won't be forced to go to church every day anymore" He grinned, trying to cheer me up "you can actually have your sunday lie-ins back!"

"Oh. Yeah" my voice must have faltered, because he frowned.

"What? Did you like it or something?"

"No, no" i rushed "I'll just miss winding them up in the services, that's all" he seemed to buy my excuse and carried on talking through mouthfuls of pizza, but my mind was still stuck on it. Now that i wasn't being forced to go anymore, it would just look suspicious for me to continue, which meant i'd have to see even less of Gerard in the public eye.

I shook these thoughts off, reminding myself that we'd easily work around this. After all, just a few more months lay between us and a legal relationship. And I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of the one good thing in my life.

______________________________________________________________

Hey woo we're back. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter!

~ Headfirst For Helena


	2. 2

Chapter Two 

I heard Kellin come back from his date later on that night, but by that point i was already in bed, numbly scrolling through my phone with my eyes glazed over and a mind lulling me to sleep with each boring status update I saw. 

I was going to drag myself from my comfortable cuccoon to see if he had a nice time, when I heard a second voice, which was the unmistakable tone of Vic Fuentes. And if the giggling and murmuring i could hear where anything to go by, I didn't think they'd appreciate being disturbed at that point. So I turned off my phone and rolled over, ignoring the noises of the two of them clattering up the stairs in a tipsy state. 

All I have to say is thank god the house was big enough for me to be able to hear them from Kellin's room, because when I came down to grab some breakfast the next morning Vic was still there. He was sat on a barstool eating a bowl of cereal with messy hair and yesterdays jeans on, along with what was unmistakable Kellin's The Walking Dead t-shirt on. 

"Hey" I spoke from behind him, making him jump ever so slightly and spin around on the barstool, propelling himself with his foot.

"Frank! Hey!" he spoke through a mouthful "Sorry, I totally forgot for a moment that you were crashing here."

"No problem" I chuckled, heading straight for cupboard in search of a mug, still talking to him over my shoulder as I did so "Did you guys have a good date last night?" I didn't even have to look around to know he was blushing, it was apparent in his tone of voice when he next spoke.

"Oh, yeah. Great thanks. You er..." i turned around to see him biting his lip awkwardly "you didn't... hear anything, did you?"

"Vic, don't look so worried" I chuckled "I didn't hear you guys doing the dirty, if that's what you mean. Your bedroom activities are not something i'd ever want to have to listen to, as much as i'm sure it's great for you."

He exhaled slightly after that "Okay, phew."

"Seriously, even if I did hear anything I would've just moved to the other spare room or something" As I stirred away at my coffee i decided it was probably time I changed the conversation, before it got any more detailed than necessary. "Anyway, did you want a coffee?" 

"Oh i'm fine, I already had one" He too seemed grateful for the subject change, eagerly going along with it "Kellin mentioned you'd be staying here for the foreseeable future, so I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other around." 

"Yeah i guess" I gave a small nod "you don't mind, do you? Because you know, i'd understand if you felt I was intruding on you guys..." 

"Not at all" he gave a wave of his hand "You're a great guy Frank, and i'm sorry things got rough enough that you had to resort to living with Kellin" he threw in a joke on the end, making me smile and try not to show the stab of guilt I felt when he complimented me like that. 

"I heard that!" Came a yell from the living room, causing us both to laugh aloud "And Frank, don't start ganging up on me with him!" Kellin continued to yell instead of actually getting up off the sofa to talk to us "you're suppose to be on my side!" 

"Aw come on Kellin, like that ever happens" Vic yelled back "besides, stop eavesdropping on us, it's rude." 

"It's my fucking house!" He retorted back, and I shrugged in response as he had a point. "Besides, I can hear you getting embarrassed over our sex life just as well from here anyway." That sure seemed to shut Vic up, who turned back to me with what was definitely the start of a blush beginning to form. 

"Anyway, as I was saying" he rushed on "I think it's great you're staying here. We've only talked now and again and it would be great to get to know you better." 

"Same to you" I grinned, and from that moment I knew that me and Vic Fuentes had the potential to become close friends. I liked the way he let you speak and seemed to genuinely listen, and I liked the way he didn't ask me what had happened to cause me to end up at Kellin's. Instead he just told me how nice it was to have me around. I also liked how easy it was to wind him up, and I really fucking liked his band. 

The thought of waking up and coming down to have coffee with these two in the mornings was a pleasant one, and as I looked around I knew i'd hit the jackpot by moving in with Kellin. I'd slept better the night before than I ever did at my aunt and uncle's house, and not just because of the expensive mattresses. 

It was starting to seem like my disownment was becoming one of the best things that ever happened to me. 

***

It was a Sunday, so I knew Gerard had church all morning and the first half of the afternoon too, so i restrained myself against the urge to go and see him, knowing that it was not worth another encounter with my family.

I hadn't actually texted or called him yet though, so I hoped that my aunt and uncle had the decency to not spread any lies about my whereabouts. I knew they'd never taint their reputation by telling the truth, but I wouldn't put it past them to make up some wishy-washy lie about me being ill or away or some other stupid excuse. Ray would hopefully be there to set the record straight if they did though. At least, that was if he wasn't pissed at me.

So I hung around with Vic and Kellin in the daytime, catching up on some college work and then playing videos games with them to pass the time. Before I knew it, it was 4pm, meaning that Gerard must have reached home by now. 

"I'm heading out" I yelled to Kellin, who was currently watching some movie with his boyfriend in the living room. I'd been upstairs for the past hour or so, leaving them to some privacy. As much as they were good company, I didn't want to outstay my welcome and become a complete third wheel.

"Sure thing" Kellin yelled back at the same time as Vic gave a "see ya!" They were probably grateful for the time alone.

The walk to Gerard's house was shorter from Kellin's, only spanning the length of a few songs before I found myself walking down his driveway, glancing left and right as I did so to check there was nobody around who might see me go inside (and then probably not emerge again for at least a few hours, knowing us.)

I knocked twice, which seemed to be a fast developing signal between the two of us. We never really agreed on it, but it just sort of happened over time.

He answered the door wearing one of his Blur t-shirts and black skinny jeans, obviously having recently got changed from his church duties. Although I didn't have long to take in his outfit choice before he was pulling me inside and closing the door with a quick gesture, eager to shut out the outside world.

"Where were you today?" He jumped straight to the point, looking overly concerned "Isabel and James wouldn't really say, and when i tried to corner Ray he just said you'd left and then walked off" by this point his hands were on my shoulders and his eyes were wide.

"Yeah" I sighed, drawing out the word as I tried to think of the best way to sum up my current situation "That's kind of what I was going to tell you. They er, disowned me I guess." 

"Disowned?" 

"Well, kicked me out." 

"What?" He cried "Why the hell did they.... Frank, what did you do?" His tone was less accusing and more nervous as to find out what exactly I could've done to finally tip them over the edge "oh shit, they don't know anything about us do they? Did Ray tell them? Did they find out from-" 

"Gerard, shut up" he immediately stopped, but the worry in his features continued to show "Look, they don't know anything about us, ok? We're fine." 

"Then what-" 

"They found the drugs in my bag and then they kicked me out of the house for it. Really, I wasn't expecting any less from them. It's not a big deal, honestly." He relaxed his grip on me, but still held on. 

"Oh shit, where are you staying? You should've come here. I can't believe they just threw you out without even a place to go, that's so fucking low." 

"It's fine, it's not like I ever really gave them a chance to like me before I pissed them off. I'd been expecting this at some point" it always happens at some point, my mind went to add, but I stopped myself, determined not to jinx any situations. "And I'm staying with Kellin. He's got a big place and he doesn't mind, it's ideal really." 

"You sure? Because you can stay here if you like. We could be careful and-" I cut him off before he got carried away and ended up convincing me too. 

"You know i'd love to, but we can't afford to take that risk right now Gee. If anyone found out, and believe me they would if we lived together, then they wouldn't just start asking questions - they'd make full blow assumptions before we even got a chance to explain ourselves."

"You're right" he sighed, running his thumb over my collarbone "I just hate this waiting I guess. So much shit happens and I feel like I can't help with anything because of the damn law. I just have to sit here and watch you deal with it all, and any sort of help would just make people suspicious." 

"It sucks" i agreed "But it won't last forever. And I can take care of myself, you know." 

"I know you can, but just because you're capable of taking care of yourself doesn't mean you shouldn't get help too" He laughed a little then "Sorry, i'm getting corny." 

"I like it when you're corny" I admitted, biting my lip and watching him groan "I also like it when you're horny like that." 

"Are you trying to change the subject?" he raised an eyebrow and tried to avoid taking in the look I was now giving him "because you really need to stop that. Every time I try and talk seriously about helping you out you go and start giving me those bedroom eyes and expecting me -" 

I started kissing him then, slowly at first and then at a frantic pace that made him lose complete track of whatever it was he was going to say. I'm sure it would've been beautiful and poetic, and no doubt inspired me, but in a way so did kissing him like that, as I pinned him against the wall and let our kisses merge together into a singular hot mess. 

His hands slid down my sides, making me shiver against him and try to suppress a groan as he started to rub at my hipbones, right between my jeans and t-shirt. It was as i moaned against his lips that he broke away, starting to kiss down my neck and along my collarbone, giggling slightly as I wriggled beneath him under the pressure.

"Keep still" he chuckled, fingers nimbly working on my belt. 

"W-what are you..." I trailed off when I felt his hands reach down and wrap around me, completely shutting off any train of thought and replacing it with that animalistic instinct. 

"Returning favours" he winked at me, and before I knew it he was sinking to his knees, right in his living room, and wrapping his lips around my dick with perfect ease, as if it was some sort of casual affair. And I guess in some ways that was almost what it was becoming between us. Not that it made it any less amazing when he went down on me, sucking and licking and downright choking until I was gasping, clutching at his hair in fistfuls of desperation. 

"Fucking hell" I groaned, thrusting my hips into his mouth and feeling wave after wave crash over me when i hit the back of his mouth and heard him gag a little. "Such a fucking pretty mouth..." I wanted to go on, but I felt lost for words when he started to rub against my balls with his other hand, making me squirm like putty in his hands.

it was when he looked up at me with his fucking doe-like innocent eyes that i finally came, watching him splutter and swallow quickly before pulling away. He ran the back of his hand along his mouth, wiping away any excess and breathing heavily. 

"Thanks" I too tried to regain my breath, watching him pull himself to his feet as I struggled not to let my knees buckle myself. "And not just for sucking me off either. Thanks for always being there, I mean." 

"And you call me the corny one" he rolled his eyes, but still took my hands a moment later, giving me one of those smiles that made me feel like everything would be okay so long as he was with me. Of course, that was one of the problems right then, but in that moment it didn't matter, because the outside world was secondary. 

_______________________________________________________________________


	3. 3

Chapter Three

By the time I made it home from Gerard's Vic had already left Kellin's, so it was just the two of us eating stir fried noodles and watching crappy TV that night. Luckily as it was late July, we didn't have college in the morning. This meant we could binge on netflix all we liked without the guilt setting in, meaning it was gone 1am when we turned off the screen and headed to bed.

It was comforting to feel so welcomed there though, like I was some sort of brother to Kellin who had every right to live there. He certainly made me feel that way anyway, or perhaps that was just his naturally good hosting skills. After all, i'd never met someone so willing to host so many parties round his house with so few invites in return (these days parents weren't exactly lenient on the whole house party scene.)

Nonetheless I was grateful, and made sure he knew it by thanking him probably a little too much.

"Shut up Frank" he'd rolled his eyes at one point, as the two of us stood at the top of the stairs "I like having you around, ok? Just quit with the constant thank you's though, I get it."

"Sorry" I couldn't help but laugh a little at myself and the way that I was probably just going to piss him off at the rate I was going.

"Just get some sleep and stop acting like I saved your life or something" He turned and headed in the direction of his own bedroom, and already I could feel a routine or sorts slipping into place. A domestic one, where we were both already getting accustomed and comfortable with living with each other. It was starting to seem more natural to be heading into that spare bedroom, like it could be my own in time.

***

I slept perfectly that night, and by the time I woke up the next day, I even felt more rested than normal. Perhaps it was just the shock of the change setting though. Although the familiarity of my phone ringing piercing my ears certainly brought me back to reality.

With a groan I rolled over and looked down at the screen through glazed eyes, which foucsed immediatley when they saw Ian's caller ID on the screen, glaring up at me like the foreboding sign it had come to be.

I quickly answered, not wanting to anger him, and leaning back against the bed with the phone pressed tightly to my ear, volume turned down low so that Kellin wouldn't overhear too much. As much as he already knew about the drug drops, i'd still rather keep him in the dark when it came to exactly what my plans were.

"What?" I groaned, my tone of voice similar to a small child being summoned to do it's chores as opposed to the drug dealing that I was actually being faced with. Maybe if i had been more awake I would've started with a 'hello', but at that point I really couldn't be asked with the formalities.

"Quit moaning Iero" came his sharp reply, making me open my eyes properly and prop myself up on one elbow.

"Sorry, what is it?"

"A... Delivery... Has been made at Dewees house and I need you to go pick it up. I've got a client on the other side of town that wants it brought to his house this time."

"I thought I was just doing drops, not actually delivering the stuff door to door" I tried to keep the groan of protest out of my voice, but a bit slipped through.

"You'll do whatever I damn well tell you to" he immediately snapped back "and you'll do it as soon as I say. Unless you fancy the alternative?"

"Fine" I didn't even want to hear what he'd do if I didn't comply. I'd seen enough of his violent side to last me a lifetime. "Where does this guy live?"

"I left the address with Dewees, he'll give it to you when you get round there. And I expect you to be round there within the hour. This client doesn't like to wait, nor do I like to chase after you with orders. So make it fast." Each word was more threatening than the last, and all I could do was listen and try to think of the quickest way to Dewees house.

"Okay" i would have to shower later and just stick with throwing on a new t-shirt with yesterday's jeans. It would be worth it in the end if it meant just getting this over with.

"Don't be late" he hung up then, and I momentarily paused, enjoying the last few seconds of comfort that my bed offered me. Then I pulled myself together and threw the duvet to one side before I could become even more tempted to just curl back up underneath it, and rolled out of bed.

It didn't take long to shove on some clothes and grab my bag. In fact, by the time I got downstairs and grabbed some toast Kellin was still asleep. This was even more ideal as I didn't even need to make any sort of excuse about where I was going and instead I could just simply walk out the door.

Summer was in full swing by this point, and it was actually pretty hot outside. The sun beat down on my head as I walked along the pavement, causing me to curse my dark hair for being so heat absorbent. It kept getting in my eyes with every step I took, so I made a note to myself to cut it later.

I kept trying to distract myself from the task at hand with these trivial thoughts, from the weather to my hair and then about how Kellin had mentioned having a get together with a whole crowd of our friends that evening. Anything to stop me from thinking about the fact that I was basically dealing these damn drugs out. And all because I didn't want to have to leave Gerard.

The walk to Dewees house was too long for my liking. There's only so many little, trivial things you can occupy your mind with before it inevitably drifts back to the problems at hand. And in my case there was plenty to choose from.

So I guess I was partly relieved when I turned up on his doorstep, finally about to distract myself with some human interaction. Of course, i wasn't exactly expecting much in the way of an intelligent conversation when it came to James Dewees, as I already knew just how much he loved to get stoned. Today was no exception, as I immediately gathered when he opened the door with a glazed expression, leaning to one side as he took me in with a dopey smile.

"Frank!" He all but slurred "come on in, come on in" I quickly found myself being pulled inside and shoved lightly in the direction of the lounge.

"Stoned again Dewees?" I just sighed as I watched him stumble around.

"Something like that" my question was dismissed with a flick of the wrist "anyways, what can I get you? Coffee? Beer? Something stronger?" Right at that moment I didn't trust him with a glass of water, let alone alcohol, so I shook my head.

"No thanks, I'm running on a tight schedule. I just need the delivery and the address." A confused look took over his face, and I watched as he stood still for a moment and pondered my request.

"Delivery... Under the stairs, yes, that's the one" he quickly hurried off towards the stairs, and I waited for a moment before he returned with a package. "There you go!" This package was then shoved into my hands with a little too much enthusiasm.

"And the address?"

"The address..." His features tightened a he though "Ian left the address... For that greasy haired guy who lives above the chip shop... What was his name again..."

"I just need the address, I'm really not bothered about the name" I urged him to speed up "where did he leave it?"

"Um... Ah! Here!" He pulled out a crumpled yellow post it note from his pocket and handed it over "knew it was around here somewhere. Say, do you want a drink?"

"You already asked me that."

"Oh. Yeah."

I glanced around the place, seeing how messy it had become. I doubted anyone else visited except for me and Ians men. This seemed to cause a wave of sympathy to wash over me, as I found myself reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Look Dewees, I have to go deliver this, but I'll come back sooner next time yeah?"

"Sure thing" he nodded distractedly.

"And please try and take care of yourself in the meantime?" I strained, desperately hoping he would at least listen to me "go easy on the drugs and booze and just be healthy yeah?"

"Since when did you get so boring?" He scoffed "look at yourself Iero. You're not exactly the picture of health and prospect yourself."

"I know" I admitted "I'm not saying I'm a role model. I'm just saying that I don't want to see you go to shit."

"Look at us Frank" he sighed "we passed the point of hope the moment we became involved in this." 

**** 

I worried about Dewees the whole way across town, which I guess could be counted as an improvement on worrying about my own problems.

I knew that his addiction would be hard to kick, but that made me want to encourage him even more. He was a decent guy and didn't deserve to have his life fucked over like this. It was bad enough for him to be involved with Ian, let alone being supplied by him.

I took a bus to the other side of town, so it didn't take me long to reach my destination. This address lead me to a rather rough council estate. Not that I was one to judge people on their living quarters, especially as I was currently a friends bedroom away from being homeless myself, but in just didn't feel safe as I took the stairs up one block of flats.

I finally found the right flat, all of five floors up, and even then I had to wait a good few minutes after I knocked before the door was opened.

At first the guy only partially opened the door, giving me a view of only half of his face. His eyes were bloodshot and his black hair hung in greasy locks to just above his shoulders. Although it was kind I hard to tell exactly where his hair ended and his black hoodie began, especially in that lighting.

"Hey" his expression was guarded "who sent you?"

"Ian."

"You that kid... Er, Eye-o something...?" He struggled.

"Iero" I automatically corrected for what must have been the billionth time in my short life.

"Ah! That's the one!" As recognition dawned across his face, he opened the door wider, letting me see his full face. "You best come in."

I stepped tentatively into his hallway as the door clicked shut behind me, and glanced around at the messy apartment. There wasn't much to see really - a sofa, old TV, kitchenette, that sort of thing. Everything looked a little old and patchy, but it was an alright place to live I guess.

"Just chuck it down on the table" he nodded towards the little coffee table that sat in front of the TV, which was currently occupied by old takeaway boxes.

I did as he said and placed the bag down, wearily keeping note of where and how he was stood.

"You seem pretty young to be doing this" he noted, lighting a cigarette before offering me one. "Here, you look like you need to relax a bit."

"Oh, thanks" I took the stick but decided to use my own lighter. We both stood there for a moment, each inhaling, before he spoke again.

"So go on and tell me then Iero, how old are you?"

"I'll be Eighteen on Halloween" I figured I might as well be truthful here.

"Jesus, you're even younger than I thought you were" he raised his eyebrows "fuck, how the hell did a seventeen year old get involved with Ian?"

"It's complicated" I shrugged, hoping to leave it at that.

"Oh go on, I like a good story" he teased, falling back onto the sofa. "Go on! Sit down!" He pointed at the armchair next to me "I won't hurt 'ya."

"You never even told me your name" I frowned, but sat down anyway. He was a charismatic person, I'd give him that, making me feel instantly relaxed in his home despite the situation I was in.

"Bert McCracken" he grinned "and you?"

"Frank Iero."

"Well at least the first name is somewhat pronounceable, huh?" He have a wink before taking another drag "go on then Frank, what the hell have you done to deserve to be the one bringing me my fix?"

"Well I kind of came across one of Ian's drug drops by accident, and he saw me..." I took a drag "and I managed to get away, but well, he found me eventually."

"You sound like you're lucky to be alive" he hummed "so let me guess, you run all his errands for him and then he let's you keep breathing?"

"Something like that" I nodded, having already nearly finished the cigarette he gave me. "I guess I'm suppose to be grateful or something."

"Probably" he chuckled "what I wanna know is what the hell are you still doing sticking around? You got family or something?"

"Not anymore."

"Ah. Now that I can identify with" this time his laugh was darker "you got some sort of house or something? Or are you relying on Ian for that too?"

"I'm staying with a friend." I figured it was best to leave any details about Kellin or his house out of it, so was glad when he quickly moved on with a small nod.

"So no family to tie you down, no house, no job prospects... What's keeping you then?" His eyes narrowed "wait, I bet it's a girl. You got some sort of sweetheart you don't wanna leave behind?"

"It's a guy actually" I don't know why I let the words slip, but there they were. I sort of froze for a second, wondering why the hell I let that slip. I mean, I didn't exactly like to yell about my sexuality from the rooftops as it was, but here I was confessing it to a guy I had met all of ten minutes ago. And maybe it would've been ok if I all I was admitting to was being gay, as it was probably noticeable anyway, but I had also admitted that I was seeing someone.

"Ah, I didn't realise you were gay" he cried, acting as if I'd just announced the fact we were long lost brothers "then again, all the best ones are, aren't they?" The way he winked at the end left no doubt in my mind that he was too.

I felt an uncomfortable urge to leave wash over me at that point, and it seemed to clash drastically with the comforting mood that he had been giving off beforehand.

The room seemed smaller somehow, and perhaps dirtier.

Bert must have sensed my sudden unease, as he frowned.

"What is it?"

"I, er. I really need to get going" I rushed, hoping desperately that he'd act as pleasant on my departure as he did on my arrival.

"If you're sure" he seemed disappointed to see me go "you'll have to come again soon though and finish telling me about this boyfriend of yours. He must be something special if you're sticking around for him." There was an edge to his voice, something I just couldn't quite figure out.

"Er, yeah" I rushed, desperate to just leave already "sure thing."

He watched me grab my bag and leave without saying any more, but just with a small nod followed by a simple smile.

I don't quite know why I felt suddenly shaken up by him. Probably because it was so out of character for me to spill a secret so easily. Normally nobody could extract any sort of information from me, but Bert had read me like an open book.

And my life was certainly not some sort of novel I wanted anyone but myself to read.

I shook my head and tried to push these thoughts away, deciding that the sooner I forgot about Bert McCracken, the better. 

****

Hey guys I'm SO SORRY that this took so long. I'm such a bad procrastinator, plus I've been on holiday this past week.

Hope you're all good and that you enjoyed this :)

((Good vibes))

~ Headfirst for Helena


	4. 4

Just a quick note: I see a lot of comments about the legal age for Frank to be having sex with Gerard, as in the UK normally it would be 16, but because Gerard is a priest he's in a position of trust so he would deffo still be in trouble with the law

Four

The next day Kellin decided not only to finally tidy the living room, but to invite our whole gang of friends over. Now don't get me wrong, I was more than happy with this as I hadn't seen them all in a few days and was eager for a distraction, but I was also weary of all the lying I would have to do in the process.

I mean, they'd all want explanations, and I was going to have to convince them all, even Jimmy and Lindsey, who had both been know to outsmart me in the past. I had Kellin on my side though, and he was more than willing to help back up my lie when I asked him.

"Well I'm hardly going to tell them the truth, am I?" he chuckled when I asked him, halfway through stacking his playstation games into a neat pile "after all, they're coming to hang out, not hang you."

"Don't be so melodramatic" i rolled my eyes at him, despite the fact his back was turned "anyway, what time are they all getting here?"

"I dunno, in about twenty minutes I guess" he shrugged "plenty of time for you to come up with something convincing."

"Well thanks for your overwhelming help" i rolled my eyes as he continued to tidy without so much as a glance in my direction, completely unfazed by the thought of having to try and sound convincing. If only I had the same confidence.

"Oh come on, you must be a pro when it comes to lying by this point!" he exclaimed "you tell them every bloody day, what's the big deal here?"

"Because these are my friends, and they're smart. I don't want them to distrust me, especially when it comes to a big issue like why i'm suddenly living with you. They'll want a full explanation, and if we don't go over this properly then they'll suspect something."

"So go over it" he shrugged "I'll start - your uncle caught you trying to do some more tagging and flipped his switch."

"We'll say it was in the alleyway behind our house, there's some remnants of graffiti back there that i could claim was the start of a piece he interrupted" I added, already having plotted the exact spot out in my mind.

"Sure thing" he continued "So anyway, you two have this massive row, you end up storming out and coming here, and they decided they don't want you back anymore. So now you're stuck with me" He batted away my worries "seriously Frank, we all know your aunt and uncle are complete dickheads. Nobody will question your story. If anything they'll just be glad you're out of there and now living somewhere that you can actually be happy about."

"And what makes you so sure of that?" I joined in, feeling more relaxed with each reassuring comment he threw at me.

"Because I was born to entertain" he winked "plus let's be honest, who else has a spare bedroom and parents that only come home every other weekend?"

"Are you sure they're ok with this?"

"Of course!" he hurried "To be honest, i think they're glad i have some company. I guess the guilt of leaving me used to get to them a little, but now thanks to you then can stay away in the peace that even if i do burn down this place, I won't be sweeping up the ashes alone."

"Technically you've got a boyfriend too" i pointed out "Do they even know about Vic yet?"

"Me and my parents... we never really have much in the way of emotional conversations' he shrugged it off "I mean, they care and all, and they're not homophobic. I came out to them years back and then were fine with it all as long as it made me happy..."

"But they don't ask after you?"

"Well, they ask about how i'm doing I guess" he sighed, giving me his full attention now "it's just that we're not close enough for me to feel like talking about Vic. He's a topic that's i'm pretty sensitive and private about, and i just don't feel like i wanna share much of it with them, you know?"

"Trust me, if anyone knows about feeling distanced from relatives then it's me" i sighed "But you should try talking to them anyway you know. I know you may not want to, but if you can salvage anything then it's worth a shot."

"I don't know man, i guess you have a point, but i can't force a connection that simply isn't there" he continued to write them off as a lost cause "sometimes you've just gotta make your own family in life, right? Like you have." He turned back to his tidying then, drawing our in depth conversation to a close, but not without giving me plenty to think about.

He was right. I had created my own family. In a weird, messy way. I had Gerard to love, Kellin to live with and my friends to care for. It was dysfunctional to say the least, but i felt happier like this than i'd ever felt with my blood relatives.

**

"So then Kitty grabs the sandwich and hits this guy round the head with it" Steve continued on with his elaborate story from the past, involving Kitty and a guy at the bakery where she'd worked the previous summer "Before teling him exactly where he can shove his complaint."

"Shh" Kitty waved her hand at him in protest "Will you ever let that one go?"

"Nope" He grinned "And that's just the start of it."

We were all congregated in Kellin's living room; some of us on the sofas, some on beanbags and some propped up by cushions on the floor. Doritoes were being passed around amongst everyone as the group filled me in on the classic stories i'd missed out on before i met them all.

"It's an educational history of our group" Chantal had declared "These things need to be known if you're ever going to truly get all of our inside jokes. And trust me, there's a lot of them to catch up on."

"Years worth of the stuff" Jimmy agreed through a mouthful of food "but don't worry, once we're done with you there will be no embarrassing encounter left untold!"

And so they had begun to tell me take after tale, each one making us all laugh harder than the last. It was the ideal distraction that I had been looking for: one that made me truly appreciate my friends whilst being able to relax away from all my problems.

Even better still, they seemed to have all bought my story on how I had come to be living with Kellin. Of course, they were all disgusted with my uncle and aunt, agreeing that they were complete pricks, but no complicated questions were raised about the whole thing, so I was pleasantly relieved.

"Enough about me, how come we aren't telling him about any of the Steve stories?" Kitty's smile took on a malicious edge as she purposely turned the conversation to him "Like the time he got head stuck in the school railings." 

"Or when he got so drunk at prom that he tried to snog the biology teacher!" Jimmy yelled out with what could only be described as a cackle. 

"To be fair, she was pretty hot" Oli commented "And i genuinely think she kissed you back for a moment there Steve. Well, right before she remembered where she was and how her boss was around somewhere, then she pushed you away." 

"I wasn't even all that drunk" Steve admitted "I mean, drunk enough to have the courage to do it, but they were sober thoughts a long time before that." 

"Come on guys let's think of some more embarrassing ones, we don't need to hear about Steve playing tonsil tennis with one of my favourite teachers" Chantal shuddered against Jimmy's side. "Or at least wait until i've had a bit more to drink." 

"You better get started on the vodka then" Kellin chuckled "because i'm about to tell the one about Oli and the headmaster's daughter." 

***

"Come tagging with me?" Lynz all but begged me as the others began to leave. We'd all been messing around at Kellin's for hours now, but I got the feeling she was reluctant to have to return home "it doesn't have to be anything big, somewhere that you won't be caught. I just really need to let it all out." 

"Jeez Linds, I dunno-" I was cut short by the big-eyed begging stare she was giving me, looking like a lost puppy. And if there was one thing i was a complete sucker for, then it was puppies. 

"Please?" 

"Okay fine" i surrendered, immediately being embraced in a tight hug for doing so "but nothing too extravagant ok?" 

"Sure thing!" She all but hopped towards the door, now officially the last one to leave (Chantal and Jimmy were disappearing up the driveway as we spoke) whilst Kellin was tidying up in the living room. "I just really need to let off some steam." 

"trust me, I understand" I turned back towards the lounge and yelled at Kellin "Me and Linds are just heading out to do some tagging, i'll be back in an hour or so, kay?" 

"sure thing!" Came his quick reply, and before I knew it I was being dragged out the door. 

**

"What does Ray think of it all?" Lynz asked out of the blue. We were both standing on a council estate, what had once been a bare wall in front of us. Both of us held spray cans in our hands, with paint-coated fingers and a wall of art displayed right for our own private viewing directly in front of us. We'd done some simple drawings really, silhouettes of people reaching out, mixing in bright coloured backgrounds and the occasional detail.

It was our type of therapy, and a highly effective one at that. 

That's why I was surprised when she brought up one of the things we'd come to avoid. Not that I really minded though, as I knew she was just being caring and wanting to make sure that at least one member of my family still liked me. 

"Honestly? I don't know. There wasn't much chance to talk" I tried to shrug it off, but the way she stood there with her all-knowing gaze made me want to open up further "He er, didn't exactly make much of an effort to say goodbye when i was leaving though. I'm just worried he'll take his parents side in all of this. I know he's not like that, but then again he is my family, and they don't have the best record when it comes to putting up with me." 

"Not that you make it easy for them" She sighed "but yes, they do tend to abandon ship don't they? Ray doesn't seem like that though - he cares about you, even if the rest of them don't."

"Do you think I should try talking to him?" 

"Definitely" She leaned forward and added one final line to her drawing before handing me back the spray can, which i quickly shoved into the depths of my bag. "You need to make an effort with him here if you want this to work out." 

"I guess so." 

"Whilst we're in the middle of this heart to heart, are you going to tell me why you really got kicked out?" I must have looked alarmed as she rolled her dark eyes in amusement "What? Did you think I bought the tagging story? Come on Frank, they couldn't have cared less about your tagging, as long as you didn't get arrested again that is. Plus you've been acting weird for ages, and truth be told i'm worried about you." 

We were walking back through the estate now, and her tone had become serious. 

"It's a long story" I finally said, after a good few moments of deliberation as to what exactly i should admit to "and well, it's illegal at the best of times." 

"All the interesting stuff is" she shrugged "go on, tell me. What did you do this time?" 

"They found weed in my room." That made her slow down her pace, staring at me with raised eyebrows. 

"Weed? Seriously Frank? Haven't you seen what a mess Dewees has become recently because of that stuff? And keeping it in your aunt and uncle's house too, were you completely mad? That was never going to work out well. Who the hell is even dealing it to you anyway?" She babbled on, and I just let her get it out of her system before I even attempted to interrupt. 

"It wasn't for me." 

"Oh sure it wasn't" She laughed, but stopped upon seeing my serious expression "Well what the hell do you mean it wasn't for you? Did you want to grow a pretty plant or something?" 

"Piss off" I rolled my eyes "you have to at least take me seriously here." 

"Right, sure thing" she nodded "So, who was it for?" 

"You're going to hate me for this, but I really can't say" She gave me one of those are-you-fucking-kidding-me looks that she did so well, one eyebrow arched with her arms folded across her chest in a powerful pose. 

"Yes you fucking can Iero. Whatever this shit it, I don't care who's involved, I want to know." 

"It's -" 

"Hey! Frank!" I was cut off by the sound of one voice I really didn't want to hear. Not that I had anything against Bert McCracken, but his background didn't exactly place him at the top of my friend list. I already had my hands full with Dewees without adding another gay drug addict with a bit too much for charisma for his own good. 

"Fuck" I hissed, but it was too late. 

"What? Who's that?" Lynz asked, but by this point Bert was already standing up from where he'd been sitting on a bench, stretching his back like a cat before sauntering over to us, like he didn't have a care in the world. 

_________________________________________________________


	5. 5

Chapter Five

"Well?" Lynz asked me again as Bert drew closer, a grin etched onto his features. "Who is he?" 

"Does she mean to say that you haven't been talking about me Iero?" Bert faked a sad sigh "wow, and just when I thought we had something special going on, huh?" 

"Wait what?" Lynz was really confused now, glancing between bert and I with a rapid gaze and an even faster thought process "have you two got something going on? Who is this? Frank." Her voice almost became whiny near the end out of her pure desperation to be let into the silent conversation me and Bert seemed to be having, as he tried to suss out exactly how much she knew. 

"Lynz, this is Bert McCracken" I offered in a shitty way of explanation. "And no, there's nothing going on between us. I mean, Bert's gay but that doesn't mean-" 

"Bi, actually" he sent a wink at Lynz as he spoke, and if I wasn't so preoccupied with the other more pressing issues i probably would've worried about this flirty gesture more "always good, getting the best of both worlds, y'know?" 

"Erm, that's great and all, but how do you know Frank? Unless you guys have some sort of top secret all-gay club that i'm yet to find out about?" she raised an eyebrow as he barked out a laugh. 

"I guess you'll never know, huh?" He turned to me "why don't you two come for a coffee? I haven't spoken to anyone in over a day and i was suppose to be working on the whole 'social life' situation."

"And how's that going for you?" 

"You count as a friend right?" He grimaced "I mean, I know you didn't want to be here but you bummed a smoke and that to me counts. And you're about to get a free coffee off me too if you hurry up with it." 

Lynz turned to me "shall we?" She seemed curious about Bert, and I figured it would be far better to discuss this in the flat rather than the street, so I found myself nodding my head sharply and watching as Bert grinned at us both. 

"Great! Come on up!" And with that he started to lead us towards the block of flats, remaining a good few paces ahead as he did so. He was at a distance where if he really strained his ears he could probably still hear our conversation, but far enough away that it didn't really look suspicious that he was doing so. 

"You've got about two minutes so you better talk damn fast" She snapped as we headed towards the block. 

"ok fine" I gave in "you know Dewees?" 

"Yeah..." 

"Well I walked in on a drug exchange between him and his dealer, and ever since i've been roped into this guy's gang of sorts." I looked over at her, and she seemed to be having a small dialemma over wether to take me seriously or not. 

"You mean you're in some sort of drug gang now?" When i looked sheepishly at my feet she gave out a groan "jesus christ Frank, you sure don't do things half heartedly do you?" 

"it's not like I had a choice!" I hissed "either i joined them or they were going to deal with me, and i think a few drugs deals here and there and worth it if it means I get to actually see my eighteenth birthday." 

"Wait so you're dealing it out? Is that what you meant about your uncle and aunt finding the weed?" i nodded once "And you're dealing it to this guy?" she jabbed a thumb in Bert's direction. 

"I only dealed to him once" I rushed "I mean, I literally met Bert the other day. He's the only decent person i've met in this business." 

"Well I hope you weren't expecting for them to all be lovely co-workers" she rolled her eyes "why the hell haven't you gone to the police about all of this?" 

"Oh yeah because the police are really going to take my side" I brushed it off "look at me Lynz, with a record like mine i'll be packed off to juvie in no time. Why, i'd be lucky if I even got to see you guys again." 

"I guess" She sighed "I just... It's a lot to take in." Probably best to not mention the fact that i was also fucking the local priest then. 

"Trust me, I know" by this point we were already climbing up the stairs, Bert now a little further ahead. No doubt he'd sussed that we were just talking about what he already knew, and not actually about anything of particular interest to him. "Bert seems alright though, I think I can trust him" i admitted. 

"Well I should bloody hope so seeing as we're going to his flat right now" She quickened her pace "Look, we're going to have a proper conversation about this another time when he can't eavesdrop ok?" 

"Agreed." 

"But right now we're going to go get coffee with this Bert guy, and as much as i've never really been one for giving a shit what other people think, i'd still rather we didn't have too deep a conversation in front of him." 

"Lynz?" 

"Yes?" She turned to me as we reached the top of the stairs. 

"Please don't flirt with the pot-smoking greasy haired maniac" I all but begged, knowing my warnings would fall of deaf ears. 

"You literally cannot talk right now when it comes to getting involved with druggies" she shot back, instantly shutting me up. "Now come on." 

***

"You like The Cure too?" I heard Lynz ask Bert from the other side of the room, where she was currently kneeling on the floor, flicking through his record collection. "Oh god, and you have Iron Maiden too. Man, i'm jealous." 

"You can borrow some if you like" Bert took a drag of his cigarette and let the ashes flick onto the carpet with little regard for any sort of safety. I, meanwhile, sat on the sofa and tried nto to think about how much of a third wheel i felt like right at the moment. 

I had to hand it to them both, when I had pictured them meeting, I'd imagined Lynz to punch him in the face, not flirt with the goddam guy. But here we were, and I couldn't help but wish she had slightly better taste than a guy who probably hadn't had a haircut since Christmas. Then again, Lynz was never conventional about anything, so i shouldn't have expected anything different when it came to her taste in men. 

"You mean that?" She clutched a vinyl to her chest "i'd bring it back in perfect condition, I promise." 

"Sure, go for it' he shrugged "if it brings you back here then i'm not objecting." 

"Ok" I'd had enough by that point "I think i'm going to make a move. You coming Linds?" She hesitated, still holding onto the stack of records with one hand. 

"Yeah, I probably should' She eventually nodded, probably figuring that it was best to get out of that particular estate accompanied. "I'll bring this back in a couple of days though" She added to Bert "and er, maybe bring some of my own records too that we could listen to?" 

"Yeah! Definitely!" I heard him enthuse, but by this point I was already halfway out the door.

**

I all but marched into Gerard's front room that evening, completely unannounced and completely uncaring of whatever I was interrupting. 

Unfortunately for me, Gerard was actually on the phone, listening intently and muttering in agreement every minute or so. He turned, surprised to see me, and let his features break out into a brief welcoming smile before turning back to the matter at hand. There was a brief gesture towards the sofa from him as he obviously tried to wind down his conversation. 

I took up the suggestion, lying back onto the leather and resting my feet on the armrest as I watched him move around, his usual jeans fitting him a little too tightly to do my teenage hormones any good. Of course, I wasn't complaining. 

"Well I was thinking we'd go over those plans in the meeting tomorrow.." he continued, glancing distracted over at me. I guess I got bored of waiting. That and the fact that I loved to wind him up, because that was when I decided to bite my lip, letting my eyes trail down to his crotch. He gulped and turned away again, but not before I saw the horny expresson flash across his face that I knew so well. 

I got up off the sofa and walked over to where he was standing, still trying his best to maintain a normal conversation. 

"Of course" he spoke in a sincere tone, but the moment he felt my hands on his hips, he instantly sparked up. "Yes, that sounds like a plan-" He had to cut himself off in order to suppress a groan at that point, as that was the moment I decided to grind gradually against his lower back, moving my head into the crook of his neck as I did so. 

He still tried to wrap up the conversation, but with laboured breathing this time. 

"I agree" I didn't even let him finish speaking before i slipped my hand down the front of his jeans and started to stroke him through his boxers, grinning to myself when I felt him start to get hard. "I hate to interrupt you Bishop, but is it possible if I phone you back later?" He finally caved "yeah, i've got to drive at the moment you see. yes, of course. Ok, goodbye." 

He finally hung up the phone and dropped it into his bag, before leaning back into my arms a bit more and bucking his hips so I could get a better grip around his dick, my hand now gently rubbing it in a way that drove him crazy. 

"I was on the phone to the bishop Frank. The fucking bishop, and you're here trying to jack me off" he certainly didn't object though, despite his despair of the situation, and instead groaned a little as I bit gently on the inside of his neck. 

"Fuck the bishop, I've missed you" I grunted in response, letting him turn around and face me properly. 

"I've missed you too" he grinned, and then he was kissing me. My face was in his hands, and oh god did it feel good to be there like that, with his lips moulding themselves against mine in their perfect manner. 

It was a fierce kiss, one that had been a long time coming, all teeth and tongue and racing hands. It was only when he broke away, pupils dilated, that i realised just how horny i'd become in the last few minutes. 

"Get your clothes off" he growled, and I gulped slightly. 

"Certainly" I reached for my belt, but his hands suddenly stopped me. 

"That's not how you answer, remember?" He raised an eyebrow, and I think that was the point where every ounce of blood in my body rushed to my crotch. 

"Yes father Way" I gasped, and he revelled in his newly found kink. 

"You're a sinner, aren't you Frankie?" He continued, already pulling his own clothes off as he backed me towards the stairs. 

"Yes father" I pulled off my shirt. 

"And sinners, well they need to be punished" by this point his jeans were off too. "Especially the pretty boys like you" he reached forward and brushed my hair behind my ear with a devilish smirk "now get upstairs." 

We were getting pretty damn fast at the prepping now. 

Before I could really comprehend everything, we were both on his bed, completely naked, and I was smearing lube onto his erection, biting my lip as I did so. Both of us were already out of breath any we hadn't even started yet, but I guess that was just everything that had been building up those past few days.

"You ok?" He asked when i'd finished, pausing to look down at me. I nodded, too horny to really say much else, and with that he slammed into me. 

"Fuck" it was just as exciting as the first time we did it. Nothing could beat the feeling of my body stretching to accommodate him, and he slowly moved back and forth, but within minutes had picked up the pace to an fierce speed. 

"All day.." he panted "I was thinking about this.. what I wanted.... what I wanted to do to you..." 

"Is it as good as you imagined?" I asked between moans, jerking my hips up to meet his with each thrust. 

"Better" he moved deeper, hitting what was undoubtedly my prostate and making me yell out his name. "Oh shit, do that again" He gasped "it's so hot when you yell my name like that." 

"I didn't even have time to answer before he hit the spot again, making me cry out in pleasure. He quickly realised what he'd done and picked up the pace again, hitting it so many times that I couldn't help but come. 

I yelled his name as I did so, and this sent him toppling over the edge too. 

He pulled out and collapsed down beside me, both of us now a sweaty and euphoric mess, tangled between the sheets and grinning like idiots. 

"I fucking love you" He declared, snaking an arm around my waist and moving onto his side. I copied his movement and leaned forwards, kissing him softly this time. The urgency was gone, replaced by the mushy crap that often seemed to come after a good fuck. 

"I love you too, you soppy idiot" I sighed, enjoying the temporary heaven whilst it lasted. 

_____________________________________________________________________


	6. 6

Six

I accidentally ended up sleeping over at Gerard's that night.

After we'd had sex he made us both some dinner, which was followed by us watching crappy tv and listening to records for the rest of the evening. I'd been meaning to go back to Kellin's, but by the time it hit midnight one look at the black, damp night outside made me pull a face.

"Stay" Gerard had murmured, wrapping an arm around my waist as he rested his head on my shoulder "It's not like your friend would mind, and i haven't seen you in days..."

"Go on then" I had chuckled, pulling out my phone and sending a brief text to Kellin about how i was staying over at a friends. I quickly discarded the phone after that as i really couldn't be asked to deal with any texts from him asking who this mystery friend could be, figuring i could just figure out some sort of vague answer the next day. At least Kellin always seemed to know when to drop a subject and not press me for information, especially since he found out about Ian. Right then all my attention was far from that part of my life though, and focused on the part that was currently pulling me back towards the sofa, away from the window.

"Just switch off from all that crap" he mumbled, pulling me down onto the sofa so that i was party sitting on top of him "you're too stressed."

"Well it's kind of hard not to be" my tone came out a little more snappy that i had originally anticipated, which turned me instantly apologetic "Sorry, it's just hard to juggle everything at the moment. lynz and Bert hitting it off was the last thing i expected, and I really don't know what to make of it. Plus I still haven't spoken to Ray, and i think Kellin's getting suspicious at to where i keep disappearing off too-"

"Woah" He sat up a little more when my voice started to raise in pitch "it's ok, we can sort all of this shit out. You've just got to take it one thing at a time instead of letting it all pile up in your head."

"How?" I sighed in protest "I know you're trying to make me feel better, but i'm not blind, I can see what a mess this is all is and it's going to take more than a helping hand to fix it."

"Just hear me out" he was fully at up now, facing me directly "right, first problem, go."

"Where should I start?"

"Smallest problems first, working up to the biggest. Easier to tackle them that way and it gives me time to get into the swing of things" his answer was immediate, which reassured me further that perhaps he did have some sort of idea as to what he was talking about. I guess it was sort of his job to guide people and listen to all their problems. 

"Okay, I haven't spoken to Ray since I got kicked out of the house, and i'm worried he's mad at me about the drugs. Hell, I don't even know if he'll hear me out. I tried to call him the other day but it went to voicemail after two rings. Two rings, Gerard, that means he heard it, saw it and then hung up." It seemed a bit petty for Ray to be honest. I wish he'd drop the silent treatment act and start confronting me properly, or at least give me a chance. 

"Okay, we can work with this" he nodded with encouragement "look, all Ray knows is that you were caught with a whole bag of drugs on you, ok? He has no idea why and he probably thinks you were just getting high and spiralling towards another run in with the police. Don't you see Frank? He cares about you, that's why he's mad. He doesn't want you to screw up and get into trouble again, that's all." Having a family member that really cared about me seemed a bit of an alien concept, but it was definitely a nice change of routine. I really hoped Gerard was right, and that he'd be willing to listen. 

"But what do I tell him?"

"The truth" he put it bluntly "you were honest with him about us, and he kept that a secret. He's obviously trustable, and it seems like honestly really is your best option here. Just give him a shot at understanding you, and i promise it'll be okay."

"yeah, ok" I felt reassured by his words. He seemed to make everything seem so much simpler than it did in my head. He was right too - if I could trust Ray with the secret of me and Gerard, then I could trust him with anything "i'll try and talk to him tomorrow."

"Great. Ok, next problem." He seemed pleased that we'd already made progress, and sat up a little straighter, ready to face whatever problem I threw at him next. I guess he was used to it by now. 

"Kellin's going to start to wonder who my mystery friend is that i keep sneaking off to see. He'll want to know who you are, and I hate having to lie on the spot, especially when i'm being interrogated like i no doubt will be in the morning." I knew Kellin would probably recognise the signs that i'd got laid if I wasn't careful, which would mean even more acting around him. I felt especially bad to be lying to his face now that he was letting me live rent-free in his house too.

"Tell him" He shrugged, and then chuckled at my startled expression "Oh come on Frank, did you really think i'd stop you? Look, telling Ray was fine, eventually that is, and Kellin is already aware of the Ian situation, why not just tell him the full extent? He sounds like a nice guy and he'd get no personal gain from telling anyone. Do it." This was certainly a change from the Gerard i'd first met who was too scared to even kiss me - now he was willing to tell my friends about us. I have to admit, it made me so happy to know he wanted other people to know. 

"You're in a trusting mood tonight" i raised an eyebrow "Ray, Kellin, who should i tell next? Shall we call in at Brian's on the way and spread the good news? How about James and Isabel whilst we're at it?" I was teasing by this point, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Piss off, i'm trying to help you here."

"Sorry, I just like to imagine the look on father Schetcher's face when he realises how unholy you've been" I winked at the end, causing him to stiffen a little. If i wasn't mistaken, I could've sworn I saw him blush ever so slightly. 

"Back to the subject at hand" he briskly moved on, and I made a mental note of how that comment had effected him. "What else are you worried about?"

"Bert and Lynz."

"You can't help it if something happens between them, and trying to meddle in it will only make it worse, trust me. Besides, if Bert really likes her then it'll be fine. Surly Lynz can take care of herself?" He had a point to be fair, I'm pretty sure Lynz wasn't the sort of person you messed with, and if Bert did so then he'd soon regret it. All the same, she did feel like a sister to me sometimes, and now I was dragging her into my world. 

"Well yes, but I don't like her getting involved with those types of people. If something happened to her it would be all my fault for introducing them-"

"Frank, you can't talk about dangerous relationships, just look at us" He chuckled "we're the shining example of everything not to be. A priest and a seventeen year old, one of whom is closeted and the other currently dealing drugs." 

"I know I know" I frowned "I'm just worried about her."

"And that's sweet, but Lynz can look after herself, ok?"

"Ok." I gave a little nod, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders at his reassurance. 

"I think your other problems are kind of obvious" I gave a little nod as he spoke "And i'm afraid i can't really solve the problem that is this relationship right now, but come October and at least it will be legal. As for Ian, just stick this shit out for another three months and I promise we'll get out of here. We'll go somewhere that they'll never find you, and we can actually have a life together, ok?" He grabbed my hand as he spoke, filling me with the hope i'd been lacking for days.

"You mean that?" The idea of us running away and never looking back seemed more and more appealing by the minute. 

"A hundred percent" he nodded, biting his lip a little "now come on, come to bed and rest up for a bit. You look exhausted and i'm going to take care of you properly." 

***

I woke up the next morning to find Gerard still fast asleep in the bed next to me, an arm draped loosely over my side. I lay there for a moment, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed lightly, mouth slightly agape. I did however get bored of this quite quickly, and as much as watching Gerard sleep might appear romantic, my body was far more interested in the prospect of breakfast. So I slid out from under his grip and pulled on one of the many t-shirts he had flung over the end of his bed.

I headed downstairs and into the kitchen, fixing myself some toast and a coffee at a lazy pace. I knew it could be a while before Gerard woke up, so i took my breakfast into the lounge. I didn't really mean to be nosy, but i found myself drawn to the once-dining-table-now-art-station in the corner of the room.

There were pages upon pages of sketches, and at first i thought there were individual pieces of work, but on closer inspection I saw that they were in fact pages that made up a comic book.

I sat down and started to read though them, marvelling at how captivating and unique each character was, whilst picking up on Gerard's own traits in some of them. It was amazing, to say the least, and the further I read the more I saw what a talent he really did have for writing.

I felt bad on his behalf, seeing such a talent sidelined in favour of being a priest who preached to a congregation that contained my uncle and aunt, people who didn't appreciate the beauty of the expression in his tone as he talked or the way his eyes lit up when he became enthusiastic. He was like a bird trapped in a cage in that church. He should be free, sharing these comics with the world and being himself, the version of him that I got a feeling very few people had ever seen. 

"Hey" his voice made me jump and drop the page i was looking at as if it was burning hot. It wasn't that I was afraid, it was that I felt guilty for snooping when he hadn't given me permission to do so. This comic was obviously private, a work in progress with the potential to be huge if given the right chances.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to read it. Well, I did, but I shouldn't have" I rushed, standing up "I mean it was just too good to stop reading, you know? Otherwise i would've waited and-"

"Frank shut up" he chuckled, walking over to me and his comic "I don't mind you reading it. I mean obviously it's got a long way to go yet and is a massive work in progress, but it's not like I want to keep stuff from you anyway."

"It's amazing" i reassured him "Shit, you're so talented at this stuff. Why the hell aren't you pursuing it Gerard?"

"It's just kind of another dream I let get crushed" he sighed "I've started again recently though. I left this for months and months, but since I met you i've started working on it again and i'm actually really pleased with how it's coming along."

"Good, you can't let this stuff just go to waste on your desk Gee, not when it could be enjoyed by so many people. Art's twice as good when other people can see it and interpret it for themselves." He gave a small, knowing smile at that comment.

"Is that why you go tagging in public? So people can see your work without knowing the backstory?"

"I guess" truth be told there was a huge list of reasons why I liked to fill my days standing in alleyways with spray cans, on edge and ready to sprint for it at any second. "I just want to feel like someone would appreciate it I guess. Back in New Jersey, my friend Pete was about the only one who seemed to consider it art and not vandalism, so I was always looking for someone who might share my vision too."

"Well i've seen some of your art around the town, and it's far more than a bit of vandalism."

"How do you know it's mine?" I never put a signature on any of my works, it was only more evidence against me. That way even if I was caught doing one piece, there would be no proof to link me to any other works around town. 

"Please" he rolled his eyes at that "look around this area, can you see much artistic talent on the streets? It's damn obvious to distinguish your art from a random sign or logo scribbled onto a wall. Plus you've got quite a style going on. I like to keep an eye out for your stuff."It had never occurred to me that Gerard might have seen my street art. I don't know why, but I think because I only ever saw him at his house or the church I forgot he too went in and around town. Even then I didn't realise he'd be able to recognise my stuff, but I found it cute that he did. 

I gave a short laugh at that, one that was almost patronising.

"What?" he was immediately confused by the expression on my face.

"We're so alike when you narrow it down" I reached out and pulled him closer, wanting him to feel how close we were in that moment in a physical way too, and not just an emotional one "we're both trapped in society, too busy being unhappy to be able to let our art get the recognition it deserves."

"That'll change" he was quick to reassure me, as always. Except this time it we followed by him kissing me, and not softy either. It was a passionate kiss, and I loved every second of it. His hands moved from my waist to my hips and then again so that one of his palms was pressed against the small of my back, guiding my hips against his whilst the other tangled into my hair.

It took me a moment to respond, too busy concentrating on the way our tongues were moving together so perfectly. However my hand soon found it's way to his jean back pocket, where it pulled him closer still, letting our hips rub teasingly together.

"Fuck" he groaned against my lips "I have a million things to do today and yet I just want to ignore them all and do you all over again."

"Well then it's a good job one of us has some control, isn't it?" I teased, stepping back from him but keeping one hand on his shoulder "And as much as i'd love to fuck you again, I have a life to sort out, remember?"

"Fine" he frowned "but you better be back soon, and in better spirits. I don't like seeing you so stressed."

"Hopefully" I kissed him again, but briefly this time. "I'll see you later."

"Good luck with Ray and Kellin" He called after me as i pulled reluctantly backwards, picking up my coat from where it was discarded on the back of one of the chairs.

"Good luck with your day as a closeted gay priest working for the absolute asshole that is Brian Schetcher" I replied bluntly, making him giggle in that high pitched tone of his. "Seriously, smack that dickhead for me with a bible and i'll suck you off every single fucking day."

"Don't tempt me!" He yelled, but by that point I was already headed for the door. 

___________________________________


	7. 7

Seven

It took me about an hour or so to find Ray. I went as close to their house as I dared to go without being spotted, but soon saw his car wasn't there. That was certainly a relief, as I was dreading having to wait around for him to leave, or worse, see James. it was weird to see the house again actually, a place I had so openly despised for so long. Yet now it was forbidden it just seemed strange to be there. I guess it hadn't all been bad - practicing guitar in Ray's room had always been good, and Isabel's cooking was actually pretty good once she got onboard with the vegetarian dishes. I couldn't think of a single thing I liked about living with James though, so once I realised Ray wasn't there I happily left very quickly. 

I then headed into town looking for him - the park first, and then when that didn't work, the music store. Of course my judgement proved right, and as i walked into the shop I quickly caught sight of my cousin sitting behind the till with his friend that worked there. The hair was distinct enough to spot him across the room. 

He hadn't seen me, so I took my time making my way into the store as he and his friend chatted and laughed from behind the till, still oblivious to me. I hung back and waited for the customer they were serving to leave before I made my move, feeling a little more nervous that expected. Normally, I had no problem feeling like the outsider in situations, but right then my stomach was in knots wondering how he would react to me appearing at his work. 

It was strange to think that when I first arrived in England I hadn't given a shit about what my cousin thought of me. I'd just presumed he was like his parents; boring and rude and patronising. But here I was, ready to do anything to win back my friendship with him. I realised that I really did care about his opinion, just as I hoped he cared about me. After all, he was the only member of my family that I actually liked. 

"Ray?" I stepped forward, and immediately his head shot up in shock at seeing me. I don't think he really knew what to say or even do, as he sat there for a moment and just stared at me. His friend seemed pretty confused by the whole ordeal, not that I could really blame him. I wondered if Ray had mentioned me at all, I hoped he had. 

"Frank" he finally managed "what er, what do you want?" 

"To speak to you" I stated the obvious before turning to his friend. If he wasn't going to introduce me, I guessed i'd have to myself "hey, I'm Frank." 

"Ryan Ross" he smiled in a reserved manner that told me he was a polite guy, but pretty weary of me at the same time "I er, I know who you are." Okay, well at least Ray cared enough to talk about me I guessed. Although Ryan didn't really seem to be giving away any indication as to wether this was a good thing or not. Probably a mixture of the two given out turbulent relationship. 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, I mean, you're new here" he rushed "Not just because of the graffiti or the family stuff. I mean, Ray doesn't say much about that. He, well, what I mean is-"

"It's fine" I cut in "I really don't mind how much you know" i turned back to Ray, who had been watching the two of us talk with a guarded expression "So are we going to talk? because I really need a chance to explain everything to you Ray. What you saw the other day... I can explain... I will explain." 

"Fine" he threw his hands up "Ryan, i'll be back in a minute" he stood and made his way out from behind the counter, gesturing for me to follow him. We continued through to the back of the store, into the storage room that looked like it hadn't been organised since the turn of the millenium. It seemed that Ryan and Ray definitely spent more time sat behind the counter talking than they did actually doing their job. 

I took it upon myself to close the door, and turned to see him standing across the room from me, an expectant look on his face. The distance he'd placed between us told me I had my work cut out for me here.

"You better start talking."

I wasted no time in getting to the point, knowing I was lucky to get a chance to explain at all "I know it looked bad, but it honestly wasn't for me." 

"Who the hell was it for then?" he raised his eyebrows. I guess I couldn't really blame him for not believing me straight away after all the lies i'd spun previously. 

"I was holding it for someone. I had to deliver it, you see." 

"So now you're not just taking drugs, you're dealing them? Are you trying to make this sound even worse for yourself Frank?" He seemed exhausted with me already "I didn't even care that you were smoking weed anyway, it was the fact you were keeping more lies from me, and now I see that was only the start." That felt like a punch in the gut. I never wanted to keep anything from him. Hell, I only did so to try and keep him safe. 

"I'm not doing it by choice" that got him to shut up and listen "this guy's blackmailing me into it. They need people to deal for them, and I saw him dealing to Dewees so he threatened me, and well, here I am doing his dirty work." 

"Wait, Dewees is in on this?" I could see him piecing together the vague memories he probably had of the few times he'd bumped into Dewees. It wasn't like he was the sort of person Ray would really hang around, after all. 

"Yeah, they keep whole batches in his house. He hates it too, but he's on the stuff so he shuts up pretty quickly when they chuck him a bag." I made a note to include Dewees on my list of people to hunt down and talk to. I hoped his addiction hadn't got any worse since i'd seen him last time, as it was getting to a worrying point. 

"Fuck Frank, anything else you want to admit to whilst you're at it?" 

"No, that's it. Now you know everything, I swear" I could see his resolve crumbling as he uncrossed his arms and stood more casually, the hard look gone from his features. "Are we ok now? Because you're the only family I have left Ray, and I don't want to lose you too." 

"You're not going to lose me, you idiot" he smiled sadly "I'm just worried i'm going to lose you." 

"Piss off" I pulled him in for a hug then, feeling glad that there was at least one person in the world that I was actually proud to share DNA with. 

***

With Ray ticked off the list, I knew the next person to talk to was Kellin. Luckily he was easier to find, as all i needed to do was head back to what I guess was home now. It's weird how many places had become home in short space of time; first Jersey, then James and Isabel's, now Kellin's, and in a way Gerard's was feeling more and more like home to me too. It was all so fragmented, and I found myself wishing for the day when I can have one proper, happy place to call home. Hopefully somewhere far away from here, with Gerard by my side. 

It didn't really feel like home at Kellin's, and I didn't mean that in a negative way. Don't get me wrong, I loved staying at Kellin's house. It was a huge place, always stocked with food and always welcoming to me. Plus with his parents away we got the run of the place and I knew I'd never suffer any insults as long as i stayed. But no matter how long I stayed there, I still felt like it was just temporary. It wasn't like when I stayed at Gerard's and I felt like I could walk around in my boxers and leave coffee mugs scattered around the place without feeling guilty. 

Plus at Gerard's there was the danger of me walking in on Kellin and Vic making out in the kitchen like there was no tomorrow. 

"Hey" I coughed awkwardly from the doorway, causing them to spring apart in surprise. 

"Frank" Vic grinned in his effortless polite manner "sorry, we didn't hear you come in." 

"Evidently" I chuckled, making him go pink at the ears "Don't worry, you don't have to apologise for making out in your own home. Or, well, Kellin's own home, but you get the idea." 

"Where have you been anyway?" Kellin frowned, leaning against the counter "I was kind of worried about you last night." 

"I'll explain properly later' I offered in way of explanation. Vic seemed to pick up on my comment because he picked up his phone from the counter and shoved it into his coat pocket. 

"It's alright, I was on my way to band practice anyway" He gestured to the guitar case that was propped up against the table "I only called in to give Kellin his t-shirt back." I decided not to ask for any more details on this.

"Oh okay, nice to see you." 

"I'll walk you out" Kellin grabbed his guitar for him and I watched the two of them head out the room. As I waited for Kellin to return I fixed myself some toast and wondered how the fuck he was going to react to what I was about to tell him. I mean, at least when Ray had found out about me and Gerard it had been from his own suspicions and not just because i sat him down and told him. Even then, he'd looked like he was about to faint. 

"So?" He asked the moment he returned, sitting down on one of the barstools. There was no way he was letting this one go, that much was clear. 

"I need to trust you with something. And i need you to swear to me you're not going to tell anyone. Not even Vic." I sat down opposite him as I spoke, figuring that this was as good a way to start as ever. 

"Ok" he nodded "you know you can trust me Frank. Vic has no idea about any of the drugs or even your personal issues. and it can't get any bigger than that, can it?" His tone became more questioning as it went on, as he gradually came to the conclusion that it must be pretty damn big for me to be looking so nervous. Hell, I was more nervous than when I told him about Ian. At least when I told people that secret I was only putting myself in danger. This was Gerard's secret too. 

"I know I can, I just needed you to know how important this is to me." 

"Consider yourself understood."There was a firm, confident look in his eyes that told me he was prepared for anything I threw his way. Or at least, I hoped he was.

"Ok" I breathed deeply for a moment, readying myself "I'm in a relationship."

His eyes widened at that, obviously not expecting me to turn the conversation to my love life when the last time we'd spoken like this i'd told him about how i was being forced into dealing drugs.

"Anyone I know?"

"I don't think so" He waited expectantly, and so I just said it "the thing is, our relationship isn't really... legal... at the moment."

"But you're over sixteen?" 

"It's eighteen when they're in a position of trust" an understanding came over his features then as he realised what direction this was heading in.

"Oh I see" a grin broke out on his features "so you're banging a teacher is it? Go on, tell me. I'm sure i'll know them. Although our college does seem to be lacking in young, attractive male staff and I would've thought i'd have acknowledged any good talent by now."

"He's not a teacher" I sighed, wishing it was that bit simpler "his name's Gerard Way, and he's a priest." 

"Oh." He seemed to pause for a moment, temporarily shocked by this news. Then it clicked, and he started to talk rapidly in a manner that had me struggling to keep up. "Wait, Father Way? The one you had to watch you after college and keep you out of trouble?" When i nodded, he burst out into laughter.

"Kellin! I'm being serious!"

"This is... something else" he chuckled away "I know you like to piss off your uncle, but fucking the priest? That's got to be on a whole new level. man, you deserve an award."

"Thanks for the support" i rolled my eyes, causing him to sober up a little "and it's more than just fucking you know. I love him."

"You do? How long has this been going on anyway?"

"Since March" I admitted, and he didn't comment on how i'd kept it from him for all these months. I guess he was too busy taking it all thing to really think about the dates.

"And you were at his last night?" I could see it was all starting to click into place in his mind, just as it had done for Ray when he found out.

"Yeah. He said he was fine with me telling you. I mean it made sense, i didn't want to have to lie to you about where I was going anymore. I'm sick of having to lie to everyone these days, and I know I can trust you." At least now both he and Ray knew everything, giving me a bit more breathing space to work with when it came to constant lies. 

"Well I'm glad you told me. Man, the amount of priest jokes i'm going to be able to make out of this-" I smacked his hand lightly, efficiently making him shut up.

"Come on Kellin this is serious. You can see why you can't tell anyone now, especially before I turn Eighteen. Even then we'll still need time to work out what we're going to do about Gerard's job and where we'll go."

"This is why you're putting up with Ian's shit isn't it? So you can stay near him?" I guess he could really see that this wasn't some sort of teenage lust by the sacrifice I was making to be with him.

"Yep" I nodded "just a few more months though and then i'm out of here."

"Jeez" he sighed "I've never known someone more attracted to trouble then you Frank. Ever. You're like a fucking magnet for it."

"I know. I'm working on it." Was my response, that he obviously didn't believe a word of. But then again, even I knew that it was a weak vow. I could never truly avoid trouble, and that was just a fact I was going to have to live with.

_________________________________________


	8. 8

Eight

The following week I found myself at Dewees house, and this time not because I had been ordered to go round there by Ian. No, this time I was there by choice. Mainly due to my strong need to make sure he was still holding up okay. I don't really know why I cared so much for him when he'd gotten me in so much trouble. I guess it was because I couldn't avoid seeing the similarities between us - both outcasts, both on a bit of a downward spiral and both in desperate need of saving from the mess we'd created. Maybe I subconsciously thought that if I helped him, maybe someone would help me too. Good karma, perhaps. 

This worry of mine was quickly proved to be an accurate one when he opened the door looking like complete shit. And not in a couldn't-be-bothered-to-shower way, but a it's-far-past-a-little-joint stage. 

"Frank?" He blinked at the bright light that shone through his doorway, only slightly blocked by my own shadow (it wasn't exactly the tallest one, after all) "Ian hasn't dropped anything by.." 

"I know" I stepped inside, to which he gratefully shut the door behind me, all the curtains still closed and only a few lights on here and there. "I didn't come to pick anything up. I came to see you." 

"Oh" He smiled weakly at that, obviously not thinking I would've stuck to my word to come check on him, but happily surprised that I had "did you want a drink or something?" 

"Sure" I shrugged, following him into the kitchen "water's fine." He seemed surprised at my healthy choice, but decided not to question it further. Instead he just handed me a glass as I inspected his bleak expression and the tiny shake to his grip.

"I know what you're thinking" he sighed "and honestly, i'm fine."

"No you're not" I retorted "i'm not as stupid as you may think, you know. I can see this isn't just weed you're smoking anymore Dewees. What are you on now? Meth? Cocaine? Heroin?" 

"If you've just come to pester me about my bad habits-" his immediately defensive tone of voice told me all I needed to know. He desperately needed my help, wether he agreed or not. 

"I've come here because I give a damn about you and I don't want to see you destroyed by an addiction. I want to help you Dewees, in whatever way I can. Because let's face it, you don't seem like you're beating this alone do you?" 

That shut him up for a moment. 

When he next spoke, it was with a calmer tone of voice. "I know" was his initial sigh "Believe me I know right now more than anything how stupid it is. This comedown's one of the worst i've had." 

"Is there anything you want me to get you?" 

"No" He shook his head. "Could you stay a little bit though? Just watch some TV or listen to some music or something, I don't really care. I just need the company, you know?" 

I smiled sadly, knowing that perhaps what he needed from me may not be much in the long run, but would mean the world to him right now.

"Of course" I leaned away from the kitchen counter "come on, let's go be boring together." 

He followed me into the living room and watched as I sat down in front of the TV, rooting through his various DVDs and games. He didn't say much, something that would have been a novelty had we not been in that current situation, but instead sat down quietly on the sofa and waited. 

"Here we go" he pulled out his collection of Die Hard films "got a favourite?" 

"The second one" I stated automatically, and he grinned, shoving it into the player. 

"Me too" was all he said, before coming to join me on the sofa. He grimaced at the bright screen throughout the adverts, but by the time the actual film started his eyes seemed to have adjusted.

***

I must have dozed off during the film, as next thing I knew I was waking up to a blank screen and a lack of Dewees in the room. The outside light told me it was gone nightfall, telling me that the film had finished quite some time ago, yet he hadn't woken me up. 

I got up gradually and checked the kitchen before heading upstairs. 

"Dewees?" I called out "Where are you?" 

My question was met by silence, but I guess I would've been naive to expect anything more. Eyes fixed on the bedroom door, I made my way down the corridor. I never should've fallen asleep like that and I left him to his own devices. I knew better and yet i'd let my lazy ways dictate me. 

When I pushed open the door, I was met by the sight of him sitting on the floor, curtains closed in front of him, just staring ahead. At first I wasn't sure quite what at, but when I stepped further into the room I saw he was looking at a book. Or rather, the lines of cocaine on top of it. 

"Dewees" I whispered softly, and when that didn't work "James?" 

"Nobody calls me that anymore" Was the whisper that left his mouth, his eyes still fixated on the powder "I mean, my parents used to, but then..." 

"Sorry" I sat down cross-legged on the floor, about half a meter away "What happened? If you don't mind me asking." 

"They disowned me when they found out about this" he gestured to the drugs "who could blame them though, right?"

"Listen Dewees, a lot of parents are fucked up. And when you get hurt by the people that are supposed to protect you, it fucks you up. They never should have given up on you like that, but if you carry on like this then you're letting them win." 

"You think I want to carry on like this?" He finally turned to look at me "You think I like what this is doing to me?" 

"Of course not, I mean... Look" I reached out and pulled the book towards me, or more importantly away from him, inspecting the cocaine as I did so. "Where the hell did you even get this from? Are you buying it from Ian now?"

He not only went quiet then, but he froze up a little too. I guess that was the point where I put two and two together.

"Please don't tell me this is from their stash" I was back to speaking in a whisper now, but this time out of sheer fear. It was almost as if I was afraid the walls had ears, because if I was right here then things were worse than I could have ever imagined. 

"It was just sitting there Frank. Right under the stairs" he spoke slowly, like it caused him pain just to say it aloud. "At first it was just me taking small bits, you know? Little amounts that would go unnoticed in the deals, stuff I could repay."

"Just tell me how much you've snorted away" I sighed, holding my head in my heads in sheer defeat. "How much are we talking here Dewees?"

"I lost track" he mumbled "bags of it by this point. I just couldn't stop, I hate to think how much money I owe him now..."

I wanted to punch something. Or just scream. Anything to vent my frustrations about how my life was once again fucking me over. It's weird, because I always used to be the one messing up, but now I seemed to be being dragged into other people's mess more than my own, and this loss of control was freaking me out. At least before, I'd chosen to fuck up, but now it seemed like a process I couldn't stop; almost like a snowball effect. 

"How the fuck are we going to fix this?" I all but groaned.

"We?" he met my eyes at that. 

"Well in case you haven't noticed, we seem to be in this thing together" I snapped "and if Ian finds out about what you've done, he'll just take it out on me too. He knows I care about you."

"No, no I won't let you take the fall for this" he shook his head rapidly and began to pull himself to his feet. Although he was still a bit out of it, it seemed the threat of Ian had pushed him to pull himself together, even if only momentarily, for my sake. "I can fix this."

I just sighed up at him. "And how do you plan to do that? Are you just going to magic up a few grams of cocaine? What happens when I'm suppose to deal out goods you've already finished? What do I tell Ian then?" I could feel the anger boiling inside of me and there was little I could do to stop it. 

"I won't let it get to that stage" he continued to try in his attempt to convince me this could somehow be okay "I'll tell him myself -"

"Oh because that's going to end great, isn't it?" I couldn't help the sarcasm by this point. I even got to my feet so I could snap at him properly, face to face. "He'll just let you walk away with nothing more than a 'don't worry about it', won't he?"

"Frank-"

"No" by this point I was yelling "do you know how fucked up this is? I came here to help you and now you've tripled both our problems. Fuck, why do you have to constantly ruin my life?" So much for karma, all I seemed to get was more and more bad luck.

"Oh yeah because your life was just peachy without me" he grumbled, at which point I guess I let my self resolve crumble.

"You know what? I'm done here. Go fuck up your life however you want, I'm not sticking around to watch anymore."

And with that I stormed out of the room. Of course, I could hear him following behind me like a dog in disgrace, but I ignored him anyway and grabbed my jacket from the back of the sofa.

"Frank I'm sorry" he tried weakly, already knowing it would make no difference.

"Me too" was my sharp reply. I didn't allow myself to turn around as I knew I'd only be met with a destroyed expression that would have me forgiving him within moments. Perhaps later I'd feel the guilt of not turning back, but right then I just had to get out of there. 

Instead I walked straight out the front door, running on sheer rage and fear.

***


	9. 9

Nine

I was completely enraged, but not quite sure what I was more angry at; the stupidity of Dewees or the situation i'd landed myself in regardless of his mistakes. 

I'm not really sure why, but I went to the park. I guess there's something comforting about the way the trees tower over you when you're sat on the grass, or the way you can the vast sky without the interruptions of buildings. Anyway, I needed comfort wherever I could find it, and so I sat on the grass with my knees pulled up to my chest, wondering just how to move forward. 

I wanted to call Gerard but I knew he would be at work, so instead I tried Lynz. Of course, she didn't pick up and neither did Kellin. I contemplated phoning some of the others - Jimmy or Kitty perhaps, but decided against it as it would only mean more explaining on my behalf, something I was just too exhausted to do. 

With a groan of frustration I fell back against the ground and just lay there for a few minutes, staring up at the sky and watching with jealousy as the clouds glided so effortlessly across it. I wished I could just drift away like they did, not a care in the world. 

"Frank?" 

My head shot up to see Hannah Snowdon walking towards me, her pixie-like face frowning in concern as she took in my somewhat dishevelled appearance. She had a portfolio balanced under one arm and a bag that was nearly half the size of her hanging off the other one. 

"Are you alright?" She frowned, stopping beside me and looking down at my somewhat exhausted expression. 

"Do you know anyone that can get me a shitload of cocaine in say, i dunno a couple of days?" I didn't exactly snap, but my tone was still a bit harsh, maybe even a little sarcastic too. She stood there, unsure for a moment as to wether to take me seriously. I guess the silence that followed made her realise that I was sadly not joking, as she then proceeded to sit herself down beside me and cross her legs. 

"For you?" She started to pick up some of the daisy's from the ground, weaving them together at a fast, intricate pace. 

"No. For a dealer that doesn't know half his stash has been snorted away by... a friend." Although I was beyond pissed at Dewees by this point, I still couldn't bring myself to spread his name around like it was petty gossip. "If I don't sort this, we're both fucked." 

"And why are you fucked too?" 

"Because i'm the one that's supposed to be dealing it out and when he finds out, he'll kill us both" I stared at the growing daisy chain, and watched as her hands didn't even falter with each confession I made. "And I wish I was being metaphorical, but I do genuinely think he might kill us. Or at least one of us. Maybe both. He's not the sort of guy to do things half hearted."

"Sounds like a fucked up mess" she turned to look at me, finally pausing her daisy chain-making process. "Do you believe in karma Frank?"

"I don't know... what's that got to do with this?" I frowned "I just told you i'm dealing drugs and you're telling me what exactly? That I deserve it for being a shitty person?" 

"No, of course not" She started to tie a knot in the chain "you'd have to be a shitty person for that to be the case, and you're quite clearly not." 

"Then what has karma got to do with this?" it clearly hadn't been working for me so far. Not that I was one to always put positive energy into the world, but I certainly still didn't deserve this much crap in my life. 

"I believe that the good you put out into the world will eventually be returned" She smiled softly "maybe not immediately, but in time. When you help someone in their time of need, they'll remember it. And when you're in need, they'll be there for you in return." 

"It's never quite that simple though, is it?" I didn't snap, knowing she was only trying to help even if she didn't really understand quite how done with everything I was at this point. Besides, she was being pretty open minded given the shit i'd just offloaded. 

"No, not always" She sighed "But it can be." 

"I still don't know how this helps." 

"If you want people to help you, be willing to help them in return. Everyone's got shit, and it sounds like you're friend has fucked himself over for good. Don't abandon him in his time of need. That's just telling the universe that it's ok to abandon you too." I hated that what she said made sense, but I knew it did deep down. 

"You mean in order to help myself, I have to help him first?" What she was saying didn't seem particularly beneficial for me, but I knew in the long run that she was right. I couldn't just walk away from Dewees and leave him to most likely be killed by Ian. If he died, I'd have to live with the fact I walked away. "But how? When Ian finds out-" 

"Well you'll have to make sure that either he doesn't find out, or that when he does your friend is long gone." She gave me the daisy chain at that point, placing it in the palm of my hand. "Good luck Frank." 

"Surely luck and karma can't exist together?" I raised an eyebrow, causing her to give my arm a playful slap. 

"Don't use my own words against me when i'm trying to be nice!" 

"Sorry" I chuckled. "Seriously though Hannah. Thanks for the advice, even if I have no idea quite how to use it." 

"You'll figure it out" She shrugged so calmly I felt myself believing her. There was something about her that was reassuring, something that told me she was in control, and I needed that. "Although i'd think fast, it sounds like you're already on borrowed time." 

"It's Dewees, you know. He's the guy I need to help." At this point I figured she might as well know, especially as she seemed to be helping me now. Besides, what did I have to lose? I might as well enlist the help of a pixie-like girl. Perhaps she could beat Ian up with her massive art folder? Or curse him with some weird voodoo magic or something. She certainly seemed fairy-like. 

"Oh right" She nodded "I remember him, he seemed like a funny guy" She paused for a moment, then "get him out of here Frank, get him somewhere where they won't find him. He doesn't deserve what they'll do to him."

"I'll need to get Kellin to help. He's got money. Normally I wouldn't ask but... well he likes Dewees, he'll want to help." 

"Come on, you can't sit here and feel sorry for yourself forever" She stood up and outstretched her hand "I'll give you a lift back to Kellin's - we could pick Dewees up on the way if you like? It's best to get him out of the house if nothing else." 

I sighed, enjoyed one last moment lying in the grass, and then accepted her hand. She pulled me to my feet (or as best as she could when she was ever shorter than me and most probably half my weight). 

"Ok, let's go before I can think too much about how fucked I am." 

***

"We've never really spoken much before, have we?" I asked from my seat riding shotgun in the car as Hannah drove, heading towards Dewees neighbourhood. "I mean, we've talked, but not for long." 

"I guess not" She smiled across at me "I'm glad we are though Frank, although maybe the circumstances could be better" She let out a little laugh at that. "I'd been meaning to chat to you anyways. You've always looked like an interesting person to me." 

"Normally I'd say thanks, but I recently came to the conclusion that being interesting is overrated. Way too much stress." 

"Would you swap this lifestyle for a boring one then? One where you never did anything remotely exciting?" I thought of all the friends I wouldn't have made, and most importantly the relationship I wouldn't be in. 

"No." 

"Then I think you enjoy being interesting a bit more than you'd like to admit. All kids that act out tend to, it gives them a sense of freedom. You know, that you're life isn't going to waste. That you'll have something to tell the kids about one day." 

"Stop messing with my head." 

"Stop letting me." 

I chuckled and leaned back into my seat. Of course my laughter was quickly cut short when we turned the corner onto Dewees' road. 

"Which one is it?" 

"Just pull up here" I gestured vaguely to the pavement "I'll get him. He probably won't want anyone else to see what state the house is in. And er, it's probably better you stay in the car just in case." No way was I letting her get caught amongst the crossfire. 

"Ok" She turned off the ignition and sat back, pulling out her phone "be quick though." 

***

"Dewees?" I yelled through the letterbox, figuring he wouldn't appreciate the sound of someone knocking at the door. The last thing I wanted to do was scare him anymore "It's Frank. Let me in."

"Just leave Frank" I heard him sigh back "You were right to walk out earlier. I've fucked up, you need to get out of here before they hurt you too-" 

"If you open the damn door then perhaps we can both get out of this unharmed?" I snapped. "I can't just leave you like this. I won't. So either you open the door now and we get out of here, or we wait for Ian to show up." 

There was the sound of shuffling, and then the unmistakable click of the door. Dewees only opened it a fraction, but I quickly darted inside and shut the door behind me, ignoring the strong stench of beer and weed. He looked like he'd sobered up considerably by this point, but he was still shaking a bit. 

"Frank what are you doing?" he gulped when I walked past him into the living room. 

"Saving you" I glanced round the room "you're going to have to trust me on this one, ok?" 

He nodded quickly, not even giving it a second thought. I guess he didn't really have many options at this point. 

"Ok, pack a bag now. You're not coming back, so grab anything valuable and make sure you pack some clothes too. We have a car, we can make a few trips back and forth if nesacary, but I need you to be fast." 

"Ok" he gulped "who's car?" 

"Hannah Snowdon's." 

"How much does she know?" He instantly looked unsettled at the thought of anyone else knowing about his addiction, but I really didn't have time to spend comforting him. Hannah was the best option we had right now. 

"Enough. Now go." He scurried upstairs after that, leaving me to start pacing up and down the hallway. 

I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was at a loss as to what I would do next. I knew we had to get Dewees out of the area, but I wasn't sure exactly how. I decided to focus on the present, and getting him somewhere temporarily safe. Mainly because it was the only thing I knew how to do at that point. 

***

Dewees came downstairs with a backpack and a suitcase about ten minutes later, still shaking and possibly even more anxious than before. 

"Ok" he gulped "that's all I need. Where are we-" 

"We'll talk in the car" I took his suitcase "come on." 

I pulled him out the house, letting the door swing shut behind us, and then all but shoved him down the pavement until we reached Hannah's car. Hannah stated the car as he climbed into the back, and the moment by door shut we were off. 

"Hi Dewees" She was uber-friendly despite the situation "we've met at Kellin's a few times, right?" 

"Er, yeah" He was a little dazed to say the least. 

"Actually, we're going back to his right now" she slowed down now that we were successfully out of his neighbourhood and onto a busy road again "I expect you'll be staying there until Frank figures out what we're doing next." 

"Does Kellin know?" He gulped "about the drugs and me and-" 

"He knows about me but only a little about you" I cut him off "Although considering i'm about to ask if you can crash at his, we will need to bring him up to speed on all of this" I gestured to his backpack. 

"Right. Yeah." 

All was quiet in the car for a moment, with Hannah focusing on driving, Dewees trying to take in everything that had just happened, and me just being grateful for a moment of peace. 

"Frank?" I turned to look at Dewees. "Thank you. You didn't have to do this for me." 

"Thank Hannah." Part of me was still livid at him for what he'd done, but a more intelligent part of me also knew that his addiction needed serious help and not anger thrown at him. I also knew that Hannah was right - whatever happened next, I was doing the right thing, and that had to count for something, right? 

______________________________________


	10. 10

Ten

Kellin was easy to convince. He already knew most of my problems anyway, so it didn't come as much of a shock to him when I turned up with Dewees (along with his luggage) and Hannah. In fact, he just sighed and turned the kettle on without a word.

"Go on" He said once we'd set down the bags and pulled up some chairs "What's happened now?"

I was brief about Dewees situation, but that didn't really make it seem any less of a crisis. As I talked, Hannah made coffee and Dewees did some serious staring at the floor, probably craving another fix by this point and so desperately trying to fight off the urge. It wasn't like there were any drugs in the house anyway, so he didn't really have much of a choice. Perhaps this would be a good thing for him,now he would have no choice but to give up. 

"You better pick out a guest room then" Kellin sighed to him once i'd finished "looks like you'll be staying here for a while."His house seemed more like a hotel at this point, or to be more accurate perhaps a hostel for messed up teenagers. 

"Is that ok?" Dewees finally spoke.

"Of course, just pick out one of the rooms on the left, Frank's already claimed one of them. Do you want a hand with your bags?"

"No, it's fine" he started to pick them up off the ground, hands shaking a little from the withdrawal we'd no doubt be seeing a lot more of in the next few hours. "Thanks Kellin."

We waited until he was out of earshot before we spoke again.

"This can only be temporary" Hannah spoke, voicing the thought i'd been too tired to say myself "he's going to start going through withdrawals, and it won't be pretty. He needs a proper rehab, somewhere far away where he won't be found."

"Where are we going to get the money to do that?" I snapped a little, but she ignored my tone of voice. She clearly had more patience than the rest of us. Or maybe she was just less tired of all this shit than I was. 

"My parents have quite a few paintings. We could-"

"Kellin, we can't sell off your parents art collection to send our friend to rehab" I cut him off "you've already done enough as it is, I can't let you do that too. He stays here for now, until I figure out something." It was my problem after all. I brought him to kellin's, so I should be the one to figure out how to get him to rehab. 

"Fine" he shrugged "but the offer's there if you change your mind."

"I won't."

Hannah jumped in at this point, taking charge of the conversation again.

"Ok, he stays here for now. Moving on - what are you going to do Frank? When this guy finds out that Dewees is missing, he'll come looking for you no doubt." As she spoke, Kellin crossed the room and drew the curtains on the evening outside.

"Just in case" he mumbled. His house was safe for now, but we couldn't afford to get over confident. Not with both of us now under his roof. 

"Anyway" She continued "Does he know where you used to live? Or your college? Are there places he'd look for you in?"

"No, just Dewees' house, it wouldn't exactly be hard to check the local collages so I guess going back next week isn't an option for me anymore" in a weird way i'd been almost looking forward to going back in September, a mere week away by this point, just for the sense of normality and mundane routine that collage gave me. However now it seemed that Ian was going to destroy that for me too.

"You need to keep a low profile then" She grimaced "It's all we can do for now except keep you house bound, and I doubt you'll be up for that."

"No way" as soppy as it sounded, i'd rather risk it than go without seeing Gerard.

"Ok, well don't go to any of your usual places. The record or art shops, your aunt and uncle's house, college, park, town centre... just avoid them all really. Keep your head down, preferably get lifts from us instead of public transport... oh! And change your phone number! Otherwise he could track you."

"It's only every week or so that he calls me to do a drug drop so he probably won't notice for a few more days yet" I nodded, mentally buying myself some time.

"Yeah but as soon as he finds out about Dewees, he'll be onto you too" Kellin added. "I mean, you'll be the only lead he has if he wants to find out where he is."

"And more importantly where his drugs are" Hannah said between gulps of coffee.

"Maybe I should pick up when he calls, pretend like I don't know anything..." It was somewhat plausible. I mean, what could he really do if I swore I knew nothing? Would he really hurt me just for the sake of it?

As if reading my mind, Hannah answered, "You know if you do that he won't believe you. He'd rather torture you for information than take your word on it."

"Especially as you were so loyal to Dewees in the past" Kellin reminded me "you were willing to get beaten and then signed up in order to save him in the past, what would have changed now?"

"He's right, people like that see caring about someone as a weakness, and they're more than happy to use it against you." Hannah shook her head at the thought of it all, disgusted at the way in which Ian would use my empathy as a tool to manipulate me with. 

I glanced at them both before returning my gaze to the marble worktops of Kellin's kitchen, a part of my mind wondering how much his parents must have spent on this alone. For some, money really was no obstacle. 

"I need to at least try talking to Ian... Perhaps if I called him? Explained that I went round but Dewees wasn't there, then I'd sort of be turning him in myself... Maybe then he'd trust me." I was clutching at straws, but at least i technically did still have some options, even if they weren't good ones. I had to decide on my plan fast though, because soon i'd be all out. 

Both of them went quiet for a moment, deep in thought. Hannah began to absentmindedly trace shapes into the kitchen worktop with her index finger.

"You'd be sacrificing what little time we have to get Dewees out of here" Kellin finally pointed out. "But..."

"But it could buy you some time in the process" Hannah seemed to agree with me "I mean, don't get me wrong, this could go disastrously, but it's not like you've got a lot to loose anyway. You'd be showing some loyalty to him at the very least."

"Just make sure you're convincing" Kellin sighed, realising that despite the idea being potentially awful, it was the best we had. "When are you going to call him anyway?"

"I don't know when they'll next go round his house, so it would have to be soon... today would be best I guess. Before someone beats me to it."

"Dewees will just have to stay here until we work out something more permanent then."

"Yeah, I guess so" it wasn't ideal and it put more strain on Kellin than I would've liked, but by this point I was running out of options.

"When are you going to call him?" Hannah glanced at the clock "because I kind of need to go soon but I don't want to just up and leave you..."

"Go, go" I waved a dismissive hand at the door "honestly, you've done more than enough. I can handle it from here." We all knew that this was a blatant lie, but nobody called me out on it.

She picked up her car keys and pulled me in for one of those squeeze-the-air-out-of-you hugs that was actually kind of comforting.

"Use your brain" was her parting words of advice "and don't rush into anything, ok?"

"Yes boss." 

***

"Right now?"

"I mean it's as good a time as ever" I shrugged off Kellin's skeptical attitude.

"I don't know Frank... Maybe you should wait and tell Dewees before you call up Ian."

Dewees was currently asleep upstairs, nursing off the little high that was left in him and currently blissfully unaware of the situation happening in the living room, where I was sat with my phone in my hand deciding his fate. Had he known, I'm sure he'd have plenty to say, but as it was it seemed the choice was down to me.

"It's not like he'd be happy with it anyway" I reasoned, finger hovering over Ian's contact. "Just one quick call and Ian will think I'm on his side, at least for now. It buys us time." It also meant I wouldn't have to go into hiding and basically become house bound, so I was all for this chance of freedom.

"Ok, well if you're going to do this then Hannah had a point about them tracing the call. You should phone them from somewhere public and then turn your phone off whenever you're near the house. Better to be safe than sorry, right?" Wether they would realistically have the ability to trace the call seemed highly unlikely, but it wasn't worth chancing anyway. 

"Right. I'll call him from the town centre or something, it won't take me long to get there." I rose to my feet. "In fact, if I go now I could make it back in time for when Dewees wakes up."

"Do you need a lift or something?"

"Nah I'm good, I need the walk."

"Frank?" I turned back to face him, only to see my own nerves reflected in his features. "Good luck." 

***

It was a hot day.

The pavement seemed to only reflect the heat upwards, into my face and onto my hairline, making me unsure as to weather the sweat was from that or simply nerves. Part of me was past caring, especially when I began to near the town centre. You can only walk so slow in a town like this, especially in the heat, and I knew soon I would be out of excuses.

Right at that moment I would've chosen ten drug drops over the call I was about to make. Mainly because I knew that one false move, one hint that I knew where Dewees was, and I was a goner.

I started to pay more attention to the people around me; groups of teenagers without a care in the world, mothers anxiously pulling their kids away from such groups of teens, businessmen sitting alone... None could quite distract me.

When my phone let off a small beep to tell me i'd received a text, I violently jumped, turning on the screen with shaking hands.

However I found myself breathing a sigh of relief when I saw the text was from Gerard.

"I miss you" it read "where have you been? Xx"

I ignored it for now, with the promise I would answer it later, and instead sat down on the edge of the town centre's over the top fountain, once again finding myself staring down at Ian's contact.

All I had to do was lie. I'd done it countless times before to countless types of people, and yet I was the most nervous now. I'd take any other lie i'd even spun over this one, even the smashed fire alarm would be better. My life had never depended on lying before. 

Before I could think things through, I hit call. 

"Iero? What is it?" It seemed Ian didn't really do 'hello's when answering the phone, not that I'd expected anything else. I guess he knew something was wrong if I was voluntarily calling him. 

"Erm, I think Dewees is missing" At least I didn't need to fake my worried tone of voice "I mean, I went round there but he's... Well he's gone." Please, please buy this, I thought, tempted to even cross my fingers out of sheer desperation. 

"What the hell do you mean gone?" instantly his voice was laced with suspicion and rage, making me flinch a little. 

"Disappeared. A lot of his stuff is gone too. Well, the valuables at least..."

I could hear the sound of a fist slamming onto a table on the other end of the line, followed by a barked reply.

"What about the drugs Iero? Are they still there? Tell me he's left my fucking stash alone!"

"That's the thing.... I think there's quite a bit missing. He told me he was struggling with his addiction but I didn't realise how bad it was." I felt awful to be giving up what little time and excuses Dewees had left, but I prayed it would be the right decision for us both in the long run. Even if he didn't see it that way at first. 

Now all I could hear was a string of curses.

"That piece of shit... listen here Frank, you phone him right now and find out where the fuck he is. I don't care if he's your friend or not, I want him found and I want him found now."

"I've tried but-"

"Then try harder!" More slamming fists on tables could be heard, and I was eternally grateful he was at the other end of a phone line and unable to reach me. 

"Ian we're not even that close, there's no way he'd pick up if I called. I'm sorry, but it's nothing to do with me. I'm just your errand boy, right?" I held my breath, anxiously waiting for his reply. It all hung on this. 

He sighed, but not in defeat. It was the sort of sigh that told you he was thinking, that it was only a matter of time until he had control once again. It was a sigh that told you not to let your guard down. Not to get confident, but maybe to breathe just for a moment. 

"I'm going to find him Iero, with or without your help. But let me tell you this - it's in your best interests to track him down. Because if I get even the tiniest of clues that you knew anything more than you're letting on, I will end your miserable little life. Got it?"

"Got it" I managed to gulp as he abruptly hung up the phone.

I'd spent most of my life lying to people, but never had my life actually depended on it before. It wasn't exactly a situation I would have foreseen myself to be in, but then again I also never could have foreseen it being followed by me taking off down the street, towards the one person who seemed to be able to make me feel better; the local priest. 

******

I was hoping to get Gerard in this chapter but it hasn't worked out, I promise he'll be in the next chapter though!

\- H xx


	11. 11

Eleven 

"Shit, what now?" Was Gerard's choice of words when he opened the door to me. To be fair to him, I probably did look like a nervous wreck at this point.

"Dewees - I -" I tried to force out words, tried to think of the best way to describe the shit I'd managed to get myself in.

"Shit, you're shaking" he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me inside, where he then directed me towards the sofa "come on, sit down."

I sank into the sofa and took a few deep breaths, collecting myself before I spoke.

"Dewees snorted practically all of Ian's cocaine, and I knew Ian would kill him when he finds out - I had to get him out of there Gerard, I couldn't let him die you know?" I met his worried glanced with one of equal panic.

"Where did you take him? Does Ian know yet?"

I quickly relayed the phone conversation I'd had with Ian, where I pretended to know nothing about the location of Dewees, nor how to find him. Then I told him how Ian had threatened me, saying that if I was lying he would find out one way or another and then he would kill me.

"Fuck" he groaned "it was never going to be simple was it? I thought if we could last till your birthday without incident..."

"I just need to get Dewees out of here, somewhere where Ian won't find him. If he's gone then there's nothing that can trace him back to me, so I'll be in the clear." It was a long shot. Hell, even if we got him out of town it would still be a long shot that i'd be able to escape too.

His head snapped up at that, and he met my gaze with a look that told me he thought I was crazy. "In the clear? Frank look around, even if you pull this off you'll still be dealing drugs and fucking a priest. I don't think that's most people's definition of in the clear."

"I'm just trying to think positively-"

"There's nothing positive about this Frank" he snapped "This Ian guy - he's going to get you one way or another - and there's nothing I can do to stop it. If we run away now I'll still be kidnapping you in the eyes of the law."

"It's less than a month until I'm eighteen-"

"You really think Ian will just patiently wait around for Dewees to show up? Frank, he's a maniac and the more time that passes the more pressure he'll put on you to find him!" He looked almost like he wanted to punch something, with one hand balled in a fist as the other ran roughly through his hair in distress.

"I know" my voice cracked as I spoke, and this seemed to break Gerard out of his angry trace "I know what the odds are of me being able to pull this off, I know that he's not going to believe me forever and I know that if we ever finds out I've helped Dewees he'll kill me" by this point I felt a tear roll down my cheek and my shoulders start to shake. I hardly ever cried, but I think i'd reached the end of any resolve and bravery I had left. I just wanted to curl up in Gerard's living room and never leave again.

Immediately I felt his hand cup my face, smearing away the tear with him thumb whilst the other arm wrapped around me and pulled me into his chest, his head resting on top of mine.

"Don't cry Frankie" he said in a softer tone "I'm sorry I snapped, I was just stressed about all of this okay? I feel so fucking helpless in all of this and all I want to do is get you away from here and take somewhere safe, but i'm stuck."

"I'm so scared Gee" I sniffed. I could hardly remember the last time I shed a tear, but I guess I also couldn't really remember anyone else i'd ever felt comfortable enough to cry around.

"Me too" he sighed "I've never loved anything or anyone as much as I love you Frank. And the thought of someone trying to hurt you makes me feel sick."

"I love you too" I looked up at him "you're the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment to be honest." His arms around me gave me a sense of security I'd never really felt anywhere else, and I never wanted it to stop.

"Maybe we could run away, you know" he sighed into my hair "maybe if we just disappeared, and then couldn't find us..."

"They'd find us eventually Gee" I mumbled "if there's anything I've learned it's that shit always catches up with you in the end."

"Well what if you ran away and then I'll join you once you've had your birthday? I could contact Mikey, he'd let you stay with him for a while and then -"

"You know I can't just go like that. It's not that simple anymore" I tilted my head up to meet his gaze, reaching a hand out to play with the ends of his hair as I spoke "Dewees needs me, I can't just leave him with Kellin indefinitely. And if I were to disappear now then Ian would know I'm guilty and I'd never ever be able to return here. Fuck, I'd never ever be safe if general. All it would take is for me to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and I'd be a goner."

"You're right I guess." I hated seeing him so deflated, so out of ideas.

"Hey" I forced a small smile "we'll be okay. I promise you. I'll find a way out of this mess."

"No" his response took me by surprise at first "we'll find a way out of this mess. Starting with Dewees."

He sat up a little, forcing me to as well due to the angle he was hugging me from. There was a spark in his eyes that hadn't been there before, a determination and confidence that I'd been missing.

"Dewees? What about him?"

"You need to get him to rehab right?"

"Well yeah" I frowned "but I told you, we don't have the funds right now. I mean if we had that much money maybe we'd be able to buy the coke he snorted and solve the mess in the first place."

"Well" he smirked "dating a priest doesn't come without perks you know. And I'm not just talking about the collar either."

"As a side note, that collar would cheer me up right now..." I gave a wink, making him chuckle a little and pull me closer to him by the waist.

"Noted, but not what I was talking about. Actually, I was about to say that as a priest, we have a lot of charity connections at the church. Some of which are rehabs that are charity funded and aimed at giving young people like Dewees a chance."

I kissed him briefly before I replied. "Do you think they could take him? And how soon?"

"Hard to say, but I can phone tomorrow and find out. I'll call in some favours and explain that he's in desperate need. Hopefully I should be able to fast track him a place. I do a lot for those charities so they're in my debt."

I wrapped both arms tight around his shoulders and kissed him properly that time, savouring the feel of his lips on mine and wondering if there would ever be anything better than the feeling of kissing him (and quickly concluding not). Was this how drugs felt to Dewees? If so, perhaps I could understand the addiction. I was certainly addicted to Gerard, every aspect of him too. From kissing him to just looking at him, he was always on my mind.

"That would be so amazing Gee" I finally replied when we broke apart "if we could get him into one of those rehabs... it would just be amazing. Thank you so much-"

"You don't need to thank me Frankie. Honestly, it's refreshing to feel like I can actually help you properly for once."

"Hey! You do so much to help me all the time, okay?" How could he not see it like I did? How could he not realise how much of a positive impact he always had on me? "You're here for me and you're always supported me and picked me up when I'm down or hurt and that means more to me than anything else in the world. I can't explain how much I love you, or how much you loving me has made me finally happy."

"Good, all I ever want is for you to be happy" the spark of confidence in his expression seemed to have grown "well, happy and safe. So at least we've got one thing down. Now to work on the other." 

** 

When I got back from Gerard's that afternoon Kellin greeted me at the door, looking weary.

"How did it go? Did he buy it?" Was his first query, glancing behind me to check I was alone.

"For now" I nodded "I'll tell you all the details later, but I need to talk to Dewees and explain what's happened first. Where is he?" I closed the front door behind me and Kellin gave a nod towards the kitchen.

"In there. He's started to get a bit shaky and hungry from the withdrawal symptoms so i've been making him some toast. Not that I think toast is particularly going to help him, it's just, well, I didn't really know what else to do. And whenever i'm hungover I always want toast, and well, withrdrawals a bit like the hangover from hell only worse, right?"

"Something like that" I shrugged "although I don't think Dewees will see it that way."

"Where have you been all afternoon anyway?" No sooner had he asked it did I give a little smile, answering his question without having so say a word, prompting him to laugh "oh okay you were with him, I should've known really shouldn't?"

"To be honest Kellin, if i'm not here or at college, i'm with him" I'd pretty much limited my time to 3 locations. Well, except for the whole drug-drops situation, but that wasn't exactly somewhere I wanted to be, or spent much time at.

"Noted."

We moved out of the corridor at this point and into the kitchen, where my eyes instantly landed on Dewees. He was sat up at the kitchen counter, which I guess was something, albeit a bit slumped over it. The aforementioned toast lay in front of him, and he seemed to be gingerly picking away at it with little interest, a slight tremor visible in his hand as he did so.

"Hey" he jumped at my voice, instantly dropping the toast and blinking at me a few times.

"Frank, what's going on? Where were you? What the hell am I gunna do here? I can't stay here forever, and Ian's going to find out, and and -"

"Shut up a minute" I pulled up a chair opposite him "you've been asleep for a few hours so I need to catch you up on some stuff, but don't worry okay? I'm sorting this. Sort of. I've got a plan, or at least a plan in the making."

"I wasn't sure how much to tell him yet" Kellin murmured from behind me "I thought it would be better coming from you. Plus, well, I just didn't want to explain where you were and have him shoot the messenger" his attempt to lighten the tone fell pretty flat, but I appreciated the thought nonetheless.

"Shoot the messenger?" Dewees widened his eyes "What does that mean? Fuck Frank, what have you done?"

"Just calm down-"

"Don't tell me to calm down, just explain what's going on. Have you turned me into Ian? Or the police? Or both?"

"No no of course not. Well, not really."

"Not really?" his gaze had turned to anger now "what the hell does that mean Frank? You're either helping me or not here-"

"Dewees SHUT UP" Kellin rolled his eyes from where he was stood a few meters away "Frank had to talk to Ian to make sure Ian wouldn't think that he was involved in you disappearance, otherwise i'd have to hide you both here."

"You spoke to him?" I nodded "But you didn't tell him where I was?'

"Of course not you idiot, why would I help you only to hand you over? I told him I went round yours and couldn't find you, that you and your stuff and the drugs were all gone, and that I had no idea where you were." He visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping back into the slouch they had originally been in. I was just relieved he was finally listening.

"Okay, I mean, I guess that does make sense. The less involved you are the better. Are you sure he believed you though?"

"I was about to ask the same" Kellin chimed in.

"For now, yes" I tried not to shudder thinking about that phone call "but he said if i'm lying then he'll end me for it. And that I need to find you for him, which obviously i'm not going to. We've got time now though, and that's the main thing."

"Fuck Frank. I'm so sorry. I've ruined your life and now i'm going to ruin it even more" Dewees looked close to tears at this point. "I mean, I've got nowhere to go now and I can't hide away here forever. Maybe I should just turn myself in, save you both your lives -"

"No way" I cut him off as me and Kellin shook our heads at the same time. "You didn't ask us to do this for you, we want to help okay?"

"No, not okay at all. This is your life we're talking about frank, you said it yourself." He stood up then, shaking a little "I have to go, I can't have your blood on my hands, I can't.."

"We're not letting you go anywhere" Kellin moved a little to block the door "you're safe here, and you need to be with people you really trust. Let us figure the rest out."

"He's right" I stood up too "listen, i've got a... friend. Who has some connections, charities and such, and he says he reckons he could get you a place at a charity rehab, hopefully soon."

"What friend? How much did you tell him?" The panic was back in his eyes.

"Someone we can trust, don't worry. I can't really say much more but it's a real chance to get you out of town and somewhere safe, away from Ian and where you can get proper help and turn all this around." Part of me thought I might as well tell him about Gerard, but I had a feeling he was already fragile enough without having to listen to my tales of how i'd ended up in the priest's bed.

"Okay" He nodded, perhaps sensing this need-to-know-only basis was the best approach for him right now. "Thank you, Frank. I'm sorry I snapped, my head's all over the place and ... well, just thank you."

"it's okay. We'll get this sorted out, you'll see."

"And in the meantime you can eat your fucking toast and drink your water" Kellin pushed the plate back towards him "because you're in for a tough few days of withdrawal and you're going to need your strength." Thank god we had a few days before college started up again, because I had a feeling someone was going to have to be on Dewees-watch at all times.

***

"hey" Kellin said to me an hour or so later "is Gerard really going to be able to get Dewees into rehab, or were you saying that to calm him down?" At this point Dewees had gone back to sleep upstairs, and it was just me and him sat downstairs. The TV was on but neither of us were paying attention to it.

"I meant it, Gerard knows a lot of charities and he seemed pretty confident he could call in some favours. I hope so anyway."

"I never thought i'd say it, but thank god we've got the local priest on our side" he chuckled "but seriously, that's so good of him. he must really care about you to try and get Dewees into rehab. The waiting lists for places like that are normally huge, but I guess he has a lot of influence."

"Yeah" I blushed a little, but I don't think he noticed "he wants this all to be over just as much as I do."

"I'm glad you found someone who makes you so happy you know, you deserve it."

"You too" a shared smile passed between us, and I allowed myself to switch off from my problems temporarily. Tomorrow was a new day and no doubt a new shitstorm, but for now I was just going to sit and watch tv with one of my best friends and pretend to be normal again.

_____


	12. 12

The next few days with Dewees in the house were a bit of a struggle, but me and Kellin managed to cope okay. We basically divided up our time so that one of us was always home to keep an eye on him. Whilst I was on duty he'd go round Vic's, and when he came back I'd go sneak round to Gerard's and spend a few precious hours in his company.

Dewees himself wasn't doing so well. The withdrawal symptoms were hard hitting and his paranoia that Ian was onto us was spiralling out of control, but after the first initial 24 hours I began to see some improvement in his state, even if they were only minor. He'd began to eat regularly and me and Kellin had hid any alcohol in the house as a precaution to make sure there was nothing around for him to try and use as a distraction. 

Of course, Kellin felt bad having to lie to Vic about why he couldn't come hang round his, but at the same time he didn't want to put Vic in any danger or involve him in any way, so he just tried to find minor excuses as to why they should definitely go hang out at Vic's after his band practice, and so far it seemed to be working. 

It was Sunday morning, and college was starting again tomorrow, and to say I was concerned about me and Kellin both having to leave Dewees in the house by himself for the day was an understatement. 

"I'll be okay" he reassured me for the fourth time as I poured us both coffee "really, you both don't need to babysit me. There's no way I'd leave this house, and it's not like there's any drugs in it. Besides, the tremors finally starting to go in my hand and I actually almost feel alive again." 

"Good, because your life kind of depends on not leaving this house" I didn't want to freak him out, but at the same time I needed to reassure myself he was going to be okay. 

"I'm aware" he rolled his eyes in a way that reminded me of the Dewees i'd first met in that very same house. That night seemed so long ago now, back when all he'd been was a guy that had tried to kiss me and weirdly actually lead me to my first kiss with Gerard. 

"Well, I need to pop out for a bit" I pulled on my battered trainers "but Kellin should be back from Vic's any minute now, so you shouldn't be alone for long. It might be good to a have a trial run anyway." 

"Relax Frank, I've got this" he smiled "where are you off to now anyway?" 

"Just tagging with Linds" I shrugged, and to be fair it wasn't a complete lie. I was going to do some tagging, but perhaps not for long as I wanted to get to Gerard's for when he got back from church. I'd only been able to see him for snippets of time these past few days and I was craving his company at this point. 

"Okay. Have fun" I had to stop myself from letting a smirk escape at that comment. Instead I just picked up my backpack and a bottle of water and headed for the door. 

***

"I mean, I know he's a bit gross and greasy at times, but he's actually so funny too Frank. You just need to get to know him a bit more, that's all." 

"Lynz, as much as I'm happy you're happy, I still don't think it's a good idea" we were walking along some of the back roads of town, heading to some spot Lynz had text to say she'd stumbled across and was perfect for tagging. Normally I would be happy walking along with her talking about all kinds of crap, but the conversation had soon turned to none other than Bert McCracken and her desire for me to give him a proper chance. 

"Come on Frank, you've only met him twice" she rolled her eyes. 

"Yeah, the first was when I dealt him drugs and the second was when he spent the whole time flirting with you" I retorted "he's not good news you know, and I know i'm not exactly the best news either, but he hangs round with some bad crowds and he's not exactly picky about who he lets into his friendship circle..." 

"Oh that's all talk, we have a fun time together and he's got a great taste in music" She waved away his antics like they were a mere inconvenience "besides, it's not a serious thing between us. I just like his company and borrowing his records." 

"And the fact that he'd probably really piss of Angela and your dad?" 

She went a bit quiet at that, and I felt a bit bad for overstepping the line. Luckily it only lasted momentarily.

"Okay, that's not the only reason i'm hanging round him. I mean, yes, it would be very funny to introduce him to Angela... but then again she's backed off a bit recently... I don't know, I don't think it's just a rebelling thing, I think I do like him." 

"I'm sure you probably do. I'm sorry, I'm not one to cast the first stone when it comes to this sort of thing. I'm sure she'd be far more angry if you told her you were dating me" we both chuckled at that image, and the mood lifted again. 

"Maybe I'll tell her for a laugh. I mean, I had to pretend to be your fake girlfriend so you kinda owe me one" she wound me up with a playful shove "you could go to shake her hand and it could be covered in spray paint." 

"No thank you, I get in enough trouble as it is without getting myself in any more" I rolled my eyes and she gave me an inquisitive look. 

"Why do I get the feeling I only know the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the shit you get yourself in?" 

"Because you're smart. And you're also smart enough not to ask too much more than you already know."

"Pleaseeee Frank" She whined, leading me down another back alleyway in a semi-familiar part of town "you know I hate missing out on the gossip." 

"You're already sucking face with druggy lunatic, why don't we leave it there?" It was really tempting to tell her about the latest developments with Dewees and Ian, but at the same time I was really enjoying the lighthearted nature of her company, and just pretending to be a normal teenager going tagging again, like it used to be. It was funny really to think my parents sent me over here for my behaviour in jersey, which seemed like almost child's play in comparison to what I was up to now. If they could see just a fraction of the trouble I was in, they'd never be able to look me in the eye again. 

"Fine, but only because we're almost here" she picked up the pace then, and I admit I had to concentrate on keeping up with her long strides. 

"Where abouts is this wall anyway?" 

"It's just behind the church gardens - come on" She rounded the corner and sure enough, there was the church, visible above the trees that surrounded the grounds. Right infront of us was a wall, and I happened to remember how right behind that wall was the bench where Gerard had kissed me. 

Gerard. Gerard who was in that church right now. 

My heart immediately started to pine for him, but then I remembered that my family were also in there, along with Brian bloody Schetcher and a whole host of horrendous people who were probably watching Gerard preach right now with no idea exactly the sort of things the collar round his neck had been used for in private. Shit, I really shouldn't think about that or Lynz was going to guess something was up. 

"Er Lynz, you do realise it's Sunday right?" I could feel the excitement to tag, and to be fair to her the wall seemed pretty great, but at the same time I really didn't want to run into any members of the congregation. 

"Yeah, perfect time Frank. They're all in there right now and will be for a while longer yet. Nobody's staying out here to watch the grounds and we'll be gone by the time the service ends." Her argument did put me at ease a bit as I realised she did have a point. "Besides, it's a proper adrenaline rush when it's in broad daylight, don't you think?" 

"You know me too well, Ballato" I grinned, giving in. I dumped my backpack on the floor between us and opened it up to reveal the various spray cans inside. We both instantly dove for various colours and got to work. 

"I wish Pete was here" I mused as I began to start my piece. 

"Your friend from New Jersey?" She asked without taking her eyes off her own work. 

"Yeah, he was always my lookout when I went tagging. Always knew some good shortcuts for a quick escape too." 

"Well he can't have been that good if you got caught all those times" she retorted, and I glanced over at her work to see this time she was drawing a more simplistic concept of a pair of eyes, smile wrinkles underneath them to show a sense of laughter. 

"That was more his boyfriends fault in all fairness, but yes, i'm not saying he was the perfect lookout, but he was always willing to be one." I made a mental note to give him a skype later, I hadn't spoken to him properly in a while, only text, and I missed him. 

Our conversation drifted off then as we both got lost within creating our pieces. Mine ended up being a picture of two people whispering behind a bible. The people weren't recognisable - I made sure of that. The detail was more focused on the book - I should've know after all the bibles Brian had made me sort through in those tedious hours after college. 

"I like that a lot" lynz admired mine as she stepped back "kinda like they're hypocrites, or hiding behind the church or something." 

"Er, yeah, something like that". 

"You ready to get out of here?" I nodded and picked up my backpack, glancing around to check for one last time nobody was around before following Lynz back towards the alleyway we'd come down. 

She stopped me suddenly though, holding a hand up "wait" she hissed, craning her head to hear better "I think I hear voices.... I think someones already walking down the alleyway." Sure enough, I heard it too, the crunch of shoes getting closer, and voices. 

"Shit, okay" I turned back towards our wall of art "come on, gimme a boost and then i'll pull you over." 

"We're going over the wall?" Her eyes were wide "Frank-" 

"Just do it" I snapped, and she quickly cupped her hands. I placed my foot in them, and was grateful that Lynz was particularly strong as she pushed me upwards. I grabbed ahold of the stones in the wall and pulled myself into a sitting position on top, throwing my backpack down into the bushes on the other side before turning back to her. "Give me your hand" I hissed, and she reached up, managing to find some footholds to cling to. 

It took a bit of a struggle, but I managed to pull her on top of the wall too, the footsteps immanently close now. We both realised we only had a few moments before these people rounded the corner and saw us sat up above our artwork, looking incredibly guilty. 

Without a word, swung around and dropped down the other side, letting myself dangle off the wall before I dropped in order to shorten the fall. It was easier for Lynz - she was taller than me and so landed a bit more gracefully, whilst I just sort of fell in a heap on the ground. We stayed silent as we heard the voices reach the wall, and luckily there just seemed to be some tutting and unrecognisable voices commenting something about 'vandals' before carrying on along the path. We waited another moment or so before i let out a sigh of relief. 

"Now that was an adrenaline rush" Lynz just giggled, and I couldn't help but laugh with her. We were by the very aforementioned bench, nicely out of view from the main church. "Where now though?" 

"Don't worry, spending all that time here after college had its perks" I stood up "I know this place like the back of my hand." She stood too, handing me my backpack back. "Just follow me round the back of the building." 

"We've not got long" she noted, glancing at the time on her phone "service ends any minute." 

I lead her round the side of the church, hearing the last new notes of the final hymn chime out as we reached the back door. Luckily, it wasn't locked, so it was easily to slip into the corridor and past the small kitchen area where the volunteers were busy preparing cheap coffee for any that wanted it. 

"Where are we going?" Lynz hissed. 

"If we loop round here there's a side door that we can use to come out the other side of the building and theres a wooded area that side that you can follow. It we can get there, we'll be the opposite side to the car park and so wont have to bump into my relatives." 

"Okay" we were almost at the end of the corridor at this point, and my confidence began to grow. Or at least it did, until I heard a familiar voice from behind me. 

"Frank?" 

I spun around, no doubt looking guilty as hell, to face none other than Brian Schetcher stood behind us, arms crossed and looking me up and down like my very presence made him want to deep clean every bit of carpet I was currently stood on. 

______

Sorry just leaving it there because it seemed a good moment to end on (you know I'm a sucker for cliffhangers). 

\- H


	13. 13

Thirteen

As I stood in the church corridor under the glare of Brian Schetcher, I cursed my luck yet again. Technically, it wasn't as if we were breaking any rules by being there, but we did look incredibly out of place and guilty, and I knew Brian wasn't going to fool for any sort of elaborate bullshit.

"Er, hey" was all I managed, mind going completely blank as I tried to think of a reason why i'd voluntarily be in a church.

Of course, all my mind could think of was the one thing that really did make me want to be at church, and seeing as I didn't have a death wish, I couldn't exactly admit to that one.

"What are you doing-" his eyes narrowed, taking in my appearance and not even seeming to notice Lynz stood next to me for a good moment or so "oh, and who's this?" his tone was a bit more polite with her, but not as much as it probably could be.

I always use to think priests were pretty 2-dimensional characters, but here I was stood in front of one who was an utter asshole, whilst the other... well, he just had a cute one. Still, I guess Brian was much more fitting of the stereotype I used to have in mind when I thought about them, especially when he gave me the judging look that he was currently wearing.

"Just stopping by?" I tried, receiving a flat look in return.

"I don't think i've ever seen you voluntarily step foot in here before, you weren't in the service and now i've found you back here looking incredibly shifty" He almost rolled his eyes, but seemed to think better of it at the last minute. "I'd threaten to tell your uncle, but I heard you stormed out of there weeks ago-"

"I didn't storm out" I snapped, defences immediately going up "actually, your buddy James kicked me ou-"

"He's with me" Lynz blurted, clearly attempting to stop the row about to unfold "I mean, sorry, it's just, Frank came here with me, but, well, I" She was grasping for an idea at this point, and I could almost see the concentration behind her eyes as she tried to piece together a believable argument.

"You what exactly?"

"I'm just going through a really hard time and, and" she sniffed in what I knew was a totally fake manner, but I guess to someone as dumb as Schetcher might work "well, I needed some help, and Frank was going to bring me here but I got nervous and we were too late for service and-"

"So we came back here" I finished as she pretended to let out a little sob.

"And how exactly can I help?" his tone was patronising, and I knew he was still highly suspicious, but at the same time as much as he found me irritating and untrustworthy, he didn't know Lynz and she could genuinely need help, so he had no real choice but to offer it.

"Well, the thing is Father" I winced having to call him by his title like I respected him, but at this point I figured it was worth it to get on side "I think Lynz would be a bit more comfortable talking to someone a bit younger, so we weren't actually looking for you."

He looked like he was trying really hard to suppress a scowl at that, and I almost could have laughed if I wasn't so worried about the fact that i'd practically admitted we were here to see Gerard.

"Right, well, if Father Way's age is such an important factor despite his lack of experience-"

"It is" I snapped back.

"-Then I guess you better come with me" he raised an eyebrow "I mean, if that is really why you're here, because if you're not then I don't think he'll appreciate your time-wasting any more than I would."

"My problems are time-wasting?' Lynz's eyes grew wide, and I had to applaud the way she was milking this situation.

"n-no" he stuttered "I just meant-"

"Just take us to Ger-, um, Father Way, before you upset her any more, yeah?" I raised an eyebrow right back at him, and despite going to open his mouth to reply, he seemed to think better of it and instead grabbed me by the shoulder and beckoned for Lynz to follow, starting in the direction of the office.

I shook hold of his grip and he didn't refuse, so I managed to hang back slightly and walk neck to Lynz. She shot me a panicked look, obviously freaking out at the fact she was going to have to lie to a priest and make up some sort of personal trauma.

"Don't worry" I mumbled as loudly as I dared with Brian a few steps ahead "I've got this under control."

"It doesn't look like you do!" was her whispered reply.

"Just trust me on this one."

By this point we were at the office door, and I couldn't help but peer round Brian to get a proper view. Sure enough, Gerard was stood with his back to us, making himself coffee and humming a little, just enough that I could hear but not enough to know what song he was humming.

"Gerard" his head snapped up at Brian's voice, and he turned, eyes growing wide the second he saw me and Lynz stood behind him "sorry to disturb you, but you have some, er, visitors that wanted to speak with you" his voice was dry and bitter "and they were pretty insistent that it had to be you."

"Oh" was all Gerard managed "erm, hello Frank" I locked eyes with him, and he gave me a look that I think would roughly translate to what the fuck are you doing.

"Hi" I gave a small, sheepish, smile "um, this is Lynz" I gave a rough gesture to my left "we were wondering if we could speak with you?"

"Oh yeah, of course" he glanced from me, to Lynz, and then to Brian "it's okay Brian, I don't mind. Could you go check on the kitchen though?"

"Yes, of course" Brian said, but still seemed skeptical about leaving "just, let me know if he causes you any trouble though, James has been pretty clear about-"

"Bye now" I snapped before he could finish his bitching.

"Frank-" he began, but Gerard surprised us both by interrupting.

"Actually Brian, I think it's important to listen to Frank's side of things and not just his uncle's" his tone was calm and even, but I could see a cold look in his eyes "So we'll be just fine up here. Thank you."

Brian clearly wasn't use to being spoken back to like that by him, so just gave a meek grumble about something inaudible and walked out the room, allowing me to let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.

Gerard waited a moment until he was confident nobody else was in earshot before walking over and shutting the door behind Lynz and I. "Right" He sighed "what's this really about then?"

"Sorry" I blushed a little, praying Lynz didn't notice "erm, Gerard, this is Lynz, Lynz, this is-"

"Gerard, yeah, I got that much" she nodded, clearly still in panic mode.

"Nice to meet you" he nodded at her, and she just gulped.

"Linds, it's okay" I sighed "Gerard's cool."

"Cool?' Gee couldn't help but tease a little.

"Okay, what is going on here Frank?" She hissed.

"I could ask the same" he piped up, concern washing over his features "are you in trouble?"

"No, no, nothing major" I shook my head "we were tagging and we sort of ended up having to jump the church wall, and then we were just going to cut through, but of course we ran into Brian almighty, and, well, here we are" I tried to give him my best innocent cant-be-to--mad-at-me-smile.

"Frank!" Lynz hissed "what are you doing?"

"It's okay" Gerard quickly reassured her "I won't tell anyone, you can trust me."

"Oh" she relaxed a little "erm, thank you, I guess."

"Don't mention it" he smiled before glancing at the door "but erm, if it's okay Lynz, could I have a moment to speak to Frank alone? I promise I won't keep him long." She looked at me, and I gave an encouraging nod to reassure her it was okay.

"Um, okay. I'll wait outside for you Frank."

He waited all of two seconds after she'd closed the door behind her before he let a grin escape him. "So, that was your fake girlfriend huh?"

"Of all the lies I told James and Isabel you're really gunna focus on that one?"

"Yep" he chuckled, and I couldn't help it; his laugh was infectious. "I mean, she is my competition after all, and somehow I think she'd make a better impression on your family than I would."

"I think I gave up on caring what they'd think a long time ago."

"True" he reached out and grabbed my hand, turning it over and rubbing his thumb against the traces of spray paint that covered my palm "you do need to be more careful though Frankie. As much as I love you art, getting caught tagging now just isn't a good idea all round. For us, for you, for Dewees. It causes more complications that you don't need right now." 

"I know I know" I sighed, leaning into his touch and desperately wishing we were properly alone. "Linds doesn't really know better though, and I couldn't really explain to her why I was so opposed to tagging near here." 

"Do you want to tell her the truth?" he glanced at the door "because you know if you trust her, so do I. And now i've met her I can see she looks like a good friend." 

"Maybe. I'm not sure. I mean, Mikey, Kellin and Ray already know, and the more people we tell the more likely it is that something will slip, right?" 

"Well" he mused "Mikey and Ray are both family. I know Mikey would never breathe a word, the same with Ray. And although i'm yet to meet Kellin it seems like he's practically family to you these days, taking you in and helping you out." 

"True." 

"So all in all I think our tracks are well covered at the moment. Lynz is a good friend of yours and someone you trust, and she definitely owes you for taking the rap for her in the past. She also already knows about your other secrets and has kept quiet. So I'd say if it makes things easier on you, you can tell her" he grabbed my other hands too and pulled me closer to him. 

"I guess she's going to have plenty of questions anyway" I let my gaze break eye contact and trail down to his lips "and I do trust her. Yeah, I think I will tell her, at least part of it anyway. Thanks Gee." 

"Anytime sugar" he grinned, and I felt a pang of butterflies at the way the nickname rolled of his tongue. I moved closer, almost on autopilot, and pushed my body against his so he was leaning back onto his desk. "Frank-" his breath hitched a little in his throat as he squeezed my hands tighter. 

"I've missed you" I placed a kiss on his neck and he titled his head back with a small moan "especially making out with you in here." There was something so hot about us kissing in that office, the whole congregation downstairs including Brian almighty stood around, oblivious to what we were getting up to. I could feel the adrenaline start to run through my veins just at the very thought of it, and I moved my lips up his neck until there were an inch or so away from his. 

"You're so bad baby" he shuddered, obviously thinking along the same lines, to which I just smirked. 

"You love it though." 

He didn't reply, instead closing the distance between us completely by kissing me, hard and fast and taking me a little by surprise in the process. His lips seemed to mould into mine in a rhythmic pace, hands leaving mine to travel up to my hair and knot themselves there. He leaned further back onto the desk, pulling me with him so he was sitting on it and I was stood between his legs. My hands found themselves travelling up his thighs and grabbing him by the waist, desperate to feel every inch of him pressed against me as possible. Of course, it wasn't nearly enough to satisfy the hormones rushing through me - there were way too many clothes in the way for that. 

"Fuck" I moaned against his mouth, temporarily breaking the kiss "I want you so much right now." 

"Not here" he sighed "not now, anyway" I nodded, but kept kissing him anyway, loving the feel of his hands running through my hair and grabbing fistfuls every now and then. 

A knock on the door made us both jump apart, me springing backwards whilst he slid off the table and attempted to find his breath. 

"Frank" I slumped in relief when it was only Lynz's voice that called through the door "erm, are you nearly ready to go?" 

"Oh, yeah, sorry" I called out before leaning over and giving Gerard one final peck on the lips "can I see you later on today?" 

"I've got a better idea" he grinned, picking up his jacket and striding towards the door. He opened it to reveal a confused looking Lynz, but smiled at her in a completely unfazed manner. "Sorry to keep you waiting, I was actually just saying I'm leaving now anyway, so can give you and Frank a lift home if you like?" 

"Oh" she glanced at me, clearly unsure what to say "erm, thank you-" 

"Great" he turned back to look at me "I need to go tell Brian that i'm off home now, but if you two wait here for five minutes i'll be right back and then I'll drive you both." 

"Sure" I nodded, more for Lynz's reassurance that as an actual answer. He slipped out the door and bounded off, leaving Lynz to walk into the room and raise her eyebrows at me. 

"Frank, what the hell is going on here? Why are you so calm and why is he covering for us? I thought you came here as a punishment?" 

"Okay, I'll explain" I nodded towards the sofa "but it's a bit of long story. You know how I told you about Ian though and you promised not to tell anyone?" 

"How is this related to that?" 

"It's not, but er, I need you to make the same promise again not to tell anyone." She perched on the edge of the sofa and nodded, seeming unfazed. 

"Okay, I promise. I've already proven I can keep your secrets Frank, you can trust me." Fuck it, I guess one more friend knowing could probably be a good thing for me in the long term. And my birthday was only a matter of weeks away now really. 

"Me and Gerard, we... well, we're a thing." 

"A thing..?" she looked at me expectantly "I mean, a bit more clarity would be appreciated here Frank. What do you mean by a thing?" I gave her a sheepish look, and I could see it finally click into place as her expression changed to one of utter shock "wait, you mean... like a thing thing? Like you're seeing each other?" 

"We're kind of in love too" I gulped "so er, your discretion would be greatly appreciated, at least until my birthday but preferably after that too because you know, I can't see this going down too well with the congregation." 

"Holy shit, you're serious" she gaped "you're actually screwing the priest. The priest! This is... well, to be honest Frank it's pretty hilarious and crazy and probably verging on weird, but, well..." she giggled a little "I mean, he is hot, so I guess it's kinda awesome too." 

"Well you're taking this considerably better than Ray did" I chuckled. 

"Ray knows?" 

"He found out. Well, worked it out I guess. And Kellin knows too, but I kinda had to tell him because I live with him, you know?" 

"Oh god, what did Ray do?" 

"Mainly looked like he was about to pass out" I laughed at the memory "you should've seen it, and oh god me and Gerard were freaking out so much, we probably looked like we were going to faint too." 

"This is gold" she shook her head and then suddenly seemed to remember another detail "wait, so you love him though? Like this is a serious thing?" 

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life" I admitted "Honestly, it kills me not to be able to talk about him to you all. He's so amazing." 

"I'm glad" she stood up and embraced me in a tight hug "you deserve happiness Frank, even if you find it in the weirdest of places." 

"Thanks" I grinned, just as Gerard appeared at the office door. 

"Ready?" he took in the scene with a slightly guarded expression, which dropped when I gave him a reassuring smile and a nod. 

"Yep" I turned back to Lynz "thanks for understanding." 

"Anytime, lovebirds" she practically sang, following me towards the door. 

______


	14. 14

The car journey was a lot less awkward than I'd imagined it might be. For starters, Lynz rode in the back and mainly just talked to Gerard about music, whilst I realised how nice it was to be so open in front of her. 

"Hey, is it okay if you guys drop me at Bert's?" she asked tentatively "it's not that far from here and I haven't seen him in a few days. He gets pretty lonely, you know?"

"Of course" Gerard nodded "just gimme directions when we're nearby." I gave an eye roll, which she caught in the wing mirror. 

"Oh come on Frank, he's lonely" she sighed. 

"Just be careful" I sighed, not wanting to get into it all over again. Lynz could be even more stubborn than me sometimes. Luckily, Gerard was quick to change the subject, noticing the shift in mood. 

"So how long have you been tagging Lynz?" he smartly puled the conversation back to graffiti, and immediately Lynz seemed to forget about my remark. 

"Oh well, not long really. Only since I met Frank, but i've always liked art and thought graffiti was cool, but Frank showed me the ropes." 

"You're a natural at it" I nodded, and Gerard smiled over at me. 

"Thanks Frank" She grinned, leaning forward "it's just a left turn up here" she pointed out, and Gerard turned onto the estate, giving me immediate flashbacks of when i'd wandered up the same road when I first met Bert. 

"Which one?" 

"Just another left here" he turned the corner "anywhere along here is great." 

He pulled up on the side of the road, and she grabbed her bag and fixed her hair for a second before smiling somewhat-awkwardly at us both. 

"Um, thanks for the lift, er, father?" she hesitated on the name, clearly unsure. 

"Call me Gerard" he grinned "it was nice to meet you Lynz. I've heard a lot about you." 

"Good" she turned to me "and er, i'm happy you're happy Frank. Just tell me sooner next time yeah?" 

"There won't be a next time, but thank you" I chuckled. 

"I certainly hope not" Gerard winked at me. 

"Well, I'll see you lovebirds later." 

Gerard's car didn't have doors in the back, so I jumped out and pulled the seat back to let her out. As she clambered out, I leaned against the frame and debated having a cigarette. Well, until I heard the familiar voice behind me. 

"Frankie" He all but cooed, sauntering over to us "and Lynz too, man this is my lucky day" Bert seemed almost cat-like in the way he walked, cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. I was pretty sure he was in the same clothes as when I saw him last, although perhaps his hair was a little less greasy. Only a little though. 

"Hi Bert" I said stiffy, whilst Lynz just grinned over at him. 

"Aww Frankie, don't be such a bore" he winked "What are you doing here anyway? More deliveries?" 

"No, just dropping Linds off." 

"Y'know, I heard Ian's run out of stuff for you to deliver anyway" he spoke in a hushed tone "is it true? Did someone make off with a load of his stuff? I heard he's on the warpath you know." 

"Something like that" I shrugged, not really wanting to go into it and especially not when Lynz was stood right there and would know I was talking about Dewees if I let any more slip. 

"Fine, be all tight-lipped about it" he pouted "I'm sure I'll find out all the details when Ian starts bragging about how he fixed it, or rather, once he's found whoever's fucked up." His light tone unnerved me, obviously just seeing it as a piece of gossip instead of someone's life at steak. 

"I guess" I kept the anger out of my voice, or at least tried to. 

"Hopefully he finds him soon though, I wouldn't want to have to start buying off someone else. I doubt other gangs use pretty seventeen year old boys to drop their stuff off." He winked, and Lynz rolled her eyes and stole the cigarette out of his mouth. 

"Stop winding him up Bert". 

"Frank" Gerard's voice from behind me made me jump and turn around. I hadn't even heard him get out the car, but he was stood beside it, collar discarded in the car, giving Bert a very cold, hard look "we should go." 

"Ooh, who's this? Is this your guy Frankie?" Bert clearly didn't really get the memo from Gerard's expression. I glanced at Gerard, not really sure if admitting it would be the best thing, even if it was only to Bert, but that's when Gerard surprised me. 

"Yeah, I am." 

"Oh" Bert was monetarily surprised too "well, I can see why you're sticking around" at this point I started to wonder if there was anyone Bert McCracken wasn't afraid to hit on. 

"We really should go" was all I said in response. 

"Yeah, come on Bert" Lynz tugged at his arm "I think you need to sober up a bit." 

"I haven't been drinking-" 

"Let's just go" she pulled him towards his apartment block, shooting me an apologetic look as they left. 

I ducked back in the car, Gerard following. His collar was off and I could still see the anger in his eyes, and as much as I knew I shouldn't find it hot, I so so did. 

"Sorry about that" I grimaced, but he just leaned across the car and kissed me hard, hands either side of my face. 

"I hate that guy" he shuddered "the way he spoke to you, the thought of you going round there alone-" 

"Hey" I pressed a finger to his lips "it's okay, he's all talk really. Lynz said he's actually pretty harmless, he just flirts a lot because he's lonely." 

"He still doesn't get to flirt with you" he glared over at the door to his apartment. 

"What you gunna do? Banish him to hell?" 

"I'm a priest, not a god" he rolled his eyes, but it did the trick of lifting the mood a little. "I'm serious though Frankie, I hate the thought of anyone flirting with you. Especially people like that. I hope Ian stays run out of drugs for the foreseeable future, and if he doesn't I want to come with you when you deliver the stuff." 

"We both know that's an incredibly stupid idea" I chuckled "I'm used to running around doing illegal crap, you're a priest Gee. Someone sees me round places like this and they don't think twice, but if they saw you they'd definitely wonder what you were up to." 

"I hate it though." 

"I know, me too. But it's how it has to be" his hands were still cradling my face, and as much as I loved it I knew it probably wasn't the best place for us to be kissing. "Now, can we go home?" 

"Of course" He pulled back and started the car, and I glanced once more at Bert's, hoping and praying that Lynz was right about trusting him. 

***

The moment we were inside his house he had me pinned to the wall, which to be honest was becoming a regular occurrence. 

"Gee-" I chuckled against his lips, pushing his jacket off his shoulders "You not gunna even offer me a coffee?" I teased, and he just started kissing my neck. 

"You're mine" he said, working his way along my collar bone "I want everyone to know. I want them to know they can't flirt with you, because you're taken." His kisses became longer and deep as he worked his way up my neck, making me gasp. 

"Fuck" I couldn't help but moan, knowing I was going to be covered in marks when he was done and not caring at all. I loved how jealous he was, it was seriously hot. I'd never had anyone really give a damn before, so for someone to be that upset by one flirtatious comment was a whole new experience for me, and I was probably enjoying it a little bit too much. "I'm yours, baby. Always will be." 

"Good" he moved up to meet my lips again, hands running underneath my t-shirt and up my chest. His touch was hot and cold at the same time, and I could already feel myself getting hard. 

"I want you" I gasped, and I could feel him smirk against my lips. 

"I want you too" he dragged his fingers teasingly down my stomach, disappearing just beneath my belt. I could feel the rush of hormones shoot through me, making my legs shake a little underneath me at how close he was, and yet so not close enough. 

"Baby please" I gasped, trying to fumble with my belt buckle. His hands met mine and finished the job, yet hesitated before he touched me.

"We should go upstairs" he glanced around the hallway we were still in. I just groaned and grabbed him by the hand, all but running towards the stairs in my hormone-filled desperation. 

By the time we got to his room I think both our eyes were dark with wanting each other so much. It had probably only been a few days, but I guess that's a lot when you're desperately in love. I pushed him onto the bed, letting myself fall on top of him in a heap. He was kissing me again, both of us trying to frantically kick off our jeans. 

We rolled so he was on top of me, and I took the opportunity to start on his shirt. 

"Why can't you just wear a fucking t-shirt to work" I glared as each button seemed to take an eternity. 

"It's funner watching you get all frustrated" he grinned, leaning back and being of no help whatsoever. I eventually managed to get it off, and he pulled me up so I was sat up, his knees either side of me. "It's funner when you're naked though" he added, and grabbed the ends of my t-shirt, dragging it over my head. 

Finally, I could feel his skin on mine properly, no barriers between us, and it was like ecstasy. 

"I wanna top baby" I gasped when he shifted in my lap, rubbing against me. We'd taken to switching it up between us pretty regularly now, and although I loved to be dominated by him there were some days when all I wanted was to pin him down and feel every part of him possible. 

He climbed off me and leaned over to the bedside drawer, ignoring my protest moan as he did so and instead returning with the lube.

"Be quick baby" he winked "I can't stand waiting much longer." I gulped, and then gasped when he covered his hand in the stuff and begin to cover me in it, hands moving slowly and teasingly around me in the way that he knew drove me insane. 

"Gee" my voice came out as a groan, eyes rolling back as I felt waves of pleasure crash over me, his slick hands moving faster and faster until I felt painfully stiff "I need you." 

He must've prepped himself a bit when he was jacking me off, because without much warning I felt him hovering over my lap again, sliding down onto me and shuffling a bit, adjusting himself. 

It was almost unbearable, waiting for him to get comfortable, but it was never something i'd rush, too scared to hurt him. After a few moment he began to roll his hips against mine, and that's when I lost it. 

With a string of curses I grabbed him by the hips and thrust up into him, hearing him cry out and grab at handfuls of my hair. His thighs were either side of mine, whilst his head leaned over mine, letting me look right into his eyes. His pupils were dilated and his mouth slightly agape as he moaned, oh god did he have the hottest moan i'd ever heard. 

I tried to pace myself for a while and keep a steady rhythm, tried to hold back and last as long as I could. I could tell he was close though but the way his hands moved down and grabbed me by the shoulders, nails digging into my skin in a way that I knew would leave marks but also felt so fucking good. 

"Oh fuck" he gasped "I'm gunna-" I barley had time to wrap my hand around him before he was coming. The sight of him orgasm was enough to push me over the edge too, and within a minute I felt myself give into it, gasping and groaning. 

"Me too baby." 

We both clung to each other, gathering out breath. Our skin was slightly sweaty and he gradually climbed off me, careful as not to hurt me as he pulled away. As soon as he was free he fell down onto the bed next to me, and for a moment I just watched the rise and fall of his chest, both of us utterly exhausted. 

"love you" I mumbled lazily, and he squeezed my hand. 

"Always, baby."

**

Me and Gerard were lying in bed together, probably about an hour later. My head was resting on his shoulder, his arm snaked around me whilst the other traced lines across my hip, almost as if he was drawing my outline. The rise and fall of his chest was slowly lulling me towards sleep, but I fought the urge to nod off because I didn't want to miss a second of the little time we had together before I had to go back to reality. 

"You're so beautiful" he sighed "even if you do drive me crazy with worry." 

"You're the beautiful one" I grinned up at him, shifting my head so I could meet his gaze "it should be illegal for priests to be this attractive."

"Somehow I think that would just make you like me even more" he chuckled "you seem to be attracted to trouble." 

"If I wasn't, we wouldn't be here right now and you'd still be trying to pretend not to be gay" I reached up and played with the ends of his hair, which was definitely getting longer. It was just past his ears now, and hung in a messy, choppy fashion that drove me crazy. 

"True" he chuckled "you have no idea how much I tried to fight my feelings when I first met you. It was so hard, every time I saw you I just wanted to... well.."

"Jump my bones right there on the church floor?" 

"Something like that" he giggled, tilting my chin up so he could kiss me lightly, his lips brushing mine teasingly. I felt a little shoot of adrenaline rush through me. "You have no idea how irresistible you are." He gazed down at me before a little laugh slipped past his lips. 

"What's funny?" I frowned. 

"Oh, nothing. Well, it's just er, your neck" he blushed a little "it's er, pretty covered in hickeys." 

"Is it even worth trying to cover them up for college tomorrow?"

"I mean, we could try some of my makeup" he bit his lip "but er, I don't think it'll do much good." 

"Good" I kissed him "I want everyone to know i'm taken anyway. Well, maybe not Jimmy. Jimmy is definitely going to bombard me with questions. And Chantal. Fuck." 

"At least Kellin and Lynz know now" he shrugged "I'm sure they'll help you out at changing the subject. Or better yet, why not just admit you're seeing someone? I mean, it's only a month and a bit till your birthday and then we'll be legal anyway." 

"Are you sure? It's a bit risky after all." 

"Yeah, just tell them they can't meet me just yet" he shifted so we were sitting a bit more upright, propped up by the pillows behind us "as long as you promise me to keep out of trouble until then, yeah?" 

"Define trouble..." 

"No tagging, no messing with Ian unless absolutely necessary, no letting Dewees out the house until we get him a place at rehab, no winding up your best friends evil stepmothers. Just be as boring as possible for the next month." 

"No tagging?" I pouted "what about just a little bit of tagging..." 

"Well, I can't tell you to stop completely, but maybe be sensible about it. No more church garden walls" he rolled his eyes "because i'm definitely not looking forward to Brian finding that." 

"I am" I chuckled "he's so going to know it was me and yet he's gunna have no way to prove it. It'll drive him insane."

"Yeah well you don't have to work with him." 

"True. But at least he likes you." 

"Somehow I think that'll change once he knows about this" he cupped my face and ran his thumb along my cheekbone. 

"Do you think he'll fire you?" I watched his reaction closely. He considered it for a moment, eyes locked on the window as he spoke. 

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not too sure. The rules are kind of unclear, and although you're legal it'll still be frowned upon heavily. Especially the age gap and, well, you know..." 

"The gay bit?" 

"Yeah, unfortunately." He frowned "I just don't really know about the whole thing anymore Frankie. It just doesn't seem right for me sometimes, you know? I wanted to help people, but not to sacrifice being happy in the process."

"Maybe you should leave." Maybe I was being selfish, but the idea of having him all to myself was so tempting. I wouldn't care where we went or what we did, only that we got away from these problems and started afresh. 

"I'm thinking about it" his voice was small, timid even. "All I know is that you make me happier than i've ever been. And if the church won't accept us, then I'm not interested anymore. God isn't about discriminating against people based on who they love, he's about loving everyone. If they can't see that, then they're not the people I thought they were." 

"Amen" I smiled, and he giggled at that, forgetting his skeptical mood and instead pulling me ever-closer, distracting himself by pressing more kisses to my skin.


	15. 15

Chapter Fifteen 

Walking into college the next day was very weird. So much had happened and yet at the same time, nothing had really changed. I still had to listen to my English teacher droan on about preparing for exams, and I still spent most of music messing aroudn with Oli and Kellin and not really getting much actual work done. We all still sat at the same table at lunch too, although Ray had started to come sit with us too which was nice. 

"Hey" He'd smiled, catching me and Jimmy walking out of English "do you mind if I sit with you guys today?" 

"Of course" I grinned "Ray, that would be so good. I've missed you." 

"I've missed you too, believe me" he chuckled "my house is getting unbearable without you to stir things up a bit. It's so monotonous and boring." I guess that was one thing that had changed; now I walked to college with Kellin instead of getting a lift with Ray. And I was no longer obliged to walk to the church afterwards, although I kinda missed that part of last year's routine. 

"I'm gunna wait to Chantal, I'll catch up with you guys" Jimmy leaned against the door, and me and Ray started to make our way towards the canteen. 

"So" Ray said immediately once Jimmy was out of earshot "what's going on with you? I haven't heard from you in a few days and if I've learnt anything it's that you an get yourself in all sorts of trouble within a short space of time."

"Well, I'm still being blackmailed into being in a gang and screwing a priest if that's what you mean" he rolled his eyes. 

"Well that much I know, but are you okay? Have they made you deal any more?" 

"Actually not much. There's been some issues with Dewees and well, they're a bit short on drugs to deal out" I'd made a vow not to lie to Ray at all anymore, and I intended to stick to it. "So I guess I'm temporarily redundant." 

"You mean Dewees messed up their supplies? Shit Frank" his eyes widened, scanning the crowds around us "they don't sound like very forgiving people, what's he going to do?"

"He's... hiding. At the moment anyway." 

"Why do I get the feeling you know more about this than you should?" 

"Because you have good instincts" I chuckled "but er, I do seriously think the less you know about where he is the better. I don't want to put you in any trouble Ray." 

"Okay" he nodded "I get that. But you're clearly putting yourself in trouble too by helping him. He's older than you anyway, he needs to take care of himself and you certainly shouldn't be dragged into this mess." 

"I know, I know, I'm keeping my head down" I wasn't really used to this many people caring about me putting myself in trouble's way, but it was kind of nice to have people telling me to look after myself. "believe me, I've already promised Gee several times that i'll not try anything stupid." 

"Good, he's a good influence on you, you know?" He pushed open the canteen doors "but he's seemed pretty uptight and nervous in church recently so I figured he's been worrying about you." 

"He has?" 

"Well, it's probably not that noticeable to anyone else, but yes, if you could see him you'd see the difference too. He prays really intensely too. At first I thought it was because he might be having doubts about his job, and maybe it is, but I think he's mainly just praying to keep you safe." My heart melted a little at that. I hated that I worried him, but a selfish part of me also was loving the fact that he was thinking about me so much, even during the services. 

"Have your parents said anything about me?" I changed the subject, although part of me wanted to just keep talking about all the little things Gerard did in church that I couldn't see anymore. 

"A little. My mum wanted me to check that you turned up to college for her, and your parents have been on the phone a few times but i'm not really sure how much they told them. Dad doesn't really talk about you much at all, but I think he's just angry. And bored. Disciplining you took up quite a bit of time and now he has nobody to yell at" he chuckled and glanced over at me "which is probably a good thing because if he saw those hickeys on your neck he'd flip." 

"Oh yeah" I put a hand to my collar self consciously "the make-ups not really helping then?" 

"Nope. They're massive Frank. What was he trying to do - draw blood?" 

"What can I say, he's a lot kinkier than your average priest." 

He rolled his eyes and did a dramatic shudder "oh god, now i'm going to have to sit in church on sunday and look at him and pretend to take him seriously and all i'll be able to think about is that. Seriously. No details on your sex life. Ever." 

"Deal" we reached the others by this point, and I tried to sit down quickly and not draw too much attention to myself. 

Luckily throughout lunch it seemed Lynz was the only one who looked at my hickeys and met my eyes with an arched eyebrow. Kellin had already seen them when I got home the night before, so all in all I did pretty well. 

After college me and Kellin headed into town, and Lynz ended up coming along because she was walking to her dads and wanted to waste some time along the way. 

"So" I asked as soon as it was just the three of us "how was Bert yesterday?" 

"He's alright really Frank, once he drops that whole overconfident over-flirtatious act, he's okay. That's just the front he puts up when he's nervous." 

"I'm sure you're probably right Lynz, but maybe you should be careful how much time you spend with him at the moment" Kellin reasoned before I could respond "Frank's in a lot of trouble at the moment and needs to lie low-" 

"I know, Bert said Dewees is missing and that Ian wants him to find him" she turned to me "which you could've told me by the way."

"Sorry" I grimaced "I was going to, I promise." 

"It's okay, I understand. But I think it's better if we all carry on as normal as if we have nothing to hide right? I made sure I told Bert that you have no idea where Dewees is, so there's really no reason I should suddenly stop hanging out round there, and you shouldn't act too worried about it in front of him either." 

"I guess so." 

"I'm not gunna ask if you actually do know where he is because I'm not sure I want to know the answer, but whatever your plan is I suggest you act fast, Bert says he doesn't think this will end well for anyone involved" she sighed "and as much as Dewees can be a pain, he doesn't deserve what they'd do to him." 

"Agreed" Kellin shuddered. "We won't let it come to that though." 

**

When me and Kellin got home we were both relived to find Dewees sober, steady and sat on the sofa. He'd even got dressed and looked like he'd showered, which was a definite improvement to his normal routine of wallowing in self pity in various locations around Kellin's house. 

"Hey guys" he smiled "how was college?" 

"Good thanks" Kellin chucked his backpack down "what about you though? You look better." 

"I feel it" he nodded "I mean, I'm still craving and the shakes were really bad after you left, but they've settled a bit now." 

"And you haven't been outside?" I checked. 

"No. It was tough without you guys here, I won't lie. I was tempted, you know, when the cravings got real bad, but I stopped myself. I kept thinking about how much you're both risking for me, and I found some more self control out of that I guess." I appreciated his honesty, but of course it made my stomach knot with anxiety. All it would take was one relapse on his part, one risk taken for a fix, and we could all be done for. 

"Good, I'm glad" I sighed "just call us if it gets real bad again okay? I don't mind skipping college if you need me." 

"Thanks man, but I'll be okay. I've got this. I've got to, for all our sakes." 

"Frank's, er, friend, if working on getting you a rehab place real soon" Kellin nodded encouragingly "and when he does you'll get proper help. Not just us giving you pep talks and toast." 

"The same friend that gave you those hickeys?" Dewees grinned, and they both laughed when I blushed. 

"Shut up both of you" I grabbed a nearby cushion and threw it in their direction, missing spectacularly. Of course, this just caused further laughter at my expense. 

"Oh come on Frank, you let him do that to your neck and you're just asking to be teased" Kellin giggled "you're just lucky Jimmy hasn't noticed them yet. Then you'll really be in for it." 

"Fuck you, i'm going to find more makeup" I groaned, grabbing my bad and heading up to my room as they continued to joke and laugh about how I must be dating a vampire to have such a battered neck. 

**

About an hour or later Gerard phoned, taking me by surprise. 

"Hey" I answered before it had even reached the third ring, probably sounding way too excited for a Monday night. 

"I've got the best news" he jumped in immediately without so much as a hello in response. 

"hmm lemme guess, you told Brian to fuck off and he did?" 

"No-"

"You've found a new job where it's okay to be in a gay relationship with an almost-eighteen year old, and so will soon be telling Brian to fuck off but just haven't got round to it yet?" 

"No Frank, shut up!" he giggled "you're ruining it!" 

"Okay okay" I sighed dramatically "go on then, but if it doesn't at least involve you telling him to piss off i'm gunna be sad." 

"Actually, it's nothing to do with him at all and is about far more pressing issues" I could tell he was doing that smile where he was so pleased with himself, and I wished I could see it properly in person. "It's that rehab I was telling you about." 

"Oh shit" I sat up "did they get back to you?" 

"Yep, they've got a place going. They said they can take him Wednesday morning." 

"You're the best" I all but shouted down the phone "Oh god Gee, this really is amazing news. He's gunna be so happy, and safe, and Wednesday too - that's so soon!" 

"Told you being a priest has some benefits." 

"Where abouts is it?" 

"Only about 45 minutes drive from here. Far enough away that he'll be safe. If you like, I can come pick him up Wednesday morning and take him?" 

"I'm coming too." There was no way I was going to miss this because of college. I had to make sure he made it there okay, had to see him get signed in and safely handed over into proper care. Only then would I be able to relax a little. 

"If you're sure." 

"I am. Thank you so much for this Gee, I mean it. I love you." 

"I love you too baby" he sighed happily "now go tell him the good news and I'll see you tomorrow yeah?" 

***

"Fuck yes" Kellin grinned and all but jumped on me in a hug "I knew we'd be okay Frank, I knew we'd get this sorted!" 

"Kellin you're suffocating him" Dewees chuckled, but the relief on his face was obvious. My news had lifted the mood that had settled on the house for the past week or so, and now suddenly we all couldn't stop smiling. "But seriously Frank, how the hell did you manage to get me a place so fast?" 

"He's got friends in high places" Kellin winked. 

"Are you fucking the therapist there or something? Seriously? How?" Kellin giggled, and I knew he was holding back a 'it's far worse than that' remark. 

"No" I shook my head "but er, the guy that sorted it all out for you is gunna come here Wednesday morning and take us there so you can thank him yourself then." 

"Cool" he nodded, deciding to drop the subject for now. I knew he'd probably ask me more about it later, but I was grateful for the thinking space. At this point, I didn't really care if Dewees knew about me and Gerard, but I didn't want to give him too much of a shock. 

"Do you need me to come too?" Kellin asked, stepping away from me now that the initial excitement had passed. 

"It's okay, it's probably better if you show your face at college so people don't ask why we were both bunking." 

"True, if Jimmy thinks he's missing out on something he wont quit digging till he finds out what we're up to without him." He stretched and yawned, glancing at the time "well, i'm gunna go get some sleep. I need to call Vic and we;re gunna have a busy day tomorrow getting everything sorted." 

"Night" I sighed, watching him walk out the room and up the stairs. I flopped down onto the sofa next to Dewees, and for a moment we both sat there in comfortable silence. 

"I can't believe i'm getting out of here" Dewees grinned, almost more to himself than to me, before lifting his head up to look me in the eye "I can't thank you enough for this Frank." 

"It's okay." 

"No, really. You had a choice, you know? You could've left me to keep going, keep using. You could've left me to burn out or get killed and honestly, nobody would've blamed you for it. You had your own life to save. But you didn't. You stuck by me when nobody else did, time and time again. You've saved my life Frank, and now you're helping me turn it around and i'm just so fucking grateful and yet all I give you in return is more agro." 

"All I want in return is for you to fix yourself up and be okay. Then it'll all be worth something" I smiled. 

"You're amazing, you know that? Because I know a lot of people tell you you're not, but you are. One day I hope I can repay you for this properly, but for now I'm gunna focus on getting myself sorted." 

"Thanks" I chuckled "you know, before I moved here everyone except my friend Pete thought I was worth shit, but now, well, you've all actually got me believing I might be alright." 

"by 'all' do you mean the guy that's helped you get the rehab place?" he raised an eyebrow, and I just blushed a little. "It's okay Frank, I know I used to like you but you can talk about your boyfriend around me. I mean, I'm gunna meet him anyway right?" 

"Oh, it's not that, I do wanna talk about him" I rushed "He's just er, a bit unconventional, that's all." 

"It's okay, I won't press it" he smiled softly "I'm just glad he's treating you right. In another life, one where I'm not so fucked up and where I met you sooner, I'd like to think I would've done the same." 

I didn't really know what to say to that, and luckily it seemed he wasn't waiting for a reply, because with that he stood up and walked off in the direction of his room, not looking back. I sat there for a while longer - I wasn't really sure how long - thinking over his words, and about Gerard, and about how many crossroads in my life had been and gone.


	16. 16

Chapter Sixteen 

It was Wednesday morning. 

Dewees was downstairs drinking coffee with Kellin, his bags packed at his feet as he shifted nervously. I guess the reality of going to rehab was hitting him now, but the encouragement he'd received from me and Kellin, combined with escaping the threat of Ian, was enough to keep his cold feet at bay. 

"You'll be fine" Kellin reassured him as I walked into the kitchen "this is going to be the best decision you ever make." 

"I hope so" he gulped, and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I didn't have to look to know it would be Gerard texting to say he was outside. He was never late to anything, especially not for something like this. 

"Come on" I picked up one of his bags for him "it's time." 

When we got outside the house I saw Gerard had pulled up right in front, and was leaning on the side of the car. His priest collar was gone, thank god, and instead he wore a The Smiths t-shirt with his leather jacket and black jeans. He looked so normal without the collar, and so much younger too. Dewees didn't even bat an eyelid at his appearance, just gave an awkward smile. 

"Hi" he mumbled, but Gerard reached out and shook his hand. 

"Hi Dewees, I'm Gerard" He smiled warmly "sorry we haven't met before, but Frank's told me all about you." 

"That's probably not a good thing" Dewees gave a sad smile "but thanks for you help. It means a lot." 

"No problem. We should probably get going though, don't want to hang around here longer than necessary." we all agreed on that one, and I hopped in the front as Kellin hugged Dewees goodbye and helped him get in the back of the car with his stuff. Gerard got in beside me, and we exchanged silent smiles with each other whilst the other two were distracted. 

"Ready?" I turned back to Dewees and he gives a small nod, and just like that we're driving off, leaving Kellin to retreat to his front door and finish getting ready for college. Gerard seemed to sense my nerves, and leaned across to squeeze my hand. It was only brief, but it did the trick of calming me.

I stole a glance back at Dewees in the rearview mirror to see he was looking out the window. If he saw, he wasn't letting on. All the same, I felt awkward being coupley in front of a guy I'd once kissed, and still seemed to like me a little. It wasn't really fair on him, and I feel like Gerard would've pushed it more if we were in a different situation, but knew better than to complicate things further when Dewees was already going through such a rough time. 

Instead he turned on the radio, and started humming softly under his breath to the music. It was faint enough that Dewees probably couldn't hear him that well, but I could just about make out the words. 

We were silent for a while after that. Dewees would ask the occasional question about the facilities at the rehab, and Gerard knew some answers but not all of them. He did his best to be helpful though, even when I started asking questions too. 

"How confidential is it?" I asked "you know, if someone on the outside wanted to visit."

"Highly. You have to be on the list of visitors, not that you should of course. Too risky." 

"Can I have anyone on my visitors list?" Dewees piped up from the back. 

"Yeah of course, I was thinking we could put your friend Kellin on it. He's not as directly linked to Frank, so that should be fine. And I'll leave my number with them too so if you urgently need to get hold of us you can always call me." 

"Okay" he went quiet again after that, and it suddenly hit me that I wouldn't be able to have any contact with him once he entered rehab. It would be way too risky to visit him or to call him unless I used Kellin's phone. I knew it was for the best, but I still felt a bit left out. 

"We're almost there" Gerard declared, turning down a small country road "I hope you'll like it, it's got a nice garden and I've heard nothing but good things about it." Dewees just nodded, probably pretty scared at this point. Before, rehab had been a pipe-dream, but now it was real and imminent. 

Sure enough, we turned down another road and saw a large house. If it wasn't for the high wall surrounding it, you wouldn't know it wasn't just a large country home. 

Gerard had to speak over the intercom before they opened the gates, but after that it didn't take long to pull over in the car park and start to gather up Dewees things. He was still sat in the back, gazing up at his new home. Gerard seemed to sense his nerves and hopped out the car, mumbling something about grabbing the bags, and I shot him a thankful glance. 

"Hey" I turned round to face him "it's gunna be okay, you know. This is the terrifying bit, but you'll soon adjust, and you'll get better here Dewees, you can turn it all around." 

"I can't stay in there forever though, can I? I'll have to come out and face the world eventually." 

"True, but for now it's a pretty good answer to our problems. We'll cross that bridge when you come to it, but we'll all be here for you and we'll get it all figured out. You'll see" I grinned, and he cracked a genuine smile back. 

"Thanks Frank" he unbuckled his seatbelt "you're right. And er, thanks to your boyfriend too. He seems like a nice guy." 

"He is" I sighed, and got out the car. 

**

Checking Dewees in didn't take all that long. I helped him fill out the paperwork whilst Gerard spoke to the head psychologist about how important it was that Dewees not have any visitors that weren't specified on the paperwork. 

After that, they were ready to show Dewees to his room, and it had come time for us to leave him. 

"I'll meet you in the car" Gerard said, hand subtly pressed on the small of my back. He turned to Dewees then "good luck. I know you'll be fine here." 

"Thank you" he sighed, and then Gerard walked back towards the entrance, and it was just me and Dewees standing awkwardly in the reception area. "Well, I guess this is it then" he smiled, and I pulled him in for a hug. 

"It's gunna be okay" I wasn't sure who I was reassuring more, but it seemed to work. 

"You should go. I've got this" he pulled back, seeming more confident. "Thanks again for everything Frank." 

***

"You okay?" Gerard asked as we drove away from the centre. 

"Yeah, it's such a relief to get him to rehab, but I hadn't really thought about what I do next" I confessed. "I mean, I kept thinking about how i've gotta get him out, but now i've actually got to figure out how to get myself out of Ian's shit too. And I can't see how." 

"We'll figure it out. Together" he sighed "but for now let's just celebrate this small victory, okay? Do you have to get straight back? Because I've got all day if you wanna do something." 

"That sounds perfect" I grinned, mood instantly lifted "what did you have in mind?" 

"Let's go somewhere nobody knows who we are. Anywhere but here will do." 

That's how we ended up driving another twenty minutes or so away from home, just to be doubly sure we were far enough away from anyone we could possibly know, and deep into the countryside. 

"Do you know where you're going?" I asked when he turned down an obscure beaten track. 

"Actually, I do" he grinned "I came here once before when I was on my way back from a meeting" he turned again, into a small car park that could probably only fit about five cars "I needed someplace quiet to think and relax, and I found this perfect. Hopefully you will too." 

"What's so special about it?" To me, all I could see were normal woods.

"Nothing and everything" He mused, causing me to roll my eyes. 

"Stop being so poetic about a bunch of trees" I said, jumping out of the car. 

"Sorry" He met me at the front of the car and took my hand in his "what I mean is that there's nothing obviously special about it, but it's special to me." 

"Better, but still cryptic" he just chuckled and pulled me down the footpath into the woods. 

"Come on, it's not that far." 

It was about a ten minute walk through various beaten tracks and a few ditches to climb, but eventually Gerard stopped abruptly, almost causing me to walk into the back of him. Luckily, I caught myself, and instead peered round his shoulder to see where we had arrived. 

We were at a clearing in the woods that surrounded a large pond, but surrounding this pond built into the hillside were caves. They weren't particularly deep, but they still looked cool, and the whole place definitely did feel a million miles away from home. 

"Pretty, right?" He turned to face me, still holding my hand and using it to pull me closer to him. 

"It's certainly far enough away" I nodded, letting him pull me down onto the grass so that we were sat next to each other, his thumb rubbing circles in the palm of my hand. "But why is it so special to you?" 

"Because of you."

"What do you mean? You said you came here on the way back from a meeting, and I've certainly never been here before." 

"You didn't need to" he chuckled at my puzzled expression "when I first met you, I was instantly attracted to you. Like, I'd never felt like that before. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know if you were gay, and at the time I was in denial about it all, plus I knew you were seventeen and it just felt like I had this massive temptation right in front of me that I'd never be able to have." 

"I didn't realise you felt that way when you first met me." 

"Of course I did. Why do you think I lied for you the day we first met? I didn't really know what came over me, but I was instantly protective of you" he smiled down at our entwined hands "anyway, I didn't know what to do or how to cope. Then there was that day when I snapped at you and you stormed off early from church, and I felt awful. I knew I'd just taken out my frustration on you, and I just needed to get away, so I got in my car and just drove and drove until I finally needed to stop for a cigarette." 

"And that's when you found this place?" I guessed, and he nodded. 

"I stumbled across it, and I ended up sitting here for ages, until it was almost completely dark, just thinking about what to do. Wondering how I could help you without letting my feelings get in the way, wondering how we could have been thrown together in such strange circumstances and yet at the same time still be forbidden from being anything more than acquaintances." 

"Did you reach an answer?" 

"Sort of" he smiled "I mean, no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get you out of my head. And I started to wonder if maybe we were meant to meet this way, if maybe I could use how much I cared about you for good. So I decided that I would be there for you as much as I could, even when nobody else would be, even if it meant having to suppress how I feel." 

"Gee" I whispered "that's so... I had no idea you felt so deeply so quickly." I mean, I'd fancied him from the moment I saw him, but I never would have guessed he even felt a tiny bit the same way. He always seemed so relaxed and upbeat. 

"Well, this is where I realised how quickly I was falling for you" he smiled fondly up at the trees "it's nice to be back here with you this time. To know that it worked out, that we've been able to help each other and ourselves by being together." 

"Like therapy, but cheaper and more illegal?" I raised an eyebrow, and he let out a high pitched giggle. 

"It's only illegal for a few more weeks. Then it's just cheaper and highly frowned upon." 

"Groundbreaking" I rolled my eyes, but he shut me up by pulling me closer to him and kissing me, soft and slow as if his lips were melting into mine. His fingers traced lightly down the side of my cheek and onto my neck, making me shiver despite the warm September air around us. 

"I love you" he sighed, pulling away but keeping his face close to mine "I love you a scary, stupid amount." 

"I love you too" I sighed, and for once my problems seemed to melt away as he kissed me again, just the two of us in our little bubble of temporary peace. 

***

When I got home that evening, and after telling Kellin everything that had happened when we dropped off Dewees, I realised I hadn't actually spoken to Pete in like two weeks, and the immediate guilt that hit me resulted in me skyping him about half an hour later. 

"You're alive then" he just chuckled over video, not seeming to care about our temporary lapse in effort to stay in touch "I was starting to get curious as to what was occupying so much of your time." 

"Sorry" I sighed, balancing the laptop on my knees "things have been pretty hectic, and I should've caught up with you sooner, I know." 

"It's cool" he shrugged "things have been pretty busy here too. Well, me and Patrick are really good at the moment so i've been spending most my time with him, but I did some tagging the other day. I figured someone had to keep it up now you're gone."

"Good, I wouldn't want officer McManor getting bored now that he can't chase me all over town" I grinned, so relieved that things were still fine between me and Pete. Our friendship was one of those where it didn't matter how long we went without speaking; we still picked up exactly where we left off. 

"Hey, speaking of you being banished to England, how come you're not coming home? Now that you're uncle's chucked you out and all." 

"It's complicated" I sighed "I mean, I want to finish college here, and my friends are all really nice and Kellin's letting me live with him which is far better than coming home to live with my parents again, and, well, there's this guy too." 

"Yeah yeah I see how it is" he teased "give up coming home for some loverboy." 

"I actually am in love, you know." 

"Shit, I didn't realise it was that serious" his eyebrows shot up a little "when do I actually get to meet him then? or see a photo, or a name, or like, anything. I'm clutching at straws here Frank." He seemed a little hurt, and I guess I could see why. He'd poured his heart out to me about Patrick and now I wouldn't even tell him the name of the guy I was in love with. 

"I know, I'm sorry, I can't tell you loads now but I will be able to really really soon. I promise." 

"Okay, I trust you" he nodded, and dropped the subject after that, instead telling me all the idle gossip of the town that I couldn't say I really missed, but was still funny to hear about. Especially as Pete Wentz was a total gossiper and seemed to know exactly who was screwing who throughout the entire community. Just as well he was the other side of the atlantic, otherwise he'd definitely have figured out me and Gerard by now. 

It was only when I finally hung up on our skype call after almost an hour long catch up that my phone began to ring, and I saw the one number I hated most flash up on the screen. 

With a groan, I answered, knowing it was unavoidable. 

"Hello?" 

"Iero" Ian snapped "you got anything on Dewees yet?" 

"No" my answer was instinctively fast, and something i'd be rehearsing to myself for days in the event of him calling "I'm sorry, Ian, but it really is a dead end. He's gone and nowhere to be seen." 

"It's not a dead end until I find him" he growled back "but you and him know each other, you have mutual friends and someone is bound to know where he's hiding. I need you to try harder." 

"I know, I will do" I sighed "but I don't have anything new to tell you." 

"Well in that case you better make yourself of some sort of use. I've got a new shipment coming in next week, so i'll be needing you to run errands for me again." 

"Okay." 

"And Frank? Remember who's most important to stay on the right side of." He hung up then, and I threw my phone down beside me and groaned into my hands. It didn't matter how many times I spoke to him on the phone, each call still filled me with the same dread as the first time I met him. 

**


	17. 17

Seventeen 

"We should celebrate, you know" Kellin said to me in music a few days later.

"What, a we-successfully-smuggled-our-friend-to-rehab party?" I rolled my eyes and continued to tune my guitar. Oli was bunking to go to a gig in London with Hannah, so it was just me and Kellin in the practice rooms.

"No need to get so sarcastic, it's not like other people need to know what we're celebrating. Last time I checked people weren't fussed as to why I have parties, just that I have them."

"Go ahead if you want to" I sighed "but I can't say i'm really in the mood at the moment."

"Spoilsport" now it was his turn to roll his eyes "well, your birthdays in like a month so we're definitely having a big party for that. Fancy dress of course, for halloween, but maybe some sort of street-art themed decorations..."

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that side of things."

"How could you forget to plan your 18th birthday party?" he cried "it's like, a rite of passage!"

"I guess I've been so busy thinking of it as the day me and Gerard can finally tell people about us, I hadn't really thought about normal birthday things." We didn't intend to tell people straight away to make it look like it was something that had evolved when I was already eighteen, but from that day onwards I at least knew we were legal.

"Well stop thinking about giving the congregation heart attacks with your secret relationships and start thinking about what sort of cake you want. Seriously, I want to plan this properly."

"Okay, I promise I'll think about it" I chuckled, fishing in my pocket for a guitar pick "now can we actually write some music?" 

**

I was headed out of college later on, Kellin already gone to meet Vic in town, when I found myself being approached by Ryan, the kid that worked with Ray in the record store.

"Hey" he smiled, taking me by surprise.

"oh hey, Ryan - isn't it?" I kept walking and he fell into step beside me. 

"Yeah that's right. We met briefly a few weeks ago." 

"I remember, you work with my cousin." 

"Yeah, Ray's great" He nodded "I er, wanted to talk to you actually. About your art. Ray sort of mentioned that you do tagging, and I've seen your stuff around town. Or at least, i'm pretty sure it's yours. It kind of stands out, you know?" 

"Thanks man" I smiled warmly at him. "I'm er, not used to getting recognised for it, what with it being anonymous and all, but it means a lot that you can spot my stuff." 

"Of course, you've got a really distinct style" He slowed his pace then and I slowed mine too, watching him start to rummage around in his backpack "that's why I wanted to give you this, hold on a sec, it's in here somewhere" he eventually pulled out a piece of paper. 

"What's this?" I asked as he handed it to me. 

"A competition of sorts. My uncle, he runs this art gallery up in London and he's looking for fresh talent. Young artists in need of a break, that sort of thing. So he's doing this competition where you enter your artwork and the winner gets to have their art exhibited. I told him about this really cool young street artist I knew and he sounded interested, said I should get you to enter. So here you are." 

I glanced over the flyer, and it all seemed pretty legit. 

"Woah, I don't know what to say. Thanks Ryan. But er, none of my stuff is really on canvas fit for exhibition, you know?" 

"It doesn't have to be. Take photos of your street art and send them in. Or do some big canvas pieces. If he likes your stuff enough then you can both figure out how you'd display it. The point is you should enter. You seem like a guy in need of a break." 

"Fuck it, I guess I have nothing to loose" I laughed, putting the flyer in my pocket "when's the deadline?" 

"Two weeks. I know it's not long, but really all you need is some photos of your work and if he likes it he'll contact you." 

"Two weeks. Right." 

"Good luck" we'd reached the entrance to college now. 

"Thanks man, it means a lot." 

"Anytime." He peeled off in the direction of the car park then, and I turned to head in the opposite direction, endless possibilities floating round my head. 

**

I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up too much, but the whole walk home the competition as the only thing on my mind. 

As soon as I got back to Kellin's I asked to borrow his camera, figuring that if I was going to photograph my street art I better make it look a bit more professional that taking them on my phone. I wanted to make sure all the detail was visible. He was more than happy to lend it to me, especially when he heard my reasoning. 

"That's so great" he grinned, handing me the probably very expensive camera "borrow it for as long as you need. I'm taking some photos of Vic's next gig next weekend for him, but apart from that I don't need it back anytime soon." 

So I headed out that very afternoon, walking round the various spots in town that i'd tagged. It turned out they were pretty spread out, so it took me a while to walk round them all, and then get the right angles and close ups of them all, making sure I had a few photos of each one. 

I ended up back at the church wall me and Lynz had tagged, deciding to make that my last stop on purpose just so I could see if Gerard's car was parked out front. Sure enough, I spotted it in it's usual place, and the temptation to go in and see him clawed at me. I glanced around, looking for Brian's car, and couldn't see it in it's usual spot. 

"Fuck it" I sighed to myself, and trudged through the car park and into the church foyer. 

I held onto the camera, figuring if I did bump into Brian I could say I was taking photos of the church for an art project for college. Technically, I wasn't that far from the truth; I had come to take photos of the church wall, I was just taking a slight detour. 

I peered into the main church, eyes scanning the pews until I saw the familiar black mess of hair sat on one of the front rows. I couldn't see what he was doing, but it looked like he was deep in concentration, and appeared to be completely alone. 

"Hey" I called over, and he jumped with a start, dropping whatever he'd been holding and spinning round to face me with a yelp. 

"Jeez Frank" He giggled, standing up "you could knock, you know." 

"Wasn't sure if you were alone." 

"I am" he leaned down and scooped up the item he'd dropped, which I could now see was a comic "Brian's at a meeting so as you can see i'm having an incredibly productive afternoon." 

"I didn't realise the bible came in comic format" I peered down into his hands, seeing it was some sort of obscure comic i'd not heard of. 

"That's actually a pretty cool idea" he mused "although somehow I don't think the general congregation would be that keen..." 

"All the more reason to do it" I winked, and he placed the comic down on the pew bench and leaned forward, fingers closing over my own. 

"What are you doing here anyway? This is a bit out of your way now, isn't it?" 

"Maybe I was missing you" I grinned "well, and I was taking photos of all my art over town, so you know, returning to the scene of the crime."

"Is that wise?" he frowned "I mean, going all over town isn't really keeping a low profile." 

"It's okay, it's for an art competition" I sighed, putting the camera down next to his comic now that I knew we were alone. "The winner gets to be part of this exhibition of young artists, although I'm not sure exactly why or how they'd chose a graffiti artist." 

"That's great news!" he beamed "and of course they'll love your stuff - how could they not?" 

"Well even if they do there's still all the legal stuff they'd have to sort out seeing as most of my art is on public or private walls." 

"They'll work it out" he brushed away my concerns with a flick of his free wrist, the other hand still resting over my own and giving it a slight squeeze. "Some art is worth the extra effort." 

"You're in a good mood today" I noted. 

"Mikey rang about half an hour ago" he beamed "he's coming over to visit tomorrow, he has some meeting to go to in London for work but he's managed to convince his boss to let him come a few days earlier so he can spend some time here." 

"That's great" hopefully this time i'd make a better first impression than when i'd surprised him by falling over wearing nothing but my underwear. On top of the fact that I was a seventeen year old boy in his brothers house. 

"Now you don't have to rush home to your aunt and uncles we can spend some proper time together too" he seemed to read my mind "you and him only got to meet a few times last time he was over and I really would love you too to get to know each other better." 

"It means a lot that you want us to get on well" I kissed him briefly "I'd say I want you to bond with my relatives, but the only one I'm currently on speaking terms with is Ray." 

"Having Ray is better than having no one" He reassured me "but all the same, I'd like you to be able to think of me and Mikey as your family too one day." 

"That sounds good" I imagined a Christmas day where me and Gerard had our own place, with Mikey and Ray coming to visit, and smiled to myself. Now that was a family I could get on board with. 

"Anyway, how was the rest of your day?" 

"Alright" I shrugged "Just wanna be out of there already and earning money." 

"It'll come round quicker than you think, I mean it's only like a month till your birthday now right? And then after Christmas has come and gone you'll only have a few months till you're done there." 

"I know, Kellin's already planning some sort of massive birthday party" I rolled my eyes. 

"You don't have to sound so excited" he chuckled sarcastically "come on, it's your eighteenth, that's a big deal, especially over here. You'll finally be legally able to do all the things you've been doing since you were fifteen." 

"Try thirteen" I thought back to just how young i'd been when I started my stream of bad habits. 

"Why am I not surprised?" he put his comic down to one side and wrapped an arm around my waist, leaning one of his legs against mine. "You deserve to celebrate your birthday with your friends. As long as I get to see you too." 

"You should come" I blurted before I could chicken out "to the party, I mean. I'll be legal then, not that we have to tell them we're in a relationship. Some of them already know anyway, but you could come as my friend or something."

"A priest at a party?" he mused "sure I would't kill the vibe entirely?" 

"As long as you don't turn up with your collar on and ignore the signs of underage drinking I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid. Besides, it's fancy dress anyway. Perks of being born on Halloween. Just dress up and hopefully nobody will recognise you." 

"Sounds fun" he grinned, leaning in to kiss me far too briefly for my liking "you should probably get going before Brian gets back from his meeting, but do you wanna come over for dinner tomorrow with me and Mikey?"

"Of course. I'll try and wear more than just my boxers this time" I winked, loving how his cheeks flared ever so slightly pink at the memory. 

"Probably for the best" he nodded, leaning forward and kissing me properly, pushing my back against the pew so that our bodies were pressed tightly together in a way he knew would drive me crazy. There was something about kissing him in that church that always set a fire in me, just knowing where we were and what we were doing was enough to set my mind racing. 

"How long till Brian's back?" I asked, purposely kissing a spot on his neck just about his collar. 

"Not long enough" He groaned, tilting his head back automatically "believe me, if I thought we had enough time I would've initiated this the moment you walked in here." He leaned down again to kiss me more briefly this time. When he pulled away his lips lingering on mine for a few moments whilst his hands travelled up and down my sides. "I love you."

"I love you too" I leaned into his touch for a few more moments before dragging myself away "I better go tell Kellin the party is a go and get these photos sent off. Say hello to Brian almighty for me." 

"Definitely not!" He called after me with a giggle. 

____


	18. 18

Chapter Eighteen

My run of good luck when it came to Jimmy not noticing my hickeys came to a very quick end the following day. 

They'd faded pretty well, so I guess i'd be slacking on the makeup as I thought I was probably past the noticeable stage. That's why when I leaned past him to look at a video on Oli's phone, I didn't think twice about it. Until I heard the unmistakable sharp intake of breath, followed by a cackle of laughter. 

"Hold up" He pulled me back by the t-shirt and stared at my neck "are those hickeys? Have you been getting action and not informing be about it?!" 

"Er..." I blushed sheepishly. 

"he totally has" Oli grinned "and they're kind of faded. He's been hiding these for days." 

"Shut up, it's not a big deal" I swatted at Jimmy. "If you must know i'm seeing someone." 

"Who?" Both he, Oli and Kitty all chimed at once. 

"You don't know him" I shrugged and tried to avoid eye contact, instead focusing on eating my lunch. 

"Do we not at least get a name?" Kitty frowned. 

"Come on guys" Kellin rolled his eyes "I'm sure Frank will introduce him when he's ready to."

"Is he at least coming to your birthday party?" Jimmy whined "you know I don't do well with witholding gossip." 

"Yes, he is actually" I smiled, earning very surprised looks from Kellin, Lynz and Ray. "So if you can hold off till then I promise you can meet him properly." 

"But that's weeks away" Jimmy whined. 

"I know, but I promise i'll tell you all about him really soon" I chuckled, and with that Jimmy seemed to temporarily give up, as Ray expertly changed the conversation. 

"You know" Kellin said later on when we were walking home "Jimmy is going to have an absolute field day when he finds out who you're really dating. Like, it's the biggest piece of gossip ever. I'm genuinely worried he may implode from the excitement of it all." 

"Something tells me that no matter how loyal he is, there's no way he'd be able to keep a secret that big to himself" I laughed "hence why i'm at least waiting until my birthday to tell him." 

"Is Gerard really coming to the party?" 

"Yeah" I couldn't help but smile "I wasn't sure if he would want to, but he actually really did, and as it's fancy dress we can just disguise him a little so nobody will recognise him straight away." 

"See! I told you throwing a party was a good idea!" he grinned as we walked down the driveway "this is going to be the best halloween ever." 

"Hope so" I grinned as we stepped inside, noticing the suitcases in the hallway and the sound of the kettle boilng in the kitchen. 

"Hello?" Kellin called out, just as a woman I presumed to be his mum emerged from the kitchen. 

"Hey boys" she beamed, giving Kellin a hug that was sincere but probably a bit too brief considering she'd been away for a few weeks "how was college?" 

"Fine thanks" Kellin turned to me "this is Frank, my friend that's living with us for a while." 

"Of course" she gave me a hug "lovely to have you here giving Kellin some company."

"Thanks for letting me stay" I said politely "I really appreciate it."

"Of course" She laughed "you're welcome for as long as you like. It's so nice to know Kellin isn't here on his own, i'm back for a week but then I'm off to Australia for a conference so I won't be in your hair for long. Now, come have a cup of tea - I was just making one." 

* 

Kellin's mum was lovely, but all the same I was quite glad when Jimmy called me up and asked if I wanted to hang out, as I wanted to let Kellin have some time alone with his mum before she jetted off again. 

"Meet me in the town centre" he said quite quickly over the phone "I've had an idea." 

He hung up after that, so it was only when I met him by the fountain that he finally revealed what he was up to. 

"Care to tell me what we're doing here?" I raised my eyebrow. 

"Do you remember Tony? Vic's bandmate?" 

"Yeah, what about him?" 

"Well, he works here" he pointed in front of us at the tattoo parlour i'd walked wistfully past many a time. "And he said there was a last minute cancellation, which means I'm getting inked!" He declared. 

"Even though you're not eighteen for another month?" I asked, to which he nodded "holy shit that's so cool." 

"come on, I don't want to keep him waiting" he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me through the door. 

that's how I ended up sat watching Tony tattoo Jimmy with this pretty cool frankenstein-looking girl on his leg, whilst we all listened to music and talked about how well Tony's band was doing. 

"This place is so cool" I looked around, trying to take in every aspect "I've always wanted loads of tattoos you know. I just don't know where to start." 

"I can start right now if you want" Tony shrugged "It's only a few more weeks till your eighteen so as long as you don't tell anyone where you got it, I can't see why it would hurt to give you one now." 

"Are you serious?" my eyes went wide "shit, that would be so cool." 

"the question is, what do you want tattooed Frank?" Jimmy piped up from the seat "and where?" 

"I just don't know where to start..."

"You could always start by covering up those damn hickeys" Jimmy chuckled, but it made something click in my mind. I stood up and walked over to the mirror, turning my head to the side and pressing my fingers against the side of my neck, where the shadowed bruises could just about be seen.

"You know what, yeah" I grinned, turning around "I want one right here, on my neck. I just don't know what." 

"You said your birthdays at the end of the month right?" Tony asked, to which I nodded "well, why not get something to symbolise that? Star signs, roman numerals, that sort of thing is always super popular." 

I thought about my star sign for a moment, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head.

"I know exactly what I want" I declared, and in quite possibly the most spontaneous thing i'd ever done besides the first time I'd kissed Gerard, I sat down in the chair. 

*

My neck was killing me the whole walk to Gerard's that night. Perhaps getting a neck tattoo as a first ever one wasn't the best idea i'd ever had, but I couldn't bring myself to regret it when I'd looked in the mirror afterwards and seen the scorpion staring back at me, red and raw but undeniably perfect. 

I'd wrapped up in a scarf on my way over, and the tattoo itself was still bandaged up with some cling-film paster over the top to keep it protected, so it was well and truly hidden from view for the time being. 

Tony had done such a good job and he'd even given me a discount rate, so although I'd basically spent the remaining money in my bank account on it I couldn't bring myself to complain. The rush it had given me was similar to when I went tagging - I was already thinking about what I wanted next. 

Gerard opened the door dressed in an old hoodie and jeans, looking way too good in the oversized clothing. 

"Hey" he pulled me inside and kissed me as the door shut behind us, snaking an arm around me "I've missed you." 

"I missed you too, is Mikey here?" 

"Yeah he's in the kitchen, we're making veggie lasagne" his eyes grew wide when I pulled the scarf off "what the hells happened to your neck?" 

"I'll show you in a second" I grinned, pulling him into the kitchen where Mikey was stood drinking coffee. 

"Frank" He put the mug down and pulled me into a brief hug "it's nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too, how long are you staying for?"

"Oh just a few days" he picked his mug back up "hey - is that a tattoo?" he pointed to my neck. 

"A tattoo?!" Gerard tried to peer closer at it, but I beat him too it by pulling away the plaster and exposing the view of the scorpion.

"Ta-daa" I exclaimed as they both took it in. 

"Woah, that's so cool" Mikey peered at it "when did you decide to get that?" 

"About five minutes before I got it inked" I chuckled, turning to Gerard "well, what do you think?" 

"I love it" he grinned "it's perfect. But I don't know how the hell you let someone put a needle on your neck" his grin slipped and he shuddered at that. 

"Needle phobia still as strong as ever then?" Mikey rolled his eyes when Gerard gave a scowl. 

"Always." 

"Well get used to this because i've already got the next three or four planned out" I was already thinking about what sort of thing i wanted to get on my arms and the back of my neck. maybe some stomach ones too. 

"Maybe wait till you're actually eighteen before you cover you body in ink" Gerard raised an eyebrow. 

"Last time I recalled waiting until Frank was eighteen wasn't an option for you two, so somehow I doubt he's going to wait till then to get more tattoos" Mikey remarked, making me laugh and Gerard blush a little. 

"You guys should sit down, the foods nearly ready" he changed the subject, and myself and Mikey took our seats as he began to dish up. 

"Seriously though" Mikey pressed "what are you going to do when Frank turns eighteen? Are you going tell Brian Gerard? Or are you both going to keep hiding it? Because it's going to come out at some point, and once it's not illegal anymore you're both going to get more sloppy covering your tracks when the stakes aren't so high."

"It's still something i'm thinking through" Gerard sighed as he set down the plates "I mean, Brian will not take it well. In fact I'm pretty sure I'll loose my job. So I think i'll try and have something else lined up before I tell him, you know?" 

"Like a church transfer?"

"Actually I was thinking about something else. I still want to help people, but maybe I could do it in a different way. Therapy maybe" he shrugged, not seeming as fazed by his potential career change as i'd expected. 

"What about your comics?" I frowned "they're so good. If you're going to change career why not give them a go?" 

"It's a possibility" he nodded "it would be hard work getting my foot in the door but i'm not going to write it off completely like i used to do." 

"Good" Mikey chimed in "you're too talented not to at least try." 

The rest of the evening passed quickly. Me and Mikey got on really well, and it was nice to be able to talk to him properly now that the awkwardness of our first meeting was long since forgotten about. Gerard seemed so happy to have us both there and getting along, and it was only when the clock hit eleven that i realised I should probably get going. 

"I should probably head home" I sighed, looking out the window and noticing it had started to rain a little. 

"I'll drive you" Gerard stood up. 

"You don't need to, I'm okay walking" I shrugged as I picked up my jacket. I knew Mikey was only over for a short period of time and I didn't want to detract from that. 

"Just accept the offer" he rolled his eyes "it's wet, cold and late, and it would make me feel better if I dropped you home rather than you walking."

"I guess so" I turned to Mikey "see you soon, Mikey".

"I hope so" he stood up and gave me a hug "it was really nice to see you again Frank. Look after the tattoo." 

When we pulled up outside Kellin's house Gerard leaned over traced his fingers along my collarbone, lingering just beneath my tattoo. 

"I never really gave much thought to tattoos, but I also never realised just how attractive they'd look on you."

"In that case I will definitely be investing in some more" I leaned into his touch, feeling the tips of his fingers brush against the sensitive patch of skin surrounding the scorpion. 

"Thank you for tonight. It's great to see you and Mikey getting along."

"I'm just so glad he's so accepting of me. It can't be easy to see how much trouble I could get you in and still be okay with it." 

"He knows i'm happy, and that's all he cares about" he sighed "and trust me, he's seen what a difference having you in my life has made. If anything, he's grateful for you." 

"Do you two both possess some rare gene that means you don't see me for the troublemaking shit that the result of the population seem to conclude I am?"

"Oh I know you're trouble alright, but i'm hardly the only one who knows you're not shit" and with that he pulled me towards him, kissing me hard and fast in the way he knew made me feel dizzy.


	19. 19

Nineteen 

Two weeks had passed since my dinner with Gerard and Mikey, and despite my desperate attempts at optimism I had to admit, things were yet to start looking up. 

Firstly, I'd found out that the only subject I was definitely on course to get a decent grade in was music, and even then I was behind on coursework. Perhaps secretly dating a priest and getting involved in a drug gang hadn't been the most beneficial to my education, but now I had to face facts that university probably wasn't on the cards for me. Which meant I had to figure out what exactly I was going to do with my life once I left college. 

In all fairness I'd been planning on getting a job straight after college anyway, especially if Gerard was going to be trying to find a new one too. If I wanted us to have a chance of getting out of town and starting over somewhere new we'd both need to be earning enough money to afford to rent a place. Still, it made my time at college seem even more pointless, and if it hadn't been for the normality of seeing my friends everyday I probably would've dropped out already. 

The second setback was that between Gerard being weighed down with work duties and the various errands Ian had had me running over town, I hadn't got to see nearly as much of him as i'd wanted to. Plus for the week Kellin's mum was home for i'd not been able to sneak out to stay round his as I didn't want to have to explain where I was going so late at night. Sure, I'd still seen him for an hour or two here and there, and I'd stayed over once since Mikey left, but it wasn't nearly enough to satisfy me. 

In better news, I'd managed to submit my art competition entry in time, my birthday was only two weeks away, and Ian was still yet to find out my involvement in smuggling Dewees out, and so i kind of had to be grateful to simply still be alive. 

More good news came on a particularly gloomy Tuesday afternoon, when I arrived home from college to find Vic and the entirety of his band stood in Kellin's kitchen, champagne in hand. 

"Frank!" Kellin immediately beamed, grabbing another glass "you're just in time to celebrate!"

"What's going on?" I frowned, looking around and finding no clues as to why. "I haven't forgotten anyone's birthday, have I?" 

"No" Vic laughed "we got signed to a record label today, we came straight here because I wanted to tell Kellin first."

"Shit, that's awesome you guys!" I hugged him, and then each of his bandmates in turn. 

"Thanks man" grinned Jaime, as Tony struggled to open the bottle of champagne, finally doing so with a loud pop that saw the cork go flying across the kitchen, and very nearly hit Mike in the face. 

"Are you gunna be recording a record soon?" 

"That's the plan" Mike nodded "I mean, we've got some time to get organised, but I imagine we'll be heading to the studio within the next few months, get it done as quick as we can so we can get on the road properly, y'know." I noticed Kellin's smile falter the tiniest bit at that, obviously remembering that for a small band starting out, the touring would be near-constant for the next few years as they tried to make a name for themselves. Him and Vic were going to have to make it work long distance. 

"Sounds amazing" I answered so he wouldn't have to, and picked up one of the glasses of champagne "to Pierce The Veil" I held it up, and they all did the same. 

"To new beginnings" Vic added, and I couldn't have agreed with him more. Seeing them getting that one step closer to their dream definitely lifted my mood and reminded me that it was possible to get out of the rut I was currently stuck in. 

I was in such a good mood that I decided I definitely had to go and see Gerard. After half an hour or so I excused myself from the celebrations, and headed in the direction of the church. Of course, I made sure I scouted out the car park, and thanked whatever luck was on my side when I saw Brian's car was not there, and Gee's was. 

I headed in through the side door, and went up to the office, annoyed that he wasn't in there. His bag was though, so I knew he was close by. 

I peered into the main church, and grinned when I saw him stood next to the alter, the light from the stained glass window casting down onto him so that his face and shoulders were illuminated. He looked almost angelic, lost in his own world as we sorted through some leaflets. 

I leaned against one of the pillars and cleared my throat, making him jump. 

"Frank?" he looked torn between wether to be cross with me for sneaking around or happy to see me, and happy seemed to win over "what are you doing here?"

"I've come to confess some serious sins" I wiggled my eyebrows, immediately making him blush a little. 

"Frank-" he started to warn.

"You should've told me Brian wasn't here today". 

"He went home early" he watched as I moved closer to him. I stepped round the alter so we were on the same side of it, close enough that I could smell his aftershave. "This is incredibly risky Frank." 

"I know, but i'm having incredibly inappropriate thoughts and I need your help controlling them" I winked, watching his eyes get darker "please, father" that seemed to be the final straw that made him grab me by the front of my t-shirt and push me so my body was trapped between him and the alter table. 

"You better get confessing then" one of his hands was on the small of my back and the other on my hip. 

"Well, for starters, I can't stop thinking about how many things I wanna do to right on this alter" I bit my lip, both of us now standing under the light of the stained glass window so that we seemed to be illuminated in reds, greens and blues. 

"Me too" he barely got the words out before his mouth was on mine, kissing me frantically. He grabbed one of my thighs and pushed me backwards so that I was sitting on the alter, leg wrapped around his. I grabbed the front of his shirt to hold myself up as he leaned over me, pushing the leaflets that had been scattered across the alter flying off the end and onto the floor. 

He pulled back to look me in the eyes, and I could see the lust behind his that I knew was mirrored in my own. 

"Frank-" he began, but we were interrupted by the unmistakable sound of the front door opening and footsteps descending at a fast pace "shit, hide!" 

I all but fell off the alter and onto the floor behind it, and just in time as I heard the footsteps step into the main church, the stone floor echoing them. I was obscured from view for now, with Gerard standing up against the alter, subtly readjusting his jeans. 

"Hey Gerard" Brian's voice was fast becoming one of my most-loathed sounds "forgot to grab those papers I said I'd drop off." 

"Oh, right, yeah" Gerard tried to slow his breathing down "where abouts did you leave them?" 

"Oh just up in the office" he said breezily, clearly not noticing just how ruffled Gerard looked "what are all those leaflets doing on the floor?"

"Knocked the pile off just before you walked in" to be fair to him, he wasn't lying. Just excluding the fact he did it on purpose. 

"Oh, need a hand picking them up?" 

"No" he answered a little too sharply "but er, thank you anyway. You should go grab the papers and go home, there's no point us both being here till late." 

"Okay" I could hear his footsteps heading closer "is everything okay? You seem a bit... well, i'm not sure." 

"Oh i'm okay, just tired" Gerard bluffed, and it seemed to work. 

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then" Gerard nodded, and I could hear his footsteps as he disappeared out the side door. I waited for his footsteps to fade on the other side before I crawled out of my hiding place. 

"Way, way too close" Gerard frowned, looking a little pale. 

"Fun though" I winked, and for a second he held my gaze before we both started laughing. His giggle was high pitched and adorable, and I couldn't help but kiss him again. 

"I love you" he sighed, tucking a stand of hair behind my ear. 

"I love you too, shall I hide here till Brian almighty's gone?" 

"Good idea" he glanced around the church before pointing at the cupboard door "you're small, you could fit in there I reckon" it was probably just about big enough to stand in, so I shuffled inside and he pushed the door too so I could still see through the crack. He then began picking up the leaflets as Brian walked back into the room. 

"Right well, I'll drop these off on my way to tennis" He held up the papers he'd forgotten "I'll just let James know i'm running ten minutes late."

"Have fun" Gerard said without looking up. 

"Oh, James was asking me about you the other day actually" that made Gerard look up. 

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, he wanted me to thank you for trying to set Frank back on the right path. Doesn't sound like it worked, lord knows what he's up to now, but he's grateful that we tried with him" Brian said in a sickeningly patronising tone. I balled my fists at my side. 

"You shouldn't assume he's in trouble you know" Gerard stood up "he's a good kid really, he always turned up here didn't he?" 

"I guess-"

"And I know James is your friend, but maybe him and Frank not being under the same roof will do them both good."

"Perhaps" he mused "well, I'll let you get back to work. see you tomorrow." 

As soon as I heard the main door shut behind him Gerard opened the door to the cupboard and I breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Thank you for that" I said, shutting the door behind me. 

"Of course, i'm not going to stand there and listen to him say that sort of stuff without at least trying to defend you. It just angers me that I can't get properly defensive - tell him exactly what an amazing person you are and exactly what a horrible person his buddy James is." 

"That's sweet" I leaned my head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug "but it's okay - people like Brian won't change their mind about me anytime soon and I'm okay with that."

"You're right, his opinion doesn't matter. As long as you never believe a word of it." 

"Never have, never will" I grinned up at him. "Oh! I completely forgot to tell you - Vic's band got signed to a record label!"

"That's great news" he picked up his jacket from where he'd flung it over one of the pews "come on, this paperwork can wait till tomorrow - let's go back to mine." 

"you're eager" I teased as he pulled me out of the church door and into the car park. 

"Yeah, well, we've got unfinished business" He unlocked the car and i jumped straight in, not needing any more encouragement than that. 

Within about five minutes of being back at Gerard's he'd dragged me into the bedroom and we'd begun pulling each other's clothes off. 

He pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top so that he was straddling me, one hand reaching up to cup my face as his eyes grew darker. 

"I need to confess too" He whispered, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up "because all i've been able to think about all day is how much I wanted to be here, and all the things I want you to do to me, and how much i'll enjoy it, and even when I was trying to read verses of the bible or talk to Brian, it was always there at the front of my mind, image after image." 

"Fuck" I groaned, his words making my whole body ache "you really are simultaneously the best and worst priest I have ever known". 

"It's all your fault" he let out a yelp then when I pushed him off me and effectively rolled us over so I was on top instead. 

"Sounds to me like the only way you'll be able to concentrate at work is if you get laid right now, so I would effectively be helping both the church and your career if I fucked you senseless." 

"Well when you put it like that..." he trailed off, words being replaced by gasps when I started to jack him off without warning "oh fuck." I was already pretty hard, so when he started to reciprocate I could quickly feel the pressure building up inside me. 

"Where's the-" I started to gasp, but he was already handing me the lube. 

"Hurry up or i'm not gunna last long" He winked, and I decided to wind him up even further. 

"Yes, father" that made him let out a long groan, pulling me down by the hair so that my lips crashed violently against his. I kissed him back with equal pace, hands busy prepping us both. 

"Shit I want you" he moaned against my lips, and in response i aligned our hips and started to push into him "faster" he gasped already, his impatience getting the better of him. I chuckled and sped up, cautious not to hurt him but also incredibly aware of how close I already was too. 

"You're so bad father" I gasped, picking up the pace as he squirmed beneath me "such a fucking sinner." 

"I love your dirty mouth" he groaned, pushing his head back so I could kiss up his neck "always a sinner for you, Frankie." 

"Shit" my breathing was becoming heavier by the second, and I shifted slightly in position so that I could get the right angle, knowing I'd found it when his hips bucked and he let out a string of inaudible groans. 

"I'm so close." 

"me too" 

"Come with me" he reached down to finish himself off at the same time I felt myself come, eyes fluttering shut as I rode it out, hips still rocking gently against his as I came back down to earth. 

When I did pull out I immediately collapsed down on the bed, whilst Gerard cleaned himself up. After a few moments I felt a blanket being draped over me, and then his arms pulling me so that I rolled over, lying with my head in the crook of his neck and his arm firmly wrapped around my waist. 

"I could lie here forever" he sighed contently, and I buried my face into his neck, breathing in his smell. 

"Let's do it" I giggled "fuck college, fuck church, fuck Brian, let's just stay here." 

"In two weeks time, after your birthday, we'll sort it out properly" he mumbled, sounding sleepy "we'll make a proper plan. We'll sort it all out. I promise." 

"I believe you" I sighed, feeling drowsy myself now that all the adrenaline had left my body. 

We'd work it all out then, but for now I was just going to enjoy the moment.


	20. 20

Chapter Twenty 

The next two weeks before my birthday passed in a blur of college, the odd errand for Ian, and staying round Gerard's almost every other day. Now that Kellin's mum had jetted off again I didn't need to hide where I was going at night, and he didn't really mind me going as he was spending as much time as he could get with Vic, working around their very hectic writing and recording schedule for the band. 

My birthday itself started by being woken up by a Kellin parading into my room, singing happy birthday at the top of his lungs whilst holding a present. 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" he cheered, making me groan and blink myself awake. 

"what time is it?" 

"You don't get to be grumpy today!" he declared, handing me my present "you're officially an adult! Now be happy and open the damn thing!" 

"You didn't need to get me anything" I frowned, beginning to tear off the paper. A record player stared back at me, brand new and amazing and way too expensive for my liking "Kellin! This is awesome!" 

"You said you used to have one back home, and so I figured you'd appreciate having one here. I've also got you these" he held up a massive '18 today' badge and a packet of plastic shot glasses "but I figured they'll come in more useful tonight." He'd been planning the party like mad, and was probably more excited about it than I was. 

"Thank you so much" i hugged him "man, I need to get using Ray's discount at the record store now." 

"Don't worry - I think the others are already onto that" he grinned "now go have a shower and get dressed - you need to go get out the house and spend time with loverboy so I can get it all set up for when you return." 

"Yes sir" I placed the record player down and got out of bed, heading in search of coffee. 

My parents phoned my mobile when I was eating breakfast, and I reluctantly picked up, hearing the usual 'happy birthdays' from them both before they tried to ask me where I was living or what I was doing - was I still going to college? How long till I came home? My dad even tried to convince me to go and apologise to James as he was 'sure he'd take me back', to which I told him very bluntly that there were not many places in the world I'd rather live in less than I would like to live under James and Isabel's roof again. He did seem to back off after that to be fair to him, and instead said they'd transferred me some money to spend on a present from them. 

When the post arrived I found Pete had posted me a birthday card, signed in his usual scrawly handwriting, and even signed from Patrick too. There was also a birthday card from Mikey, which made me smile. He must've asked Gerard for my address. Along with the card he'd also sent me a book on tattoo art, with a note inside reading 'now that you can legally get some more! As long as you take Gerard with you so you can see him squirm at the needles first hand!'

I chuckled, placing the book and the cards to one side as I heard Gerard beep the horn from outside. When I headed out he was stood leaning against his car, smoking. 

"hey" I grinned as he threw the cigarette away. 

"Hello, fellow legal adult" he grabbed me and kissed me right there and then, in broad daylight. for the whole world to see. And I loved it. "Fuck, I've been wanting to do that for a while." 

"You still have a potential job to loose if someone sees us doing that."

"Shut up, it's your birthday and we're celebrating our newly-legal relationship."

"Fine, what's the plan? It better not be anything over the top because i'm already getting some sort of birthday extravaganza tonight" to be fair, all I really wanted to do was go round his and just live in our own little bubble for the day. 

"Jump in" he grinned "and I promise - no big extravaganzas are in store." 

True to his word, Gerard drove us about half an hour out of town to a small village that neither of us had ever been to before, and we went for a quiet lunch in a local restaurant there. 

"Subtle enough for you?" He asked once we were sat down. 

"Perfect" I grinned. 

"This is what it can be like from now. Even if someone recognised us here, there's nothing they could really do about it. We don't have to hide anymore" he reached into his bag and handed me a small wrapped package "here, I wasn't sure when to give it to you, but now seems as good a time as any." 

I unwrapped it slowly, wanting to take my time with this one. As soon as I realised what it was my grin widened, pulling out the box and looking up at him. 

"How did you know i've always wanted one of these?" 

"I didn't, but I realised we don't have any photos together, and I thought we should change that straight away" I held up the polaroid camera, turning it over in my hands as he spoke. 

"It's perfect" I switched it on and held it up, pointing at him "smile then".

He gave me a toothy grin as I took the photo and watched the film slowly come out, blank at first but with each moment going darker as his face slowly came into focus. 

"We need one of the both of us later on though" he pointed out as I watched it develop "and we need to take some on my phone too - I can finally put you as my lock screen now." 

"Maybe the home screen instead of the lock screen" I chuckled "unless you're literally asking to get caught before we choose to tell everyone." 

"I guess" he surprised me then by leaning down into his bag and pulling out another present, this one flatter and smaller, perhaps the size of a book or a DVD. "There's something else too." 

"Gerard you've already spent enough money on me!"

"This didn't cost me anything" he said cryptically, handing it over "just time." 

I slowly pulled back the paper to see it was a handmade book of sorts, and when I opened it I gasped aloud. 

It was a comic, I could recognise his distinctive drawing style. But the character looking up was clearly me, lip ring, spray can in hand and even a scorpion tattoo on the neck that I was guessing he'd recently added. I started to flick through it, seeing images of cartoon me tagging walls, running from police, playing guitar with Ray, and scenes where I was sat on a very familiar doorstep with a face covered in bruises, and a cartoon Gerard, minus the priest collar, was sitting next to me. 

"Gerard. This is amazing." 

"I'm glad you like it" I heard him say, not yet able to take my eyes off the drawings "I wanted you to know how much you inspire me Frank. Everything you do is amazing to me, and I just needed to get it all out." 

"This is the best present ever" I looked up at him "I love you so much." Having him draw me like that made me feel almost immortal. Like he'd captured a bit of my soul into the comic in the process. Every detail was perfect. 

"I love you too." 

Gerard dropped me home a few hours later, full of promises that he'd see me later tonight once the party was already in full swing. When I walked into Kellin's kitchen I saw that numerous balloons and banners had been hung up, red solo cups were piled up high on the kitchen table and Oli was setting up the speakers. 

"Happy birthday mate" he grinned, being the first one to see me. That's when the others all appeared, and I was immediately pulled into various hugs. 

"I didn't realise you were all gunna be here this early" I admitted. 

"We wanted to give you our presents before you got too drunk" Lynz grinned as Kitty picked up a big box "they're all in here, and they're from all of us." 

I sat down as I opened it up, seeing inside were all my favourite records on vinyl. 

"Holy shit, you've literally picked my exact favourites!" I turned to them all "how did you know which ones to get?" 

"I lived with you for a while, and it was pretty easy to hear what you were listening to through the walls" Ray's voice made me turn to see him stood in the doorway. I immediately grabbed and hugged him. 

"Thank you so much Ray, and all of you, this is perfect." 

"You deserve it Frank" Kitty smiled. 

"So what did your boyfriend get you?" Jimmy cut in, grin emerging "don't think I've forgotten that you promised I could meet him tonight!" 

"He got me this" I pulled out the polaroid camera "and I know, he's coming later." 

"Let's test it out then!" lynz changed the subject for me, and for a while we all mucked around posing for the camera, making sure we got a group picture as well as individual ones of me and Ray, me and Lynz and me and Kellin. 

It was later on that me and Ray were stood in the kitchen whilst the others got ready that we finally had a moment to speak alone. 

"Is Gerard really coming tonight?" 

"Yeah he is" I grinned "fancy dress, but I don't think anyone here would recognise him anyway. I'll introduce him as Gee, not Gerard, just in case." 

"Good idea" he nodded "god, it's going to be so weird being at a party with my priest." 

"Here, look at what he made me" I handed him the comic book, watching his eyes go wide as he flicked through the pages. 

"Holy shit Frank, these drawings are so amazing. He really loves you, doesn't he?" 

"I hope so" I chucked, quickly taking it back "I'm going to go put it somewhere safe and find my costume." 

It was 9pm, and the house party was in full swing. The kitchen was full of people talking, the living room full of people dancing, and the smokers stuck to the garden. The turn out was big - most people from our college were here, but I still mainly gravitated towards my inner circle of friends. So many people had wished me a happy birthday, and I had a crazy amount of cards. I hadn't realised they even knew who I was. Maybe Kellin was paying them. It wouldn't surprise me. 

My costume was a classic skeleton one, whilst Ray was a zombie, Lynz was Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice, Kellin and Vic were both werewolves and Jimmy... well, Jimmy was stood there dressed as some sort of priest. 

"Since when were Priests halloweeny?" I laughed. 

"Since forever!" he cried "I'm Father Jimmy Urine, here to exorcise the shit out of any ghosts" and on cue, Chantal rounded the corner dressed as the corpse bride. 

"I think it's very appropriate" Ray remarked with a sideways glance at me "I mean, what Halloween party would be complete without a priest or two?" 

"Yeah Frank" Lynz joined in "you cant disagree with that one." 

I gave them a both look that said shut up right now. Luckily, Thriller started playing at that point, and Chantal immediately started towing Lynz and Jimmy towards the dance floor. 

"Whens the actual priest getting here then?" Kellin asked.

"He should be here any minute actually" I beamed, and sure enough about a minute or so later Ray emerged from the hallway with Gerard by his side, dressed as a vampire by the looks of him. His face was covered in pale white powder, making his hair look even darker, and he had fake blood running down his jaw and neck, a cape over his back. 

"Look who showed up" he called over to me, and Gerard just waved adorably. I immediately walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Hey" he grinned "I think i'm here to crash the party." 

"You just made the party" I corrected him, turning to Kellin "Hey Kellin, nice to see you again in better circumstances". 

"Tell me about it" he laughed, shaking his hand. 

"wanna go get these introductions over with?" I asked.

"Sure" he let me tow him into the kitchen where most of the others were. 

"Guys, this is my boyfriend Gee" I announced, making them all turn and immediately give us their full attention. Luckily they were still only tipsy at this point.

"Hey" Oli shook his hand "nice to finally meet you." 

"Yeah, Frank's kept us waiting" Chantal added. 

"Nice to meet you all too. Sorry it wasn't sooner, we just had a few things to sort out first" Gerard answered as honestly as he could, coming off far more relaxed than I think he actually was. 

"I hope it wasn't covering up Frank's hickeys, because if so you did an appalling job" Jimmy moved forward and offered him a drink rather than a handshake "Jimmy Urine, or Father Urine for the one night and one night only. Pleased to meet ya." 

"Nice to finally meet you Jimmy" Gerard chuckled "I like your, er, costume". He took the drink but set it down on the side without sipping it. I got the impression he wasn't really that keen on drinking, especially if he was driving home. 

"Thanks dude!" He turned to me "see Frank, told you priests were cool." 

"Oh, I wasn't denying that" I smirked, feeling Gerard try not to giggle beside me. 

"Anyway, you are not nearly as drunk as you should be on your 18th birthday, come on!" he dragged me over to the table and started to pour me another drink, and I shot Lynz a grateful look when she started talking to Gerard, steering the group conversation away from priests in general.

"Hey Frank, want me to take a picture of you and Gee on your polaroid?" Ray asked, and I quickly stood next to Gerard as he draped an arm around me, both of us smiling into the flash of the camera. 

"Thanks Ray" I pocked the photo, reminding myself to check it later. I then turned back to Gerard "come dance with me?" 

"Anything you want" he took my hand and let me lead him into the living room, where the lights were low and way too many people were dancing to notice the two of us spinning around before he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me deeply, making everything else melt away. 

"Happy birthday Frankie" he yelled over the music, and I just leaned up and kissed him again, feeling the happiest I'd ever felt in my life.


	21. 21

Chapter Twenty One

I woke up the next day with a hangover that wasn't too bad considering how good last night had been. I remembered dancing with Gerard, him probably leaving around midnight and then the party continuing till about 2am, which was when Kellin turned down the music and people started to either book a taxi home or shotgun a sofa.

I was lying in my bed, and when I opened my eyes I saw Ray was passed out on the floor, a pillow propping up his head.

"Morning" I groaned.

"Mppf" was the response I got as he squinted up at me "why the hell did I decide to sleep on the floor? My back kills."

"You were pretty drunk" I giggled, "I seem to remember you singing the whole of bohemian rhapsody at about 1am".

"You can't talk - you couldn't walk up the stairs properly so it's a miracle you made it to your bed. I think you and Jimmy were drinking tequila after Gerard went home." His words triggered a vague memory of downing shots.

"Sounds about right."

"Oh here" he passed me a stack of Polaroid photos "I put these up here for you for safekeeping."

I thumbed through them, looking at all the various photos of my friends before coming to the ones of me and Gerard. I traced his outline with my finger, loving how he was looking at me in them and how happy I looked to be there. I placed them down gently on the bedside table, figuring I'd raid Kellin's kitchen for some blue tack later to stick them up with.

"Come on" I stretched "lets go find some breakfast before the others eat it all." 

When we got downstairs Kellin, Vic, Oli, Lynz and Kitty had already started clearing up the mess. Kellin was mopping, Vic was hoovering, and the others were collecting up any plastic cups and cans into bin bags. Jimmy was awake too, but he didn't really seem to be contributing much to the clean up.

"Need a hand with anything?" I offered.

"I think we're all good" Kellin replied "there's coffee on the side and toast on the dining table."

"You ready my mind" I grinned, jumping over the patch he was mopping to grab a slice. "Did everyone else go home?"

"I hope so."

"Any damage?"

"Nothing that can't be fixed or cleaned before my parents next get home" he shrugged as I ate "besides, it was worth it - that was one of the best parties I've had."

"It was nice to finally meet Gee too" Vic added "you guys seem really happy together."

"Thanks, we are" I grinned.

"So how did you guys meet?" Kitty asked, not noticing Ray gulp beside her and catch my eye.

"Oh, we just er, met.." I could feel my mind going blank.

"Through me" Ray quickly jumped in "I know Gee through my job at the record store, he comes in and lot and one time him and Frank got talking and the rest is history."

"Yeah, I'm a sucker for a guy with good taste in music" I added, shooting him a grateful smile.

"Cute" she turned back to cleaning the sofa, and luckily the conversation swiftly moved onto a debate over who everyone thought had been the drunkest at the party, and well away from my relationship.

I excused myself and walked out the back door into the garden, lighting up a cigarette and leaning against the garden table. The November air was cold but refreshing, definitely helping to clear my head but also making me wish I had grabbed my jacket on the way out instead of just throwing on a hoodie.

When my phone started to buzz I groaned, assuming it would be Ian with another errand to run. I highly doubted he'd care that it had been my birthday, in fact it was a blessing he hadn't called the day before. I wouldn't have put it past him.

So I was pleasantly surprised to see Ryan Ross' number on my screen.

"Hello?"

"Frank! Hey! Thanks for the party last night!" I could vaguely remember him calling in for a bit, but I don't think he stayed late.

"No problem, thank Kellin though - he's the one that organised it."

"Will do. I was actually calling for another reason though."

"Oh?" I stubbed out my cigarette "everything okay?"

"Great - it's about that competition. You, well, you won." I seemed to freeze for a moment, probably looking like some sort of rabbit in the headlights. "Frank? You still there?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. My uncle loved your stuff, says he has all these ideas of how you could exhibit it - a mix of photography of your work and some new huge murals. He wants to come meet you soon and talk it all through properly."

"Fuck, I can't believe it" I gulped "that's amazing."

"I know, I'm so happy you won! You'll finally start getting some of the recognition you deserve!"

"Ryan, I seriously cannot thank you enough." I couldn't quite believe this was happening. I'd won something. For the first time ever.

"No problem Frank, as I said before - you seem like a guy in need of a break. I hope this is the one you need."

"I better go tell my friends" I laughed aloud as the realisation hit me.

"Go for it - I'll see you real soon." He hung up then, and I pinched myself lightly on the arm just to make doubly sure that this wasn't some sort of weird vivid dream I was having thanks to all the alcohol I consumed the night before.

I guess my disbelief was obvious, because as soon as I stepped inside Lynz looked at me with concern.

"What's happened? Are you okay?" She frowned, immediately putting down the mop.

"Better than okay actually" by now I had everyone's attention "Ryan just phoned. I won the art competition. My works going to be exhibited in London."

Before I knew what was happening, Jimmy, Oli and Kellin had all jumped ontop of me in an attempt to all hug me at the same time, whilst the others all cheered. We all fell backwards onto the sofa in a heap.

"Fuck yes!" Oli all but shouted.

"They couldn't have picked a more well deserved winner" Kitty laughed, looking down at us.

"Wish he'd told you yesterday, now we need another party" Kellin chuckled "but seriously - that's amazing Frank."

"It's better than amazing" Jimmy interjected, finally climbing off me "it's spectacular. It's perfect."

"Do you think you'll get a fancy gallery opening?" Lynz mused "we could all dress up and come as friends of the artist. And the critics will all come along and start calling you the next Banksy. Maybe you could be anonymous like him. Adds to the mystery...."

"I hadn't thought that far ahead" I admitted "but as soon as I know more I'll let you know."

"You should go tell Gee" Vic offered a hand to help me up "we've got enough people helping clean up here as it is."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" Kellin confirmed from behind him "go tell him the good news Frank." I knew from the look in his eyes he was holding back on saying how much me and Gerard probably needed this. 

*

Gerard was pleasantly surprised when he opened the door to me, and to my surprise instead of pulling me inside he stepped outside and kissed me.

"Stop asking to get caught" I giggled, moving past him to get inside.

"Don't care anymore" he just grinned "besides, nobody's around."

"Let's at least try to make this look like it started after I turned Eighteen. And not a matter of hours after."

"Hours, days, weeks, it's all legal from here onwards, who cares about the details?" He shut the front door and followed me into the kitchen "anyway, I wasn't expecting to see you here so soon. How's your head?"

"Not too bad" I was all but bouncing with excitement at this point.

"Well, you certainly have more energy than I thought you would."

"That's because I have some news."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow "what sort of news?"

"Good for once" I couldn't hold it in for any longer "I won the art competition! They're going to put my work in a gallery! In London!"

"Holy shit!" He crossed the room within seconds and pinned me to the countertop, lips fiercely moulding against mine for a matter of moments before he pulled away enough that he could still hold my face in his hands "this is amazing Frankie. I knew you'd do it. I just knew."

"I actually have a chance to make something of myself Gee. Someone out there saw my work and thinks it's good enough to be in a gallery."

"Told you I wasn't the only one that had faith in you" he ran his thumb over my cheek "this is only the beginning too. Just you wait. You're amazing and now the world is finally going to see it."

I kissed him again, letting it last longer this time as I enjoyed the addictive feeling of his body pressed against mine, hands travelling up to tangle themselves in my hair,

"I love you" I gasped against his lips.

"I love you too" he mumbled, teeth closing around my lip ring and tugging it so that I couldn't help but moan.

I felt like perhaps I'd finally found a way out for us. If I could find a wake to shake Ian off my tail, perhaps there was something out there in the world of art waiting for me. I smiled, feeling Gerard's hand in mine as he pulled me upstairs, allowing myself to dream about a future together where nothing could penetrate our little bubble anymore. 

*

I woke up a few hours later in Gerard's bed, sheets tangled around my legs and a warm patch in the bed next to me telling me that he'd probably only just woken up too. Sure enough, as I stretched and sat up he walked back into the room, coffee in hand and his hair all messed up from napping. 

"How long have I been asleep for?" I asked groggily. 

"A good hour or so I think. Here" he handed me one of the coffee mugs "do you wanna order a takeaway? Because I'd much rather stay here with you than cook."

"Sounds perfect" I grinned as he sunk back down into bed next to me "I'm starving now."

"Pizza?" 

"Always" He picked up his phone and started to order, knowing me well enough by now to know which toppings i'd want. "Don't get me wrong, the party last night was amazing. But celebrating by eating pizza with my boyfriend in bed is even better."

"I agree" he set down his mug and scooted closer to me so that he could wrap an arm around my waist and pull me to his chest "besides, better spend time with you now before you become a famous artist." 

"I'll always have time for you Gee."

"Yeah?" He asked softly. 

"Of course, why would you think otherwise?" 

"I dunno Frankie. It just hit me earlier, you winning this competition and getting the recognition you deserve, well, what if you do end up making it as an artist and there's no room for me in your life anymore?" 

"It wouldn't be my life without you" I rolled my eyes and climbed onto his lap, titling his chin so he had to look up at me "we're the real deal, okay?"

"Even if you end up meeting some super attractive artist, with some sort of exotic name and amazing tattoos?"

"Then i'll tell him my type of guys wear priest collars" I pushed his hair away from his face "and blush really easily when I remind him of it." 

"You should make me sound a bit more intimidating than that" he frowned "tell them I'll condemn them to hell or something if they flirt with you." 

"You have nothing to worry about. I wanna be with you forever" I kissed him. 

"Deal."


	22. 22

Twenty Two 

A few days after my birthday celebrations had passed, Kellin went to visit Dewees. He went alone, of course, despite however much I wanted to accompany him. It was just too risky and we both knew it, so instead he borrowed Vic's car, turned off his mobile and drove there one Sunday afternoon for a quick visit. 

When he returned it was with a smile on his face. 

"He's doing so well Frank" he sat down and turned his phone back on "he's through the worst bit now, he's having loads of therapy, and he said to say hi to you." 

"That's great" I sighed with relief at one less thing to worry about "is he coping day to day in there? It must be lonely, not having any visitors to swing by regularly." 

"He's alright, he was a bit bummed out because one of the friends he's made in there left really abruptly in the middle of the night - checked himself out, probably gave in to the cravings y'know. It happens though, the main thing is he isn't following suit. Said that he's done fucking up like that. Hopefully he makes some more friends that are committed as him." 

"Let's hope so. I just wish I could've come with you."

"He knows that" he patted my shoulder "but he also knows why that would probably be the worst idea you've had since you got involved with Ian in the first place."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to go visit. Especially when Ian could phone at any moment and ask me to go run an errand for him, its far too risky." 

"Exactly" he was interrupted then by a knock on the door "I'll get it" he headed out, and returned a moment later with Lynz in tow. 

"Hey Linds" I stood up and gave her a hug "you okay?"

"Actually, really good" she sat down "my dad finally broke up with Angela."

"Finally" I grinned "I knew he'd come to his senses eventually."

"Do you think it's for good?" Kellin interjected. 

"Yeah I do. It was a pretty big row, I think she was fed up of him too, probably not helped by how much me and her were rowing. But now I finally feel like i've got my dad back, so I guess it was all worth it in the end." 

"I'm surprised you're not leaping for joy right now" I raised an eyebrow at how she was sat calmly on the sofa. "Not going to lie, this is all a bit anti-climatic." 

"Me too" she sighed "I guess trying to help Bert has made me realise that I'm not that different to my dad in a lot of ways. I mean, I know Bert's no good - he's not going to change anytime soon, and yet I keep giving him chances and putting my faith in him. A bit like dad did with Angela. Sometimes you just want to see the good in someone because you feel like other people aren't, and you don't want to give up and admit other people were right and you were wrong, but then it just escalates and well, you get too involved." 

"I felt like that with Dewees for a while, but he did eventually clean up with a lot of help" I mused "but er, I dunno about Bert. I'm not really sure if anyone can predict what he'll do next no matter how well you get to know him." 

"I do desperately want to help him, but I just don't know if he wants to be helped" she groaned. 

"I'll make you a coffee" Kellin grimaced and headed for the kitchen, not knowing Bert so not really being able to comment on the matter himself.

"Look Linds, I know I'm biased because he's part of a world I don't want you going anywhere near, but I know I also can't really talk when it comes to people we should and shouldn't get close to."

"You're different Frank. You and Gerard love each other, he'd do anything for you. But Bert? I'm not so sure he really cares all that deeply about anyone sometimes." 

"He's a complicated guy" I chose my words carefully "and my honest advice would be to walk away, or at least take some serious steps back from the situation. Spend time with your dad, fix your relationship with him instead of trying to make something work with Bert." 

"That's pretty solid advice" she sighed "I think you're right. I'll go talk to him later, bring him his records back and say I need time to focus on my family. He's a pretty understanding guy, he should be okay about it." 

"Want me to come with you?" 

"Is that a good idea?" 

"I don't care, you shouldn't have to go alone. Besides, I think between us we could easily handle him." 

"That sounds pretty good" she nodded. "In the meantime, fancy doing some tagging?" 

"Depends where. I'm supposed to be keeping a low profile." As much as I had promised Gerard to not chance getting caught, I hadn't tagged properly in a while now and my fingers were itching to do so. It didn't have to be something big - anything would do. 

"We'll go to the skate park - that place is covered in graffiti anyway. Nobody will care there." 

"Deal" I stood up "let me go grab my stuff." 

*

The skate park was pretty quiet, so me and Lynz got to work, opting for lots of smaller doodles rather than bigger murals like normal. We both just needed to let off some steam, and even after about half an hour it had already worked wonders on us both.

"This is fun, but I am freezing" I laughed, standing up from where i'd been crouching down to doodle a little cartoon self portrait. 

"Worth it though" she looked up and I laughed at the smear of red paint across her cheek. 

"You missed your target a bit there" I used the back of my fingerless gloves to wipe it off her face. 

"Thanks" she swapped her can for a blue one "I think i'll do one more if you think you can last another five minutes before you turn into an icicle?" 

"Fine, but it better be good" I picked up the backpack with the rest of the cans in and moved it nearer to the new spot she'd found. She opened her mouth to reply, probably with some sort of diss about how hers were always good thank you very much, but before she got a chance my phone started to ring, and with a groan I glanced down at the caller ID. 

"Hey Ian" I grimaced, watching her do the same in front of me. 

"Frank. I need you to go pay a visit to Bert." His tone was as neutral and guarded as ever, giving absolutely nothing away. 

"Oh okay. Am I picking up from him or something?" I hadn't been round to Bert's in a long time, so the request was a bit out of the blue. 

"I've got an errand for you to run, he'll tell you the details when you get there. Just go round right now. Don't be late." He hung up abruptly, and I picked my backpack back up. 

"I've got to go to Bert's for some sort of errand." 

"I'll come" she hopped up "It'll give me a chance to speak to him properly."

"Too risky" I frowned "I don't know if he's definitely alone."

"As long as we don't arrive together it's fine, they'll assume that I don't know anything. Thugs like that tend to be pretty sexist without realising it - they don't really pay attention to Bert's girlfriend or whatever they assume I am" she waked past me towards the gate to the park "come on then." 

"For the record, I definitely tried telling you not to come" I rolled my eyes, following her. 

"Oh stop worrying, Bert's always on his own, and if he's not I'll just pretend i've never met you before in my life. Look, I'll let you go ahead and go in first." 

"Fine, but if you see anyone else in there with us you're not coming in." 

"Deal" she nodded, and I sighed in defeat, knowing there wasn't even any point in attempting to argue with her further on the matter. She was even more stubborn than me when she wanted to be. 

When we got to Bert's apartment block I checked up and down the street for any signs of life. Few people were out on the streets, and none of them resembled any of Ian's thugs. It seemed like the coast was clear, but I made Lynz walk a few meters behind me all the same. 

"Just go in Frank. You said yourself - it's cold out here and the sooner you get this over with the sooner you can go see Gerard and I can sort out the mess i'm in with Bert" she said over my shoulder. 

"Okay I'm going, but wait for me to come out and let you know if he's alone up there, okay?" 

"Yes, yes I will do" she leaned against a wall so she could look up to Bert's apartment "just give me a wave from the window or something." 

I trudged up the outdoor stairs, the cold November wind wrapping around me like an icy sheet, and gave a half hearted knock on the door, knowing he'd probably take forever to answer. Normally I had to knock at least twice before he even realised I was there. Perhaps that should have been the first clue that something wasn't quite right, because the door opened almost immediately after I knocked. 

Instead of being greeted by the cat-like eyes of Bert McCracken, I found myself staring at Kyle, Ian's thug that had kicked me in the face a few months prior. And he was wearing a sickening smirk that told me whatever was about to happen was going to be far worse than the scene in Dewees kitchen had been. 

For a split second I froze, and then I turned in a last ditch effort to run, but Kyle's hand was already on my shoulder, pulling me roughly inside the flat. His other hand slammed the door shut behind us, closing off all sources of daylight in the dingy flat.

I tried to elbow him in the ribs, but he dodged it and pushed me up against the wall, arm against my neck. 

"Quit struggling" he growled.

"Fuck off" I gasped, trying to kick out at him and managing to hit him, but not hard enough. His response consisted of two punches to the stomach, releasing me from the wall so that I fell to the floor and doubled over, gasping for breath. 

"Thanks Kyle, I can take it from here" a familiar voice spoke up, causing me to raise my head so that I could meet Ian's gaze from where he was stood in the corner of the room, watching the scene unfold. 

And that's when was little hope I was clinging onto finally vanished.


	23. 23

Twenty Three 

Getting punched in the stomach makes you feel like someone knocked the air right back out of you, so for a moment all you can focus on is trying to suck in a breath of air. Unfortunately for me as soon as I'd sucked in that breath, I was forced to look into Ian's eyes and realise that I'd take that punch a hundred times over if it meant I could get away from him. 

"What's going on?" I almost didn't want to ask. 

"I could ask you the same" he took a step closer, and I noticed that his other thug, Rob, was standing to his left. Bert was sat in the corner, not meeting my gaze. 

"Bert?" he looked up when I said his name, an apologetic look in his eye. 

"Sorry kid" he mumbled "they just turned up, and as much as I like ya, I also like being alive." Although I wanted to be angry with him for allowing me to be lured to his apartment, I knew there wasn't much he could've done about it if he didn't know they were coming. 

"Good point Bert" Ian turned to me "makes me wonder why Frank doesn't value his life as much as you do." 

"Ian I don't know what you're talking about -" 

"Liar!" He was suddenly right in my face, dragging me to my feet. Even stood up he still towered over me, all but spitting in my face "all these weeks since Dewees went missing, did you not think I had people looking for him too?"

Shit. He knew. How much he knew I wasn't sure, but he knew enough. 

"Yes-"

"Well I did. I figured if he had help he'd probably run to rehab. That's what most of them do. So I checked a few people in of my own, and sure enough I eventually got a guy into the same clinic as him" double shit, I'd never thought about the other people in there, and now it was too late. "As soon as he was sure he had the right guy he checked himself out, but not before he got a look at the guest list. And do you know who was on there?" 

"I'm not on any visitor lists anywhere" I tried to interject, but he grabbed me roughly by the front of my t-shirt and slammed me against the wall behind me. Sharp pain shot up my back as he held me there, eyes cold. 

"I know, but some other kid was, so I had my guys ask around your college, and guess who we found out lives with him? None other than Frank fucking Iero himself" he finally let me go, but it was only so he could swing back his fist and punch me in the jaw. I cried out, unable to help myself, pain exploding across my face. "So tell me, how did it come to be that your housemate is on Dewees rehab visitor list without you fucking knowing about it?" he laughed with sickening sarcasm "because either that, or you've bene stringing me along all this time." 

"Ian" I tried to talk, my jaw already going slightly numb from shock. "I'm sorry I-"

"Save it" he snapped "the only reason I got you to come to me here was so nobody would interrupt us, otherwise I would've marched into that fancy mansion you've shacked up in straight away."

"Are you going to kill me?" I gulped, trying to hide my sheer terror. I didn't want him to know just how much I was shaking with fear. 

"Not yet" he mused.

"we're not?" Kyle frowned "what are we doing here then?" 

"Well-" Ian abruptly cut off, staring past me. Before I could turn my head to see what he was looking at, he'd made some sort of signal to Kyle and Rob that sent them both running to the door. 

It was when they both barrelled outside and I heard a scream that I realised what was going on. 

Lynz. How long had I been in here? Probably long enough for her to get impatient and come try and peer in the window to see what was happening as opposed to leaving like we'd discussed. 

Sure enough, she was thrown roughly into the room by Kyle as Rob shut the door. She landed hard, throwing her hands out to protect her face. When she did look up, she took one look at me and let out a gasp, eyes going from me, to Ian, to Bert. 

"What the fuck?" she glared over at Bert, who met her gaze with a defeated expression. 

"Not you too" he groaned. 

"Who the fuck are you?" Ian loosened his grip on me. 

"She's my girlfriend" Bert sounded desperate "please Ian, don't hurt her too. She doesn't know shit-"

"We'll find you another girlfriend" Rob sneered "one that isn't friends with this fucker" he jabbed his thumb at me. 

"she's not my-" I started to say, but Lynz cut me off and threw herself under the bus. 

"Please dont hurt Frank" she begged Ian, not seeming to care that in doing so she had admitted far more than she should've. As she did Rob pulled her ID out of her jacket pocket and read it aloud. 

"Lynz Ballato." 

"Well Lynz, I don't care if you're his friend or his girlfriend, but I do care that you've interrupted me right in the middle of something here" he turned to Kyle "make sure she stays put. We'll deal with her later. And as for you" he turned back to me "no I'm not killing you right now or I would've done so already. You're bait you see." 

"Bait?" 

"You see, I know Dewees is in that rehab, but the security is too good there - I could never get in there and kill him without being caught. Only way to get him is to lure him here, and what better way to do it than to tell him if he doesn't give himself up, you'll be the one paying the price? All we have to do is sit back and wait for him to come to us." 

"And I'm supposed to believe you'll just let me go afterwards?" 

"Maybe" he mused "depends on if I think you've learned your lesson. And if you'll keep quiet about the dead druggie on our hands." He pulled his phone out and started to scroll through it. 

"How are you going to blackmail him if he's in rehab?" 

"Once my man on the inside checked out to come tell me the good news, he checked himself back in again, and because he hadn't been using they let him back in. Only this time he has a phone on him, which means that I can send him a video that I know he'll be able to show Dewees. Up for a little home movie, Iero?" 

Before I could reply Rob was there, shoving me roughly to the ground as Ian began to record. 

"Here's the deal Dewees" he sneered as Rob landed his first kick to my stomach, quickly followed by a second "your friend Frank here is always putting himself on the line for you, so here's an opportunity to return the favour" another kick to the stomach had me yelling out in pain, vision going a but fuzzy found the edges "you can come to Bert's right now and save him" I was vaguely aware of Lynz screaming in the background, Kyle holding her back from running to me "or I'm going to kill him" he turned the camera onto Lynz "and hey! Maybe her too if I fancy it. See you soon." 

He stopped filming, but Rob still delivered one last blow that I'm sure broke a rib. By this point I was a heap on the floor, lip bleeding from Ian's earlier punch, every breath hurting to draw, and the whole room seemed to be spinning. 

I guess Kyle must have let Lynz go, because I felt her press a hand to my forehead and heard a few sobs escaping from her as she leant protectively over me. The sound of footsteps told me Ian and Rob had retreated to the kitchen, leaving Kyle guarding the door at the other end of the room. I wasn't really sure where Bert was, but I assumed he hadn't moved from his original spot. 

"You're an idiot" I groaned at her "told you - not to - to go..."

"I couldn't leave" she sighed "I had this gut feeling that something wasn't right" she ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to comfort me "shit Frank, you need to go to hospital." 

"Don't think they're willing to call me an ambulance" I tried to make a lighthearted chuckle, but just ended up wheezing. 

"You" Lynz looked up, presumably at Bert "how can you just sit there and do nothing?" 

"What can I do?" Bert hissed back "If I try anything I'll end up like Frank here. And don't go thinking that they wont do the same to you, because they will!" 

"It's your apartment - can't you think of something?" Kyle was out of earshot, and probably not interested in our conversation anyway. 

"Lynz-" 

"No Bert - you got me into this mess, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, now I need you to help me save Frank. So I don't care what you do but you need to do something and you need to do it now, because otherwise either Dewees or Frank are going to die today, potentially both of them." I realised that Bert was scared. He'd seen what this gang was capable of, and now he wasn't just scared for himself, he was worried for her life too. 

"Okay" he hissed "I'll try."

My vision was getting a little clearer now, and I managed to sit up a bit so that I could see Bert. He was walking towards the kitchen doorway, where he stopped and interrupted Ian and Rob's conversation. 

"Er, Ian" he stuttered "about the whole my-flat-is-about-to-become-a-murder-scene situation-" 

"Shut up McCracken" Rob bluntly replied. 

"All I mean is would it be possible for me to, you know, live somewhere else in exchange for my silence? Doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, you know I love living in squalor, just don't particularly want to live here because I totally believe in ghosts and well -" he'd stepped into the room now and their voices were becoming a bit muffled, but I could hear Ian making some sort of compromise. 

"He better have a plan" Lynz whispered to me. 

"If he doesn't" I mumbled "you need to get yourself out." 

"I'm not leaving without you" she glared down at me. 

"I've definitely got broken ribs. I can't run. I'm done for" I wheezed "you have a chance still." 

"Not going to happen Frank, so shut up and save your breath." 

Bert re-emerged then, and as he walked past us I saw something drop from his hand into Lynz's. I looked over to the door, where Kyle was staring out the window before checking the lock on the door. He hadn't seen. I looked at Lynz, who was sat side on to me so that I could see the mobile phone she was holding behind her back. She slipped it into the lining of her jeans, belt holding it in place, and coughed to get Kyle's attention. 

"I need to go the bathroom" she called over to him. 

"Can't it fucking wait?" 

"No" she stammered "please, I don't want to piss on the floor but I'm gunna if I don't go now." 

"Fine" he snapped "Rob, come keep an eye on Iero for me."

Rob and Ian re-appeared as Kyle lead Lynz to the bathroom. Luckily it didn't have a window, so he allowed Lynz to shut the door behind her. I'd recognised the mobile she had as being her own, so I guess Bert had managed to steal it back whilst he'd been complaining to Ian in there. 

"Dewees got the message" Ian laughed down at me "apparently he went white as a ghost when he saw it. So I guess we can be expecting him soon enough. My guy will drive him straight here once he agrees, and the brilliant thing about it is that he's checking himself out of rehab - basically admitting he'd about to go on a drug fuelled bender. Nobody will be surprised when he disappears completely."

"Ian you don't have to kill him. He'll repay you somehow, you know he will. He just needed to get clean first." 

"Shut up before I punch you so hard I knock you unconscious" he spat down at me "you don't get to tell me what to do. You just get to lie there and beg for your life, got it?" I gave a weak nod, too exhausted to try anything. He turned back to Kyle "what the fuck is taking her so long in there anyway?" 

Kyle hammered hard on the door. "You've got 5 seconds before I open this!" 

Lynz opened the door tentatively, glancing from Kyle to Ian to me. Kyle grabbed her by the arm and shoved her in my direction, causing her to stumble a little as she walked across the room and sat down beside me on the floor. 

"What should we do with them now boss?" Rob glanced wearily at the two of us. 

"Tie their hands together, I don't want them trying anything."

Rob pulled my wrists together whilst Kyle wrapped some tape around them before doing the same to Lynz. I don't know why they bothered really - I was no position to go anywhere in a hurry. 

"As for you" Ian turned to Bert "show us where the beers are in this dump." 

Bert glanced briefly at us before leading him and the other two into the kitchen, leaving me and Lynz alone in the room.

"Did you use the phone?" I whispered only when I was sure they were out of earshot. 

"I text Ray" she bit her lip "I didn't have time to type much, and he seemed like the best person in a crisis." 

"What did you say?' 

"Me and Frank are being held hostage by Ian at Bert's, he knows about Dewees and using us as bait. Get help quick." As much as I didn't want to get Ray involved, I had to agree that he was probably the best person in Lynz's phone book to text. Even if she had his number, Gerard would have come running straight here without thinking of backup, and Kellin was pretty notorious for not checking his phone enough. 

"Ray's sensible" I nodded "he'll call the police." I didn't care anymore about getting caught, now my life was on the line I knew anything was better than a dead body. 

"I just hope he reads it in time." She voiced the fears I had bubbling in my stomach. 

"He will." 

"How far away is Dewees rehab?" 

"Well, it took Gerard half an hour to drive there, but im not sure Ian's thugs will exactly stick to the speed limit. I reckon we have about twenty minutes till he gets here and we're done for."

"That's more than enough time for the police" she nodded "as long as Ray calls them within the next ten minutes, we should be okay." 

"Lynz, if we're not, and Ian kills Dewees, you need to save yourself. I can try and talk myself out of it, beg him and stall him till the police come, I don't care, but you're better off running." 

"Frank, it won't come to that. Listen, we have an advantage here - they don't know that anyone else knows we're here." 

I wanted to reply, but at that point Ian walked back into the room, beer in hand like this was a normal day to day occurrence. Perhaps it was. 

"Don't try anything" he narrowed his eyes at Lynz "you're both on thin enough ice as it is." 

"You know, it wouldn't make sense to kill us" she swallowed her nerves. 

"Oh really?" he raised an eyebrow "and why's that?" 

"Because you said yourself that nobody would notice if Dewees went missing, but people would notice if me and Frank both disappeared. Friends, family, college..." 

"And the alternative is what exactly? Let you go and have you tell everyone what happened here?" 

"Ian if you let her go I promise she won't cause you any trouble" I spoke up. 

"Like you've promised so much before? When you promised me you didn't know where Dewees was? Tell you what Iero, you break one more promise to me and i'll take your tongue, how's that for a promise?" 

"So don't kill him" Lynz persisted "killing Dewees will be messy and hard to cover up, you've already got one more witness than you wanted, and then there's Bert, it would be so much easier to just make Dewees work for you again until he can pay you back." 

"I don't do second chances round here. Frank already knows that - maybe it's about time you learned it too."

He swung his fist back to punch her, but before his fist could reach her my reflexes kicked in, and without thinking I used what little energy I had to bring up my foot and kick him square in the crotch. 

He yelled out and stumbled from the pain, giving me a moment to realise that even if he hadn't been planning on killing me before, he definitely was now. 

"You" he spat, regaining his balance enough to grab me by the front of my t-shirt "are so much more trouble than you're worth Iero. And you just don't fucking learn, do you?" He didn't wait for a reply before delivering the punch to my face, which at least meant he'd forgotten about Lynz, but also meant that white hot pain was searing through the left side of my face. I undoubtedly had a black eye, and before I could fully recover from that he threw me back towards the ground, creating even more damage to my ribs. 

"Stop!" I could hear Lynz cry out, and the sound of footsteps as Ian's thugs no doubt came to check out what was going on. 

However, before I could turn my head to take a look at them there was a large bang, and the sound of the front door flying open. 

Someone had just kicked the door down.


	24. 24

Twenty Four 

I was in enough pain that it would have been easy to curl up and black out, but when the door flew open it shot enough adrenaline into my system that I managed to look up and see Ray and Gerard. Ray seemed to have been the one that broke down the door, his fist clenched and raised as he took in the scene before him, whilst Gerard stood beside him, priest collar off and a dark expression drawn across his face that I hadn't seen before.

His eyes immediately found mine, taking in my probably horrific appearance at this point, and then settled on where Ian was towering above me.

"Let them go Ian" Ray shouted as Kyle and Rob started to move across the room, eyeing them up like prey. Although I couldn't have been happier to see them both, they didn't really look the most threatening pair.

"Who the fuck is this?" Ian growled "and who the fuck do you think you are, interrupting my business?"

"We're not leaving without Frank and Lynz" Gerard met his glare with one of equal measure "and the police are on their way, so I suggest you hand them over and stop this now." Kyle and Rob definitely faltered a little at that, obviously not having anticipated the police would get involved. 

"Well then thank you for the warning, but in that case I think I'll just take Frank here and wait somewhere else for Dewees to arrive, and as much as you like to think you can stop me, I think Kyle could probably kill you both singlehandedly." He laughed then, and Kyle snorted alongside him.

"We're not afraid of you" Ray stepped forward.

"Maybe you should be" Rob sneered back, also taking a step forward. I glanced at Bert, who was stood back and seemed to be sizing up the situation, trying to figure out which side to back here. 

"The police will intercept Dewees before he gets here Ian" Gerard edged forward a little for subtly than Ray had "you won't hurt him, and so hurting us will be pointless. Give up. You've lost" his eyes darted back to me, and I could see the pain he was trying to mask when he took in my crumpled appearance.

"I don't do giving up" he growled "and if I can't kill Dewees today then I'll settle with killing Frank and the rest of you for good measure. Kyle, Rob, remove these two."

Kyle and Rob both lunged at Ray and Gerard, with Ray and Kyle both throwing punches at each other whilst Gerard managed to avoid the first of Rob's lunges. Of course Rob swung back around at high speed and grabbed Gerard by the shoulder, throwing him to the ground. I yelled out, my own pain forgotten when I saw him go down. Ray was holding his own a little better, but still loosing.

Gerard managed to roll and punch Rob in the face, but as soon as Rob recovered he pushed Gerard down against the floor, his hands suddenly around his neck with a cold determination that made me scream and start to half lunge, half crawl towards them. Ian grabbed me with a sickening laugh and pulled me backwards, and no matter how much I kicked and thrashed I couldn't quite escape his grip.

That's when I guess the humanity within Bert McCracken kicked in, because all of a sudden he'd crossed the room and thrown Rob off Gerard. Before anyone else could react, Bert then smashed a beer bottle against the wall and started to charge at Rob with the broken remains.

"You need to get the fuck out of my apartment!" He screeched, tackling Rob backwards. Gerard took a moment to regain his breath, but as soon as he did he was up and yanking Kyle away from where he was about to try and bash Ray's head against the wall, and I guess in that moment Gerard must have discovered a whole new side to himself, because he kneed him straight in the balls.

Then Ray was there again, now with the upper hand as he delivered two hard punches to Kyle's face, whilst behind him Bert carried on with his attack on Rob.

Gerard spun round to where Ian was stood, and for a moment I didn't realise why his eyes went so wide, but then I felt the cold metal being pressed against my throat, and realised Ian had just pulled a knife.

Bert and Ray may have been winning against his thugs, but Ian had a backup plan.

"Put it down" Growled Gerard "and get away from him."

"Take one step closer and i'll slit your fucking boyfriends throat" Ian seemed to apply more pressure, and I knew he was close to breaking the skin. My vision swam and I tried desperately not to breathe too heavily.

"You won't get away with it Ian. You'll go to prison for murder, you know it."

"You think they'll let me walk if I don't kill him?" Ian chuckled darkly "at this point, I've got nothing left to loose." I could hear faint sounds of sirens in the distance, but I knew whatever help was coming wouldn't get there in time. 

"Ian-"

Before he could continue Ian yelled out, dropping the knife from my neck and letting go of his grip on me in general. I turned, bewildered, and saw that Lynz had managed to charge at him, hooking her tied wrists around his neck and yanking him backwards in shock.

I scrambled towards the knife and managed to pick it up just as Ian swung round and grabbed Lynz by the throat, slamming her into the wall with a sickening thud. At that point we all seemed to move at once. Gerard lunged towards me, whilst I went to lunge towards Ian with the knife in my hand, but before I could reach him Bert was there, snatching it out of my hand and overtaking me. Rob and Kyle were lying crumpled in the corner, still alive but both bleeding and battered.

Before Ian had a chance to hit Lynz again Bert tackled him, completely feral now, and with a warrior-like cry plunged the knife right into his chest.

I wasn't sure who was screaming, it may well have even been me, but someone definitely was. Not Ian though. He had this shocked expression as he looked down at where the knife was sticking into his chest, and then his knees gave way underneath him. The giant of a man came crashing down to the ground, twitching and gasping as his heart gave up.

Bert just stood there, staring at him. I think we all did for a moment. But then the sound of wailing sirens came closer, and Gerard was the first to snap out of his trance.

"Oh fuck, Frankie" and then he was right there, hand on the back of my neck and the other one trying to brush the blood and hair out of my face "oh shit baby just hold on, the ambulance will be right here."

Ian was dead. Gerard was here with me. I could process that much. It was enough to tell my body that I was no longer under immediate threat of death, that help was here, that maybe we were all going to make it out alive. That was enough for the adrenaline to fade out of my system as I feebly reached out to hold onto his t-shirt.

"Gee" I gasped, but couldn't find the energy to say any more. There wasn't a single part of my body that didn't hurt.

"Is he going to be okay?" I heard Ray say, but by that point my vision was swimming too much to see where exactly he was "Gerard, how much do we tell the police?"

I heard Gerard begin to reply, but by that point I was fading out of consciousness fast, my body crying out to just knock itself out and switch off for a while. I fought back for a moment, hearing the end of Gerard's words. 

"Just let me do the talking Ray, once we get to the hospital we'll sort it out properly." 

"Bert? Are you staying or running?" Ray's voice sounded a bit further away now. 

"I'll plead self defence man, if I hadn't killed him one of you would've done" as soon as he'd said it I heard new footsteps and voices, and opened by eyes to see paramedics and police flooding the already crammed small apartment. Better late than never I guess. 

I rolled my eyes shut, knowing we were finally safe. 

After that, it was all a blur. Paramedics were shining lights in my eyes, and then I felt myself being lifted onto a stretcher, voices around me talking too fast to follow. I guess I was in ambulance after that, because I remember sirens and a hand gripping mine tightly. 

Then it was the noises of the hospital, and someone was injecting me with painkillers, and after that it all went dark. 

*

When I woke up I still felt a bit delirious, no idea how much time had passed. I opened my eyes to a hospital bed, looking down to see i was hooked up to an IV, bandaged and bruised, but alive. I ran my tongue over my lip and felt some stitches there, and then I reached a heavy hand up to my head I could feel another bandage on there too. 

I found some water on the side of the bed and quickly downed it, realising how dry my mouth was. 

"Hey" I jumped a little, looking up to see Gerard stood in the doorway. He walked in and sat down in the chair next to me, taking my hand "how are you feeling?" 

"Spectacular" I wheezed, making him chuckle "what about you?" 

"I'm fine, just a couple of bruises" he shrugged, and I could see a few marks on his neck from where he'd been strangled. He caught me looking "they're nothing Frankie, you're the only one who got really hurt. You've got three broken ribs, concussion and some serious bruises. I was so fucking scared." 

"What about Lynz and Ray?" 

"Both fine. Ray had to have some stitches and Lynz has concussion from where she hit the wall, but they've both been worried sick about you. We all have. All you're friends wanted to come visit the hospital, but the doctors said you had to rest and it should be me, Lynz and immediate family only." 

"What about the police? And Dewees? Oh shit, Bert too" My mind was racing now, full of questions. 

"Calm down" he smiled, gently brushing his fingers against my head "it's all sorted. Rob and Kyle are alive and under arrest, Ian's dead and Bert is pleading self defence, and with us four to witness he should be fine. As for Dewees, the police intercepted him and although he might face some drug dealing charges, he'll probably get off with a longer rehab stay instead of prison. He took the wrap for your involvement too, said you never touched or dealt any drugs, that Ian was just using you as bait because you were the only friend of Dewees he was aware of." 

"And the police bought that?" 

"Well" he grinned "I helped persuade them too, and I think where you're the victim in all of this they're not too fussed about minor charges, not now they've finally got rid of Ian and can bring his accomplices to justice. The media will focus on that." 

"Shit, it's really over then." 

"Yep, I mean you'll have to give your statement of events, but the doctors said they should give you a few days to recover before the hound you with questions so we have time to get your story straight. Nothing to worry about right now." 

I took myself by surpirse when I felt a tear roll down my cheek. He immediatley wiped it away for me and moved closer. 

"Hey, it's okay, you're safe now."

"I know, I just - you Ray and Lynz could've all died because of me" I shuddered "you were such idiots for coming alone Gee, if they'd hurt you-"

"Hey! They didn't, i'm fine and you will be too. If me and Ray hadn't come who knows what could've happened? Besides, when he phoned me and told me what Lynz had text him there was nothing on earth that could've stopped me from coming."

"I was so scared I'd never see you again" I admitted "it was killing me."

"It's all over now" he leaned in and kissed me softly, aware of my busted lip "we can finally be free of this place. We can make a fresh start whenever we want, and nobody can stop us anymore."

"Do my family know I'm here?" 

"You've been drugged up for quite a few hours" he nodded "so they've already rung your parents and told them what's happened. Ray gave them the number, and obviously James and Isabel had to come to pick him up from the hospital, but he refused to leave until you woke up so him and Lynz are still here. Actually, so are his parents. They wanted to know you were going to be okay too." 

"Really?!" my eyes went comically wide. 

"They care about you really" he shrugged "although they are a bit perplexed as to why I'm here. Ray told them that he told me he was going in to save you no matter what, and that I followed him in attempt to stop him and make him wait for the police, but I'm not sure if they're really buying it." 

"It's more plausible than the truth" I managed a small giggle "dude, how many painkillers am I on right now because I feel seriously floaty." 

"Quite a cocktail I believe." 

The nurse came in then to check my temperature and dosages, and whilst she shined a light in my eyes and asked me some questions he leaned back in the chair and tried to look casual. She seemed happy with my overall progress, and told me they were going to keep me in overnight just in case, but that I should be able to go home tomorrow. 

"So" he sighed as soon as she left the room "I should probably stop keeping you all to myself and tell the others you're awake." 

"As much as I want to just stay in here with you I do need to see Lynz and Ray" I nodded. 

"I'll send them in" he stood up and leaned in to place another kiss on my forehead. 

About a minute after he left the room Lynz and Ray came rushing in, both attempting to hug me first before realising that with my three broken ribs, hugging probably wasn't the best option. Instead Lynz just squeezed my hand and sat down where Gerard had been perched before, whilst Ray hovered at the end of the bed, stitches in his cheek and prominent black eye, but otherwise okay. 

"Never ever scare me like that again" was the first thing he said "I can't afford to loose you Frank, I love you way too fucking much."

"Same here" Lynz sighed "seeing them beat you like that... well, I see it every time I close my eyes right now."

"It's okay, I'm going to be fine" I smiled at them both "thanks to you two. Without you I'd be dead. I owe you guys everything." 

"We're family. It's what we do" Ray shrugged "we all know you'd do the same for us. And now you're free of Ian and even your relationship with the local priest is technically legal, even if it is still going to give my dad a stroke when he finds out." 

"Is your dad really still here?" 

"And my mum" he nodded "I told them you'd only be up to seeing me and Linds right now though, and they were fine with it. They wanted me to tell you that they hope you're okay and that you're parents are going to fly over tonight to come see you. I think they're sorry they never gave you a chance to explain everything." 

"It's not their fault about the drugs" I sighed "It did look bad, and I did bring them into their house."

"Well, they do care about you really. Dad even offered to get you a lawyer if you need one, but I think Gerard's already sorted most of it out."

"You should've seen him in the ambulance Frank, he was inconsolable" Lynz added "I mean, they said you weren't going to die and that you were probably just concussed and stuff, but he was so pale and he wouldn't stop holding your hand, trying to blame himself for not getting there sooner."

"Don't worry, we told him to stop sounding like an idiot" Ray grinned "he sure does love you though." 

"I know" I smiled "hey - where's Bert now?" 

"He's wrapped up with the police and lawyers" Lynz sighed "I know someone had to kill Ian, and I think he was probably the best person to do it - he can live with it. But I don't know what to say to him." 

"Just leave it for now" I advised "he's got enough going on as it is without having to talk about whatever is or isn't going on between you. I'm sure things will work out one way or another." He had saved us all, and for that Bert deserved some respect and whatever space he needed to come to terms with the events of the day.

"You're right" she sighed and squeezed my hand again "I'm so glad you're okay Frank, everyone's been so worried." 

"Well you can tell them they don't have to worry anymore" I leaned back into the cushions "it's all upwards from here."


	25. 25

Twenty Five

I was discharged from hospital the next day and sent back to Kellin's on strict orders to rest up and give my body a chance to heal. My ribs were pretty painful, but I had enough painkillers to fade them out to a dull ache that was soon forgotten about amongst all the visitors I had. I may have been resting, but that didn't stop streams of people coming to the house. All our friends wanted to call round and see me, armed with chocolate and magazines and all wanting to tell me how glad they were I was okay.

"Stop making my life look boring as hell in comparison" Jimmy had teased as he took in my bruises "seriously dude, a bust up with a drug kingpin trying to kill you?"

"Technically he was more interested in killing Dewees, but yes" I chuckled.

"Still, and then being saved by Lynz's crackhead boyfriend, your cousin and your boyfriend? I can't believe I was just sat chilling at home whilst that shit was going down."

"I thought it was a priest that drove Ray to save you?" Oli frowned from behind him "that's what I heard on the news anyway." Amongst everything else going on Kellin was having to shoo reporters away from the house, all wanting a statement from the eighteen year old that was almost murdered by thugs in such a sleepy town. I was ignoring them of course, and they seemed to finally be backing off, now more concerned with some fraud scandal going on in the next town over.

"Nah, Ray said it was him and Gee that came" Jimmy turned to me, and they both look expectantly "well Frank, which was it?"

"Erm..." I glanced at Kellin, who was biting his lip in an attempt not to laugh. "It er, well it was sort of both."

Thinking I was going to die had definitely made me care even less what people would have to say about my relationship when they found out, and it seemed to have done the same to Gerard and finally given him the confidence to be ready to tell people. He hadn't yet, but we were planning on it soon.

"I don't get it" Vic looked at Kellin "why are you giggling?"

"Because we already know" Lynz interjected. Jimmy, Oli and Vic were the only ones in the room that didn't know, and I could see them all trying to process my words.

"But we've met your boyfriend-" Oli started, and then Kellin couldn't take it any longer.

"For god's sake guys, his boyfriend is the priest!" He giggled, and Jimmy's eyes went wider then I'd ever seen.

"You're shitting me, right Frank?" He gaped, and I shook my head.

"Gee is a nickname I used when I introduced him to you all, but his name is actually Gerard. Or, er, Father Way to those at church."

"You mean all this time, the hickeys, the nights staying over at your mystery mans...." Vic trailed off "all that time you were in an illegal relationship?"

"Technically, but if anyone else asks I'd really appreciate you telling them we didn't get together until after my birthday."

"Of course" Vic nodded.

"Just when we thought you'd told us your biggest secret you come out with this" Oli chuckled, whilst Jimmy still seemed in a state of shock.

"I promise this is the last big secret I ever drop on you. I've come completely clean now."

"I think you've broken Jimmy" Lynz waved a hand in front of his face "come on Urine, say something!"

"I'm trying to process the sheer amount of priest jokes I could make right now" he muttered, making us all laugh "but there's just so many options. I mean the daddy kink alone is gunna last me forever.... you are never living this down Frank. Never."

"I took forward to it" I leaned back into the sofa, so happy everyone finally knew everything. I had no more secrets from any of my friends, and it felt amazing.

"What is he going to do about his job?" Oli spoke up.

"We're working on it, but I think he's going to hand his notice in soon" I sighed "he knows he's broken too many rules to ever be an honest priest again, and lied to way too many people. He's better off leaving quietly and finding a new job, once the opportunity comes."

"He didn't seem like a priest at all" Vic reminisced back to my party "he seemed so normal."

"I know, he's pretty unique."

"You can say that again."

"Wait" Jimmy stood up "I dressed up as a priest for halloween, didn't I? And he was here!"

"Yeah that was pretty spectacular" I chuckled "even without knowing you still managed to make a joke of it."

"All the one-liners I could've used if I'd known that night... okay, i'm going to have to recycle that costume now just so I can wind you up properly. This is gold Frank. You and the local priest. And we were none the wiser, even when we met him...." he seemed to finally be fully processing it "I mean, I'm happy you're all loved up too, but this is so much better than I expected."

"Me too" I admitted, more to myself than to him. 

*

After everyone else left it was just me, Lynz and Kellin eating dinner that night, and as Kellin cooked me and Lynz sat at the dining table, the conversation quickly turning to Bert.

"I spoke to him" she admitted "he's out of police custody now and staying in temporary accommodation because his home is still a crime scene. He says he should get off all charges due to self defence."

"That's great news."

"Yeah it is, but then he started talking about how he wants to move away as soon as this is all done, and then he asked me if I could still see a future with him, and I had to be honest Frank, I couldn't. And it's not just because of what happened at the flat, because I had my doubts before that too, but every time I look at him now all I can see is him stabbing Ian, and the memories of that day, and I don't feel anything else. I mean, I'm grateful obviously, and I've told him that, but I think our fling is over."

"Was he okay about it?"

"Yeah" She sighed, running a hand through her hair "I think he saw it coming too, but he wanted to check before he assumed. He told me he'd of still killed Ian for trying to hurt me even if I'd dumped him that day, and he wished me all the best for the future."

"Do you think any of us will see him again?" my feelings towards Bert were certainly a mixed bag, but now that we all owed him our lives it would've been nice to thank him properly.

"I doubt it somehow. He knows you're grateful though Frank."

"I guess. I'm glad you're alright though."

"Yeah, sounds like you did the right thing" Kellin joined in as he started placing food down on the table "I mean, you can't stay with him out of gratitude. Some things are only meant to be short term, y'know? Lust not love, that kinda thing."

"Fun for a while but not forever" she nodded "otherwise it just starts to drain you."

"Exactly, it's gotta be healthy. Like for me and Vic, things aren't necessarily always exciting and wild, but we don't need it to be anymore. We're comfy in each other's company" he said between mouthfuls of noodles.

"Me and Gerard are comfortable round each other, but I think we've got a little while to go before everyone feels the same."

"Oh that reminds me" Kellin jumped a little "your parents rang earlier, said they're at the airport in New Jersey and are hoping to be here tomorrow lunchtime. They wanted you to meet him at your aunt and uncle's for lunch."

"Ughhhh" I rolled my eyes "just what I need when I'm supposed to be resting up; family drama."

"Come on" Lynz went to give me a playful smack, but remembering my injuries instead went for a nudge "it might not be that bad. If nearly dying doesn't cut you some slack I don't know what will."

"We'll see" I hummed, not yet convinced. 

*

Ray picked me up the next day, as I still wasn't fully recovered enough to walk over to my aunt and uncles house, and spent most of the journey there reassuring me that it was going to be okay.

"Honestly Frank, ever since what happened my dad hasn't said a bad word about you. I mean, I've been constantly lectured about how stupid I was going into the apartment and not waiting for the police, but they were genuinely scared for you too when the found out how bad you were."

"Yeah probably because if I died they'd have to have explained why they kicked me out of their home to both my parents and the police" I rolled my eyes, not convinced they genuinely cared yet.

"Suit yourself, but I know my parents and I think they were worried because they genuinely cared, somewhere deep down inside them."

"Well you're too nice."

"Maybe, but we're here now and so are your parents, so you better go in with an open mind" he stopped the car in the driveway and jumped out, leaving me to groan for a moment, really not wanting to get out but also kind of wanting to get this over with. After a moment I followed him inside.

As soon as I stepped into the living room I found myself being hugged by my mother.

"Oh Frank" she sighed "I was so worried when I found out what had happened, and being so far away too..."

"Erm, I've still got those broken ribs mom" I wheezed, and she immediately stepped back "but er, thanks."

"Hey son" my dad nodded at me from the sofa "you healing up okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" I nodded, catching Isabel's eye from where her and James were stood in the corner of the room.

"Frank, we're so sorry about what happened to you. If we'd had any idea that you were being blackmailed like that-"

"It's okay Isabel" I cut her off "I was still in the wrong for having those drugs here, and we all knew me living here wasn't working out for anyone. Me moving out was a good thing, it still is."

"Well, as much as you drive me insane sometimes you can always come back if you need to" James sighed "I mean, preferably not to live, but if you need a place to go or stay, well, we are family at the end of the day."

"Thanks" I noticed Ray was giving me a total I-told-you-so look from where he was sat.

"You can always come home too" my dad nodded "I mean, I know you've probably got college to finish here now, but maybe we were too harsh sending you over here. We thought it would be the best thing for you, but I guess we were wrong."

"Actually, it still has been a good thing" I admitted "I've made a lot of friends, and, well, a boyfriend too actually." I decided there was no time like the present to try and test the water. I glanced at James, and he just gave a small nod. It wasn't much, but it was all the approval I needed for now.

"Really?" my mother smiled warmly "maybe we could meet him whilst we're over?"

"Maybe next time" I reassured her, seeing Ray visibly relax at the prospect of his parents finding out about Gerard being delayed. "But hey! I have other news too - my art work is going to be in a gallery exhibition in a couple of months time."

"Where?" my dad sat up "that's amazing."

"In London" I nodded "I won a competition, they loved my graffiti and they want to find a way to put it into an exhibition space, with some new pieces too. I've meeting with the curator soon to discuss it."

"That's great news" Isabel smiled "we'll have to all come up and see it." It was weird to have her and James being civil with me, but oddly nice too. I mean, I wasn't exactly jumping at the thought of us all spending Christmas together, but it was a start.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of talk about my art show and general catching up between my parents and my aunt and uncle. Once we'd been there a few hours Ray suggested he drive me home so I could continue to rest up properly. I was grateful for the excuse, and quickly endured the various hugs and apologies of my parents before we left.

"See? Not so bad really" He chuckled once we were out the door "if I didn't know any better I'd say we almost all got on pretty well in there."

"Don't hold your breath - once the novelty of me being alive wears off I'm sure they'll be yelling at me again."

"Suits me" He grinned "then I get to be the golden child again."

"Piss off" I giggled as he started to drive "although you probably definitely will be once they find out about Gerard, which has kind of got to be before the art show because he's going to be there, and so are some kinda sexually frustrated artworks that feature priests. So you know, they'd probably put two and two together."

"You should tell them soon" he nodded "it's about time you get it over with, preferably whilst you're in the good books."

"True, I'll talk to Gee about it later." 

*

As a matter of fact, it was Gerard that brought up the subject later that evening.

He was round visiting me at Kellin's, which was something I was still getting used to him being able to do. We were curled up on the sofa downstairs, his hands running through my hair when he spoke.

"I handed in my notice to Brian today."

"What?!" I sat up a little too fast and winced at the pain in my chest "since when did you decide to do that?"

"The ambulance ride" he sighed "it put a lot of things into perspective for me, and I realised that if I waited for the right time to leave i'd be waiting forever. I'll get another job, I don't care what or where, as long as I'm free to be with you then I'll be okay. Sure, I'll try my luck with my comics, but even if that doesn't work out I could try a counselling course or something like that. The point is I'm cutting ties to this place, and now we can go whenever we want to."

"Are you really okay about leaving the priesthood?"

"You know what, I am" He gave a small smile "it felt like I'd finally lifted a weight off my shoulders. Once i've left I won't be breaking any rules anymore. I'll always hold my religion close to my heart, but it doesn't have to rule it anymore. I can just be Gerard with no strings attached." 

"Except for me."

"Of course" He kissed me "and everyone will finally know about us."

"How did Brian take it?'

"Alright, he was a bit confused as to why I was going but I just said I was struggling with some personal reasons and that I'd tell him more in the future, but right now I just needed some time away from the church" he hummed "it was all very professional, but I'll have to tell the congregation at church tomorrow."

"What will you tell them?"

"I'm not sure yet" he mused, looking down at me "but I think I should tell Brian the full truth before he hears it from anyone else. What do you reckon? Wanna come finally break it to him?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world" I grinned, and leaned up to kiss him properly. 

*

I stood near the back of the church the next day, nervously watching on as everyone sang the hymns and listened to the readings that Brian was delivering. I could spot the familiar afro of Ray a few rows in front, but I didn't want to have to speak to his parents right now when I knew Gerard was about to announce he was leaving. I didn't want my face to give anything away. His eyes found me all the same when he stood up though, scanning row after row until they finally settled on me, and his expression seemed to turn more confident.

"I have an announcement to make" he smiled sadly at the congregation gathered "unfortunately I've handed in my notice to father Schetcher, and this is the last Sunday I will be serving as a minister here." Shocked murmurs and whispers resonated around the room, but he continued anyway "I know this is a big shock to quite a few of you, and I'm so sorry to have to leave. I've loved this job, and owe it more than you can imagine" his eyes met mine again "but in the process I've fallen in love with someone." Audible gasps could be heard at that.

"Now" he continued, eyes moving on to take in other people "when a Priest falls in love, it causes a fair few obstacles to arise" a few laughed at that "and although it's hard to say goodbye, I know I'm making the right decision in deciding to move away to start a new life with my partner. Jesus always talked about love, and I found it in the most unexpected of places, but I'm starting to think that perhaps I was meant to find it that way, and that my entire journey has in fact been leading up to it."

It took everything I had to stay where I was and not run up and kiss him right there and then, but at the same time I was desperate to hear what else he was going to say.

"So I'm going to put love first, above everything else, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it. I hope you all too find or hold onto the people that make you feel the same way, because I sure am." He finished then, and a few people gave claps or nods of encouragement, whilst others contained to whisper and wonder as to who the mysterious person could be. I could hear people around me trying to recall if they'd ever seen Gerard with any of the female members of the congregation, and had to laugh to myself when they came up blank.

He had made sure to disappear quickly once the service was done, probably to avoid any further questions, so I immediately slipped out the back and up to the office, where I could hear him and Brian were talking.

"I just had no idea" Brian was saying, his back to the door so he didn't see me stood there like Gerard did. "I mean, you never mentioned any girls that had caught your interest, let alone caused you to question your job."

"Brian" Gerard took a deep breath, and I realised he was about to finally do it "turn around."

Brian turned, and looked puzzled when he found himself staring at me. "Frank, what are you doing up here?"

"I came to see Gerard" I hinted, but it flew right over his head.

"Well, if Gerard wanted to answer further questions he would come downstairs to do so."

"Brian" Gerard crossed the room so that he was stood next to me "the person I've fallen in love with.... is not a woman. Quite the opposite actually." He leaned down then and interlocked my fingers with his, giving me a sheepish smile.

Brian stared down at our hands before snapping his head up to gape from me to Gerard and then back to me again.

"But-" he trailed off "but you... and you! How could it... when did it..."

"After I turned Eighteen" I contributed, seemingly causing him to actually snap.

"Lord give me strength" He cried, turning to Gerard "you were supposed to be watching over him! And instead you... you... you gave into temptation Way!"

"Maybe" Gerard nodded "but we're not saints Brian. We can't help it sometimes. Frank is a legal adult now, and I'm quitting my job, so it's not your responsibility anymore. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I knew how you'd react."

"I think my reaction is completely justified given the circumstances!" He all but shrieked, looking like he was about to explode "how the hell could I let this happen! I knew you were trouble Iero but-"

"Hey" Gerard interjected "you can leave him out of this. This was my decision. I wasn't happy here and Frank showed me that, but it was always down to me at the end of the day."

"I think you need to clear out your stuff now" he gulped "get him to help you carry it, I don't care anymore, just get out of my church."

"I understand" Gee nodded "all my stuff will be gone by the end of the day."

"Don't you dare tell anyone else from the congregation Gerard" he then gasped "if anyone else knows the reputation of this church will be in tatters, you hear me?"

"We weren't planning on shouting it from the rooftops" I rolled my eyes, earning a myself a glare "so if you keep quiet then I'm sure we will too."

"Don't make it sound like I'm in on some dirty little secret here" he spat "because I'm not - I just care about my reputation and this church and what a scandal like this would do to it. I certainly don't care about either of you."

"The feelings mutual" I bit back the overwhelming urge I had to tell him exactly what we'd been up to on the sofa he was leaning against, and instead settled for leaning up and kissing Gerard on the cheek, much to his horror "come on babe, let's pack up your stuff."

I guess that was the final straw, because Brian stormed out of the room, muttering away to himself and probably trying not to faint.

"You're terrible" Gerard giggled, wrapping an arm around my waist "and I fucking love it."

"I know you do" I kissed him properly, his hands supporting my waist as I leaned up and let my tongue move against his own, lingering for a moment on his lips. "I can't believe we're finally free to do this in public."

"Well start believing it sugar" He murmured against my mouth. 

"We should get out of here you know" I'd been thinking about it for the past day or so "after Christmas maybe, just move away somewhere new. All my friends are talking about going to Uni or moving out anyway, and I don't think there's much for either of us round here." 

"That does sound good" he nodded, biting his lip as he thought "but what about your exams?" 

"It's not like I was ever going to do that well in them anyway" I shrugged "but if it made you feel better I could always come back and sit them or something, stay with Kellin."

"We'll wait till after Christmas" he nodded "that's only another month or so here, and that will give me time to search for a new job." 

"Deal" I turned, taking one last look at the office where we first met "I guess it's time to say goodbye to this room then?" 

"Probably for the best" he giggled "if these walls could talk I can't imagine they'd be too happy with us."

"Eh, it's the only action they'll probably ever see" I winked, watching him start to pack up his belongings. It didn't take long - he only had a few books and some stationary that he actually kept there. 

"It's so weird to be walking out of here and never coming back" He sighed, picking up his boxed belongings and taking his time to look round the room. 

"It's a huge change" I nodded, placing a hand on his back "but you're not doing it alone. We're going to be happier away from here Gee. We can just be us, no strings attached, no priesthood, no angry relatives." 

"No collar too?" he raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh no, you're definitely keeping that" he gave a bark of laughter and picked up his keys. 

"Come on then, let's get out of here before we scar Brian even more." 

And with that we left the church, him carrying his box, me walking beside him as we passed the few remaining members of the congregation. Neither of us looked back, because we didn't need to anymore. 

__

Just the epilogue left now!


	26. Epilouge

Epilogue 

Six Months Later

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. It was weird to see myself wearing a shirt and tie, but I'd pushed the sleeves up to my elbows so that some of my new arm tattoos were visible. I'd also got some on my stomach, but they would remain hidden for the night. The scorpion on my neck was in pride of place though, beneath my messy mop of hair. 

There were a fancy selection of soaps next to the sink, and a bowl of popery - very different from my own apartment bathroom, which mainly consistent of some of Gerard's framed comic book prints on the wall. 

This was a pretty fancy art gallery though, so I guess they could afford to splash out. I washed my hands and then gripped the sink, taking a few deeps breaths. 

"You can do this" I turned to see Gerard stood in the doorway, looking amazing in his own suit and tie, black hair framing his face. 

"Well, I kinda have to at this point" I said with a gulp, and he pulled me into a tight hug. 

"I'm so proud of you Frankie" he breathed into my neck "it all looks so amazing out there - and the turn outs looking great." 

"Really?" 

"Yep - and they're all waiting for you" he stepped back "go knock em dead." 

I gave him a brief kiss and walked out of the bathroom, him following behind. We'd recently moved to the outskirts of London, into a small but homely apartment, and it was the best decision we'd ever made. It made sense for me to be close to the gallery ready for tonight's opening. It was an exhibition of young and upcoming artists, and my debut in many ways. I'd been working closely with Ryan's uncle to create the perfect exhibition space for my works, and also working in a bar round the corner of me a few evenings a week so I could cover the rent. Gerard, meanwhile, had started a counselling course and was also working part time at a comic store, so between us we weren't exactly rich, but we were managing. 

I walked into my part of the exhibition and could immediately see various art critics and reporters had already begun to circulate the space, but amongst them were also some familiar faces. 

"Frank!" Lynz pulled me in for a hug, immediately followed by Jimmy, Kellin and Vic "this is amazing!"

"Yeah Frank, your work looks so sick - if I was as rich as Kellin I'd buy it all" Jimmy had made a half hearted attempt to dress smart, but had retained his bright pink mohawk too. 

"Hey!" Kellin elbowed him before turning to me "but he has a point Frank - it all looks insane." Some of the works were new ones I'd created especially for the exhibition, and others were huge photo prints of my works from around town. 

"We better let you mingle, but we'll go out for celebratory drinks after, yeah?" Vic looked over my shoulder, and I too turned to see that James, Isabel, Ray and my parents had just walked in. 

"Good idea" I nodded "I better go get this over with."

"Are your uncle and aunt about to get a proper introduction to your boyfriend?" Lynz raised an eyebrow, and I just gulped and nodded. 

"Oh hell, now I'm really glad we came. I would not miss this for the world" Jimmy practically bounced with excitement. "If you need us we'll be over in that corner pretending we aren't listening but actually totally listening to every word." He steered the others a few meters away, leaving me to turn and face my family. 

"Frank" Ray immediately hugged me "congratulations."

"Yes" my mom smiled "it all looks amazing Frankie. We're so proud." My dad nodded, and I turned to James and Isabel. 

"It's er, certainly interesting" James said, not giving much away "certainly better in an exhibition than on local walls." 

"I'll take that" I chuckled. 

"You're very talented Frank" Isabel nodded "and what James means is that we're happy to see your artwork is getting professional recognition." 

"I am worried about how you're affording to live here though" my mom sighed "I mean, you said you and your boyfriend are both paying the rent, but we haven't even met him..." I knew she was hinting, and I also knew I couldn't avoid it forever. I looked at Ray and he just took a deep breath, knowing what was coming. 

"You're right, I should introduce you all" they smiled at that "hey Gee, come over here!" Gerard had been lingering near the doorway, but immediately walked over, much to my uncle and aunt's confusion. 

"Father Way?" Isabel frowned "what are you doing here?" 

"Actually, it's just Gerard now" He smiled politely "I left the ministry for good, I'm training to be a counsellor now." 

"Oh, lovely" she nodded "I'm sorry to hear you left the church though - I never did find out who the lucky woman was though..." she trailed off, and I could tell her mind was racing, but James was definitely clueless until I reached out and took Gerard's hand in mine. 

"Actually Gerard lives with me now" I made myself look them both in the eyes despite being very tempted to look anywhere else "and it's me he left the priesthood for. We're in love."

They both stood stunned and rooted to the spot, with James finally turning to Gerard with a wild look in his eye. 

"This is one of Frank's pranks or something, right?" 

"No" Gerard said firmly "we waited until he turned eighteen and I left my job to be with him, but I've loved him for a very long time. I'm sorry we couldn't be honest with you sooner." 

"Jesus Frank" my dad cursed, but then he couldn't seem to help himself - he let out a laugh "trust you to give your uncle and aunt a heart attack."

"I guess you were never going to be in a straightforward relationship" my mom mused, and then surprised me by hugging Gerard "it's lovely to meet you. Anyone who makes my son happy is in my good books." 

"Thank you, that means a lot" Gerard seemed to let out a breath. 

"Did you know about this Ray?" James turned to his very silent son. 

"Well..." Ray trailed off "I mean, it doesn't take a genius to see how happy they make each other..." 

"I guess you have't broken the law" Isabel sighed "my sanity maybe, but I'd rather you be with an ex-priest than some of the dodgy types you hang around with." I swear I heard Jimmy give a cough at that from where he and the others were all stood, obviously listening to every word. 

"James?" Gerard reached out a hand "I know it's a lot to come to terms with and adjust to, but it would mean the world to me if you could accept me and Frank's relationship." 

"You ask a lot of me" James gulped, visibly more pale than he had been moments before "I sent Frank to you because I trusted you to keep an eye on him and guide him, and now I'm questioning everything that I started in doing so." 

"To be honest, it was probably the best thing you ever did for me" I tried "I mean, me and Gerard may be together now, but he's helped guide me through so much and he saved my life too. I know this probably all seems to strange, but if you give us a chance I promise you'll see." 

"Go on dad" Ray smiled encouragingly "they aren't doing anyone any harm, they're just happy together. And you know Gerard is a good person - you've said it yourself so many times." 

"Fine fine" James held up his hands "I'll tolerate this, but it's going to take me a while before I'm comfortable with it." 

"That's all we ask" Gerard sighed, the tense atmosphere dissolving a little. 

"Yeah, no big family Christmas just yet" I joked, and Ray let out a snort of laughter. 

"Come on dad" he put his hand on James's shoulder "let's go look at the artwork." James nodded and let his son steer him away, my aunt following behind them. 

"It's nice to meet you Gerard" my dad shook his hand "don't worry about James - we'll work on him."

"Thank you" Gerard placed arm arm around my waist "it's lovely to finally meet you both." 

"Likewise" my mom smiled "anyway, we better go look at all this artwork, but perhaps we could all have dinner before we fly back to New Jersey?" 

"Sounds good" I nodded, and watched them walk away. "Well, that went better than I thought." 

"I can't believe James took it better than Brian did" Gerard mused "I thought I might get punched or something." 

"You and me both" I giggled.

The two of us started to walk round the room, as I showed him some of my older works that he hadn't seen before. I loved how he studied each one in detail, eyes darting around each aspect of the piece and asking me loads of questions about it. I could've stayed talking to him all night, but I noticed Ryan's uncle, the gallery curator Marcus, beckoning me over. 

"Frank" he smiled "there are some people I want you to meet. This is Damien, my boss." 

"Nice to meet you" I shook his hand. 

"Likewise" he beamed "I have to admit, your work is some of the best i've seen in a while. Me and the board here are very keen to encourage you with it." 

"Thank you" I glanced behind him at his colleagues, who were all looking at one of my pieces. 

"That's why we'd like to offer you a job" that made my head snap up "I've got some connections at the council, and there's a series of new murals that are being commissioned in central London. It's going to get huge media attention, and we'd like you to take charge of the whole operation. You'd be working alongside me, organising it all and helping design it. It's an ongoing project, so you'll be on a decent wage too. What do you say?" 

"Yes, of course" I didn't have to hesitate "that sounds amazing." 

"Brilliant, I'll have Marcus here contact you with more details, but I look forward to working with you." 

I felt giddy with adrenaline and pure joy. It look everything I had not to jump around and yell out. My dreams were finally coming true - I was going to do what I loved and earn money from it. It seemed so surreal, and Marcus seemed to see this because he put a hand on my shoulder. 

"Go tell your loved ones the good news, and then go out and celebrate properly. You deserve it."

That's how I ended up in the bar across the road a few hours later, surrounded by Gerard and my friends, as everyone raised their drinks. 

"To Frank!" Ray cheered "and his new job. We all know this is only going to be the start of your art career, and we can't wait to see what you do next!"

"To Frank!" everyone echoed, and I met Gerard's eyes across the room as everyone clinked their glasses together. He was watching me with his head cocked slightly to the side, quietly taking in every detail like he'd been looking at my artwork earlier. I blushed a little, even after all this time, and he must've noticed because he winked at me. 

I got distracted then, pulled into conversation with Kellin and Lynz, but I could still feel him watching me for a few more moments following. As much as I wanted to talk to him properly, I knew it was important to spend time with my friends whilst they were here, and so it was only when we got back to our flat that we finally got a proper moment to ourselves. 

We stumbled in, and he immediately went to put the kettle on. Once it had begun to boil he turned back to me, shrugging off his jacket. I reached forward and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me. Our living room was small and cosy, so we sort of bumped into the wall in the process, but neither of us really noticed. 

"I better get your autograph before you become a world famous artist, you know" He spoke softly, running a hand through my hair. 

"You can have it any day of the week" I chuckled, kissing him. 

"You know, it's been nearly a year since I met you" he mused, still toying with the ends of my hair. 

"It's weird to think of my life without you in it now" I admitted as I thought back to that first meeting over a Metallica CD, me snooping where I shouldn't be and him lying to cover me in front of James despite having only just met. It's weird that we had no idea what was to come from that first meeting, that now a year on we were living together. "So much has happened, I feel like we're both completely different people to who we were back then."

"We're certainly both happier" he nodded "and a lot more free."

Every now and then I'd have the odd nightmare about Ian and everything that happened in Bert's flat, but on the whole we had both recovered pretty well from the whole ordeal. I guess I was mainly just relieved that it was over, and even in my dreams I think I knew subconsciously that he was dead, and couldn't get to me anymore. 

"I love you" I grinned. 

"I love you too" he kissed me "wanna coffee?" 

"Of course." He headed back into the kitchen and I collapsed onto the sofa, just listening to him humming as he moved round the little kitchen, and feeling truly happy and content. Everything had worked out in the end, and now I had a future that I could actually be excited for instead of worrying about. 

THE END

Ahh, what a rollercoaster this was! 

thank you thank you to everyone who has read these books, especially those who read them the first time around before I re-uploaded the finished version! It means the world to me! 

Sorry they took literally forever to finish but I hope the happy ending makes up for it! There were a LOT of loose ends to tie up but hopefully you all enjoyed it. 

If you love priest!Gerard as much as I do I throughly recommend reading the unholyverse series if you havent already (my favourite fanfics everrrrr) and also I recently read Against The Works Of The Flesh on AO3 and that's really good too. I'm sure there are other good ones out there too but they're the ones that come to mind :)

H xxx


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